Vegetarians invited themselves for Christmas- got beef ordered!

[EdenFlower]

So, my vegetarian relatives and asked if they can join us for Christmas? I have it planned- joint of beef on order, I've perfected my roast potatoes and like them cooked in beef dripping, likewise the yorkshire pudding, my sprout recipe is cooked with pancetta, starter is parma ham and figs...and so on! Grrr! Now everything will need to adapted to be veggie because I'm not doing two versions of everything. It was already adapted to be gluten free for MIL but now two more special diet guests is a push.

Would it be rude to ask them to bring their own veggie options with them- nut roast and vegetarian gravy or whatever it is they eat?

I’m vegetarian and I cook roast dinner all the time. In your situation I’d keep everything as it was except I’d cook the potatoes in vegetable oil. I’d buy veggie aunty Bessie Yorkers and some bistro gravy and stick on some mixed veg. A Quorn roast only costs a couple of pounds and you just shove it in the oven.

Not a fancy Christmas dinner for them but they did invite themselves!. So yes, you are cooking twice but the additional stuff is quite low maintenance and simple.

If I'd invited a vegetarian to my house at Christmas then I would cater a vegetarian option and wouldn't ask the guests to bring anything.

The difficulty in your situation OP is that these people appear to have invited themselves and you've accepted this, which by default makes you the host. I think they've been quite rude, but now you've agreed to host them I think you'll need to have a vegetarian option. Keep your sides that have meat in though. There's probably enough sides without meat that they can eat.

@DismantledKing

If people learnt to say ‘no’, 75% of MN threads wouldn’t exist

So true

@Sayke

I’ve never encountered vegetarians who cook a special meat option for their meat-eating guests.

Well... Of course you haven't

You’ve never met a veggie with a meat eating partner? It’s pretty common.

Half the sides are ok- swede mash, cauliflower cheese, maybe add another safe side, like red cabbage with red currants and red wine.
Roast some onions.

Don't bother with gravy, it's inherently meaty.

So it's just the main bit- a portobello mushroom with stuffing in puff pastry? Mushroom Wellington, basically. Make it ahead, cook it near the end as it won't take long. Perhaps while eating the starter.

It would be rude to ask them to bring their own.

If you can't cater for your guests then ask them not to come.

I think it's rude to invite yourself to Christmas and I also think it's rude not to offer to contribute something if you are being hosted for a joint celebration like Christmas, so I would have no qualms about saying " we'd love you to come. Would you mind bringing a main for yourselves as we've already ordered beef. I'll make sure the vegetables are suitable for you though". My parents and in laws always bring either starter or dessert if they come to us, and we made Christmas cake, yule log etc they tear we stayed with SIL. It's very much the norm to us. Christmas is about all spending time together, not one person showing off their amazing cooking and hosting! Indeed i expect most vegetarians would prefer to choose their own main than rely on what a meat eater thinks they might like.

I do think it would be rude to expect them to bring their own veg though as they would be harder to transport, keep nice reheating etc, and it's really not hard to cook meat free versions for everyone... gravy is more awkward though so perhaps you will have to lower your standards to bisto!

They should have offered to bring something, especially if they’ve invited themselves.

Some advice from www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.thekitchn.com/vegetarian-etiquette-the-dinne-114459%3famp=1:

...if the dinner party is a smaller affair where avoiding food would be obvious and possibly hurtful to the host, I take a cue from the Emily Post Institute, which advises that a vegetarian respond to an invitation with something like, “‘Thanks so much for the invitation. I should let you know that I’m a vegetarian. I’d love to bring a quiche if that’s okay with you.” This way, the host is both informed and relieved of the pressure to cook an alternate dish. The only thing I might do differently is ask the host whether there is a particular dish I could bring that complements the rest of the menu.

Your friends sound a little thoughtless.

It’s kind of you to want to cater to them. Maybe ask for the recipe of a simple main and side you could prepare for them? Perhaps they’ll take the hint.

Or wild card option fuck it all off and go out for a curry instead?

Vegetarianism is a lifestyle choice

No it's not... How are people still this ignorant, most long-term veggies are for medical reasons, do people think I decided to have a moral stance and join PETA at 6 months old?

I can't digest meat, it literally rots my intestines stopping the absorption of nutrients in a very similar way to coeliac the only difference is people with coeliac don't get called 'awkward' or told they 'choose that lifestyle'.

@JellyBabiesSaveLives plenty do if they're vegetarian for health reasons - or if it's cultural. My family has a mix of diets with certain people vegetarian on certain days. So there's always a mix of food at family dinners.

Some people are don't want to handle meat or have it brought to their houses though.. I don't associate with them

@PurpleDaisies

Vegetarianism is a lifestyle choice.

You can tire your eyebrows out all you like, but it’s true. 🤷🏻‍♀️

most long-term veggies are for medical reasons

I have literally never met a vegetarian/vegan who is doing it for medical reasons.

I think it is rude to ask them to bring their own food! I’d never do that and would far rather make something simple for them, make a veggie gravy in advance, and put it in the freezer, (or buy a nice ready made one) put a separate small tin of roasties in the oven.
Job done. It’s not as if you’ve only got a week to go.
I’m not veggie by the way.

Order this amazing veggie feast which is far too posh to count as a ready meal.

@DismantledKing

If people learnt to say ‘no’, 75% of MN threads wouldn’t exist

If people learned to be vaguely hospitable, 75% of MN threads wouldn't exist.

It would be rude - yes. What you can do is buy a nut roast and adapt a couple of the side dishes to be vegetarian friendly.

@EdenFlower

Surely if you are a vegetarian and you are visiting relatives who you know usually cook a traditional roast on Christmas day then you don't expect the host to provide two options just for you?

No, but I am used to altering family meals.

For example I don't eat red meat, so we have sausage and mash, but make a veggie gravy and then DH adds a beef stock cube for him and ds.

DS doesn't eat peas, so when I make a "cottage" pie with turkey mince I take some mixture out for him and add the peas for the rest of us.

So it wouldn't be a problem for me to do two lots of gravy and I would buy a vegetarian alternative to the turkey. With the sprouts I'd do them as you said with pancetta but cook some separately without the pancetta.

I'd do the roast potatoes in oil instead of goose fat or whatever.

I think it's easy enough to adapt things.

Just say to them that it will be difficult to make a nut roast alongside everything else and ask if they'd prefer a bought one or to bring their own. Some veggies are happy with just the roast sides so they might not want anything extra. Then buy some veggie gravy (instant or a nicer version from the supermarket).

Re the other bits - I don't think it's a big ask for you to do roasties and yorkies with veg fat. Personally I think rapeseed oil is best for both anyway. If you don't want to do that then you'll have to tell your guests that and they probably will be upset by it because it's such a small change.

For the sprouts, fry up the pancetta separately and sprinkle on top.

For the starter, get them some burrata to have with the figs.

@PurpleDaisies

Pasta makes a nice main if you want a suggestion and it's pretty easy (nothing fancy something like Mac and Cheese works)

This is the weirdest thing I think I’ve read.

Pasta has no place on a Christmas dinner!

Well, tell that to places like Toby Carvery (one of the most popular roast dinner restaurants)... it's one of their most popular options lol.

we have sausage and mash I have chicken sausages - forgot that bit!

Your friends probably assume they can eat the potatoes, Yorkshire’s and veg and do not realise it’s a faff. I don’t know anyone who cooks in lard or animal fat (well not in the last 40 years). Then it’s simply vegi sausages in the oven and vegi bisto.

OP, look up Delia online - her gorgeous parsnip roulade with sage and cheese can be made now and popped in the freezer. Problem solved, just defrost overnight on Xmas Eve and heat in the microwave for Xmas dinner. You could decorate it with a sprig of holly to make it seasonal!

@MajorCarolDanvers

It would be rude to ask them to bring their own.

If you can't cater for your guests then ask them not to come.

Really? You'd rather someone asked you not to come to their house than asked you to bring a dish (which ultimately you'd probably end up cooking for yourself if you don't go to their house anyway!). I really don't get that.

Why not make a veggie Lasagna the week before and freeze it then throw in the oven the day of? The rest of the sides sound great