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Original poster

Vegetarians invited themselves for Christmas- got beef ordered!

874 replies

EdenFlower · 18/11/2021 16:48

So, my vegetarian relatives and asked if they can join us for Christmas? I have it planned- joint of beef on order, I've perfected my roast potatoes and like them cooked in beef dripping, likewise the yorkshire pudding, my sprout recipe is cooked with pancetta, starter is parma ham and figs...and so on! Grrr! Now everything will need to adapted to be veggie because I'm not doing two versions of everything. It was already adapted to be gluten free for MIL but now two more special diet guests is a push.

Would it be rude to ask them to bring their own veggie options with them- nut roast and vegetarian gravy or whatever it is they eat?

OP posts:
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StormyTeacups · 18/11/2021 17:11

As you've said here, tell them they're more than welcome but you're already planned foodwise so they'll need to think about what they can eat.

Flossie44 · 18/11/2021 17:12

I’m veggie and I’ve ordered myself a very upmarket looking main from M&S for my Christmas lunch. They also do a selection of vegetarian sides. All ready to go.
I’m not sure why they’d be offended if you served these up. I’d be thrilled that someone else was cooking for me, plus I was in good company. That tbh I’d be chuffed regardless of it not being homemade from scratch

Sally872 · 18/11/2021 17:12

If they are close enough to invite themselves I expect they are close enough for you to say can you please bring your own xyz.

Have your lovely meal that you have planned and welcome your extra guests but don't change everything for them and ask any guest for help/contribution. I expect they will be glad to.

PurpleDaisies · 18/11/2021 17:12

@CarrotSticks19

What good would telling them do? It doesnt change anything and they'd beat themselves up for not checking beforehand. As I said if If known at the time I woud have told them but I didnt realise till afterwards
I would want to know what I had eaten. I would have forgiven an honest mistake.

You thinking it is funny is absolutely pathetic.

QuiteQuaint · 18/11/2021 17:13

It’s much less rude than inviting yourself to someone else’s for Christmas. I mean, that’s monumentally rude, especially when you have dietary requirements which are going to fuck up the host’s menu?

But OP said they asked if they could come. That’s not inviting yourself in my opinion. Inviting yourself would be, ‘we’re coming to you for Xmas dinner’... which my relatives did try one year. I still said no to that so saying no to being asked is easy.

Allsorts1 · 18/11/2021 17:13

Just say, “of course you can come, we are having beef as a main but I will do you all a special vegetarian dish as well and I’m sure everyone will enjoy trying that - where would you recommend a good place to buy a prepped nut roast or is there something different you would prefer?”

Pop all the non vege things like pancetta in pretty dishes for people to add at will and maybe do a mashed potato or something so there is an alternative option for carbs - or ideally just ditch the animal fat on the roasties as olive oil really is just as lovely IMO.

You might find it’s extra special to include a perfectly sustainable and ethical diet into your Xmas day :) (I’m not vege so this isn’t me being holier than thou haha)

caoraich · 18/11/2021 17:14

I wouldn't be offended by being asked to bring my main, and would probably say that actually I am happy with all the trimmings instead. That's what I eat at a normal roast dinner anyway. But I've never been to a roast dinner where the veg is meaty too so as a veggie I wouldn't consider that a standard roast was fully un veggie friendly.

Just explain that to them and they'll probably understand they're not welcome and make other plans- they invited themselves anyway so it's not like you're going back on an invitation

Sayke · 18/11/2021 17:15

@EdenFlower

They don't usually spend Christmas day with us...we usually see them either a few days before or in the new year. Not sure why they have asked if they can visit over Christmas this year- think lack of their own children around these days maybe, I usually have no problem cooking vegetarian when they visit, but Christmas dinner is different- it's hard enough cooking for large numbers as it is without having to provide different things for different people. I'm a good cook and would never serve guests ready-made supermarket food- everything is always homemade!
Just tell them you don't want to cater for them OP.

They shouldn't have invited themselves but you could always have said no.

I'd hate to be somewhere I wasn't welcome so you'd be doing them a favour by asking them not to come.

TractorAndHeadphones · 18/11/2021 17:15

OP if you have cooked them vegetarian food before they might not realise how much of faff it is I get it - hosting Christmas is stressful enough especially as you clearly take pride in your cooking.

Be honest with them - tell them that you've already planned the Christmas meal and it will be difficult for you to provide a vegetarian version as well to the same standard.

I doubt they're going to insist on you cooking double - if they say they don't mind something from M&S then do just that. Mid-November is too late to mess around anyway as most people I know have ordered already.

QuiteQuaint · 18/11/2021 17:16

I'm a good cook and would never serve guests ready-made supermarket food- everything is always homemade!

You need to lower your standard as these are unexpected guests and you’ve already planned everything. You’re allowed to enjoy the day and not stress. As a vegan, if you were my relative, I would hate that this was causing you any worry. If they’re worth knowing, they’ll be fine with shop bought or bringing their own.

Original poster
EdenFlower · 18/11/2021 17:16

@snugglyblanket

I don't think it's rude to ask them to bring something but does MIL chip in too? Seems a bit mean to ask some to contribute and not others.

I would speak to them & just be honest that you've already planned & ordered food. Suggest that either they bring their own main if they are particular, or pick up a nice veggie main if they are happy to eat whatever you provide, there are some lovely pre-prepared vegetarian options available It's easy enough to swap fats on your potatoes & yorkies and do half your sprouts without pancetta. Serve the figs with with a bit of salad for the vegetarians. You could always save the beef dripping for your leftovers on Boxing Day.

I'm happy to accomodate MIL as she is coeliac which is a medical condition- plus it's easy to do- because there isn't much gluten in a roast dinner anyway! Vegetarianism is a lifestyle choice.
OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 18/11/2021 17:16

OP if you have cooked them vegetarian food before they might not realise how much of faff it is I get it

Veggies probably have some idea of how much faff cooking veggie is…

sazzt · 18/11/2021 17:16

In this situation I would provide food as the host but probably by ordering fancy ready made so as to minimise extra effort and still have the meal planned for everyone else eg www.cookfood.net/products/Vegetarian-Christmas-Lunch-for-2/

PurpleDaisies · 18/11/2021 17:17

Vegetarianism is a lifestyle choice.

Hmm
Derbee · 18/11/2021 17:17

@EdenFlower

Surely if you are a vegetarian and you are visiting relatives who you know usually cook a traditional roast on Christmas day then you don't expect the host to provide two options just for you?
We love everyone being together, so we compromise on potatoes not being cooked in animal fat, sprouts without pancetta, paxo stuffing. Pigs in blankets etc the veggies just don’t eat. Separate gravies, and a Linda McCartney roast alongside the turkey. It’s not hard, and it’s not a big compromise
CarrotSticks19 · 18/11/2021 17:17

I will tell them if it happens again @PurpleDaisies, hopefully it doesnt. I genuinly thought it would be better to not know, as the eating had passed and as I said it doesnt change anything. Sorry

cushioncovers · 18/11/2021 17:18

Ask them to bring their own gravy or ask them if bistro is ok. Get a nut roast do some roast potatoes in veg oil next to the dripping ones and some aunt bessies ready made Yorkshire's. It's not hard.

maddy68 · 18/11/2021 17:18

We had veggies with us last year. They brought their own and bunged it in the oven with ours. No biggie

QuiteQuaint · 18/11/2021 17:20

I'm happy to accomodate MIL as she is coeliac which is a medical condition- plus it's easy to do- because there isn't much gluten in a roast dinner anyway! Vegetarianism is a lifestyle choice.

See, that makes me think you’re not catering for them on principle. That’s not so nice. I thought it was just that everything was planned, which is fair enough.

Starryskiesinthesky · 18/11/2021 17:20

@EdenFlower

They don't usually spend Christmas day with us...we usually see them either a few days before or in the new year. Not sure why they have asked if they can visit over Christmas this year- think lack of their own children around these days maybe, I usually have no problem cooking vegetarian when they visit, but Christmas dinner is different- it's hard enough cooking for large numbers as it is without having to provide different things for different people. I'm a good cook and would never serve guests ready-made supermarket food- everything is always homemade!
I think if you pride yourself on being a good host you should make them something as it would be rude to ask them to bring their own stuff. If you are a good cook it shouldn't be that tricky!
Nearthelooplease · 18/11/2021 17:20

@CarrotSticks19 if it’s any consolation I wouldn’t have told them either and I am a vegetarian! I don’t really see the point if they’d already finished them by the time you had realised- it might have upset them and it wouldn’t have achieved anything.

Obviously don’t take them back there though Wink

gogohm · 18/11/2021 17:21

Use sunflower oil for the potatoes and Yorkshire's, no pancetta in the sprouts, they bring a nut roast. It's not a real problem is it? After last year I thought we were more understanding???

toolazytothinkofausername · 18/11/2021 17:22

@EdenFlower

So, my vegetarian relatives and asked if they can join us for Christmas? I have it planned- joint of beef on order, I've perfected my roast potatoes and like them cooked in beef dripping, likewise the yorkshire pudding, my sprout recipe is cooked with pancetta, starter is parma ham and figs...and so on! Grrr! Now everything will need to adapted to be veggie because I'm not doing two versions of everything. It was already adapted to be gluten free for MIL but now two more special diet guests is a push.

Would it be rude to ask them to bring their own veggie options with them- nut roast and vegetarian gravy or whatever it is they eat?

Don't make it too good or else they'll be back every year.

I suggest you buy the sides for the vegetarians ready made then just heat them up in the microwave. Ready made mash, ready made cauliflower cheese, vegetables you can steam in the microwave, ready made red cabbage you can heat in the microwave etc.

You keep your meat and enjoy it!!!

MarshaBradyo · 18/11/2021 17:22

As you are happy they are coming I would find something easy to home cook

That’s just what I’d do if you want to ask them to bring food that’s fine

BIWI · 18/11/2021 17:22

If I was the one inviting myself I would offer to cook/bring something.

If I was the host, I'd expect that offer but would refuse it. You say you're a good cook so it should be easy for you to create something for them as well as for you.