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Original poster

Vegetarians invited themselves for Christmas- got beef ordered!

874 replies

EdenFlower · 18/11/2021 16:48

So, my vegetarian relatives and asked if they can join us for Christmas? I have it planned- joint of beef on order, I've perfected my roast potatoes and like them cooked in beef dripping, likewise the yorkshire pudding, my sprout recipe is cooked with pancetta, starter is parma ham and figs...and so on! Grrr! Now everything will need to adapted to be veggie because I'm not doing two versions of everything. It was already adapted to be gluten free for MIL but now two more special diet guests is a push.

Would it be rude to ask them to bring their own veggie options with them- nut roast and vegetarian gravy or whatever it is they eat?

OP posts:
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ginswinger · 18/11/2021 17:23

As a veteran vegetarian, I would have no problem bringing my own dishes to share, in fact I'd relish the opportunity to share a few nice dishes.

Being a vegetarian really is a lifestyle choice and I wouldn't expect anyone to bend over backwards to feed me.

Original poster
EdenFlower · 18/11/2021 17:23

I really don't want to say they can't come- I do want them to come- they are most welcome, but was just wanting opinions on if I was rude to ask them to bring their own meat alternative. It seems opinionated is divided on this. I think I will accept I will have to adapt some of the side dishes, it's easy enough I suppose, but might just tell them beef is ordered and what would they prefer as an alternaive- hopefully they will offer to bring then. They are good cooks themselves and I have never made a nut-loaf so wouldn't really want to be experimenting with that for the first time on Christmas day.

OP posts:
BIWI · 18/11/2021 17:24

It's not compulsory to cook a nut roast for vegetarians! Grin

What about a mushroom wellington? Not difficult, but delicious.

Earwigworries · 18/11/2021 17:25

If you want to make them feel unwelcome then ask them to bring their own … I’m a lifelong vegetarian and also cater for a gluten free MIL and all the meat eaters … that said I’d be quite happy with a shop bought nut roast … prepare the veg without the meat products … when culinary preferences come before people there is something wrong

doorornottodoor · 18/11/2021 17:25

I suppose what’s most important to you - having the exact meal you want or making your guests (who you say you like) feel welcome? I’m not a particular cook so would be happy to improvise/adapt and do everything veggie friendly to make my guests feel welcome. That’s what Christmas is about, not the perfect sprouts with pancetta Grin

Taoneusa · 18/11/2021 17:25

Gosh, Op. if, as you say, you are a good cook, this is a non issue. Refer to Nigel slater for nice sprouts without pancetta, nice roast potatoes without beef dripping…etc etc, Jamie Oliver has nice Christmas side dishes without meat. Gosh, honestly…this seems very old fashioned to me. Vegan and vegetarian is an increasingly popular choice and therefore increasingly simple to cater for with a little thought.

QuiteQuaint · 18/11/2021 17:26

I think I will accept I will have to adapt some of the side dishes, it's easy enough I suppose, but might just tell them beef is ordered and what would they prefer as an alternaive- hopefully they will offer to bring then.

Sounds like a good plan. And if they don’t offer, insist they do !

MyAnacondaMight · 18/11/2021 17:26

If you can get over your snobbery re serving a pre-prepared veggie main, then this really doesn’t have to be a big deal. It’s not like you reared and butchered the meat yourself - buying a mushroom Wellington says no more or less about your cooking or hosting than buying a rib of beef and shoving it in the oven.

Roast potatoes are great in sunflower oil. Burrata rather than ham for the figs. And I’m sure your sprouts will be just fine without pancetta.

PurpleDaisies · 18/11/2021 17:26

It doesn’t have to be a nut roast. There loads of options on threads on here.

carbuncleonapigsposterior · 18/11/2021 17:26

As they've invited themselves, either ask them to bring their own meal, or buy some vegetarian dishes, don't change your menu, they may have to forego the roast potatoes, Yorkshire puddings or your sprouts and pancetta and explain to them these are things you have perfected and want to go ahead with.

BlueTouchPaper · 18/11/2021 17:26

MIl still sometimes mentions the excellent chips. I didnt have the heart to tell them the tastiness was because of the beef dripping, I just pray we never go back!

I must say I'm pretty amazed that a genuine long-term vegetarian wouldn't have known that immediately. I accidentally got some frozen roasties that were done in beef dripping and my veggie relatives could tell just from the smell. I had to fish the package out of the bin to check. They were right!

Pumperthepumper · 18/11/2021 17:27

That’s an exceptionally meat-heavy Christmas dinner, your other guests will probably be delighted there’s more veg on the go!

TractorAndHeadphones · 18/11/2021 17:27

@PurpleDaisies

OP if you have cooked them vegetarian food before they might not realise how much of faff it is I get it

Veggies probably have some idea of how much faff cooking veggie is…

Not true - it takes effort to make good vegetarian meals. Someone who's used to it (like my mother/grandmother - we only had meat as a weekend treat) don't find it much effort. I do, having moved away and started cooking at 19. It's so much easier to make meat taste good. Given that the OP has proven that she can make good vegetarian food - the relatives may not realise that it would be difficult for her to do so alongside the already planned Christmas meal.
Displayname · 18/11/2021 17:27

How about messaging and saying something along the lines of:

‘So thrilled to have you here for Xmas, we are having this this and this, I’m terrible at thinking of Xmas veggie options (along with oven space!), - have you got any suggestions as to what you’d like to eat?’

Obviously if you think they’ll just reply with a long list of everything they love to eat and expect you to cook then don’t send that!

AliceMcK · 18/11/2021 17:27

Not at all. Ask them to bring their own. Just say everything will be cooked in some kind of meat product that you have already planned so might be best to bring their own vegetarian food, including veg.

chaosmaker · 18/11/2021 17:27

Why didn't you just tell them that you menu for the day is a meat extravaganza? I don't understand why you didn't say no?

ladygindiva · 18/11/2021 17:27

" Ive already shopped and its a very meat heavy dinner, you are welcome if you bring your own main course" is what i would say

PlausibleSuit · 18/11/2021 17:28

Regardless of the vegetarian/non-vegetarian aspect, I do think it's monumentally cheeky of anyone to invite themselves for Christmas Day lunch.

QuiteQuaint · 18/11/2021 17:28

Obviously if you think they’ll just reply with a long list of everything they love to eat and expect you to cook then don’t send that!

Omg, imagine if they did. 🤣

Tulipomania · 18/11/2021 17:28

In the spirit of Christmas, would it kill you to leave out the pancetta from the sprouts and do a few figs with blue cheese instead of parma ham. And cook the Yorkshire puds in vegetable oil?

Invite the guests to bring their won main course to have alongside yours, and warn them about the roast spuds so they can bring those as well.

Taoneusa · 18/11/2021 17:28

Make a nut roast this weekend as an experiment. Or a mushroom Wellington. You have weeks and weeks to experiment and make nice (vegetarian) food. You might like the food yourself!!

TractorAndHeadphones · 18/11/2021 17:28

@EdenFlower

I really don't want to say they can't come- I do want them to come- they are most welcome, but was just wanting opinions on if I was rude to ask them to bring their own meat alternative. It seems opinionated is divided on this. I think I will accept I will have to adapt some of the side dishes, it's easy enough I suppose, but might just tell them beef is ordered and what would they prefer as an alternaive- hopefully they will offer to bring then. They are good cooks themselves and I have never made a nut-loaf so wouldn't really want to be experimenting with that for the first time on Christmas day.
OP ask they asked themsleves they should be understanding
clartins · 18/11/2021 17:29

@EdenFlower

Surely if you are a vegetarian and you are visiting relatives who you know usually cook a traditional roast on Christmas day then you don't expect the host to provide two options just for you?
Err, yes you would expect a vegetarian option.
Denisthepenis · 18/11/2021 17:29

OP, if you buy a vegetarian something from M&S, your 'good cook' card will not be marked for all of eternity.

I am not sure that the recipients of a good dinner care whether the whole thing is home made or bought. IME, they are just pathetically grateful not to have to cook.

It would be rude to ask them to bring their own.

MarshaBradyo · 18/11/2021 17:29

@Taoneusa

Make a nut roast this weekend as an experiment. Or a mushroom Wellington. You have weeks and weeks to experiment and make nice (vegetarian) food. You might like the food yourself!!
I’d do this and make them feel welcome

And keep your version too