Vegetarians invited themselves for Christmas- got beef ordered!

[EdenFlower]

So, my vegetarian relatives and asked if they can join us for Christmas? I have it planned- joint of beef on order, I've perfected my roast potatoes and like them cooked in beef dripping, likewise the yorkshire pudding, my sprout recipe is cooked with pancetta, starter is parma ham and figs...and so on! Grrr! Now everything will need to adapted to be veggie because I'm not doing two versions of everything. It was already adapted to be gluten free for MIL but now two more special diet guests is a push.

Would it be rude to ask them to bring their own veggie options with them- nut roast and vegetarian gravy or whatever it is they eat?

My question was would it be rude to ask them to bring their own (which would undoubtedly be home-cooked) with them.

I would not be offended. But I’m not easily offended. It’s kind when people make the effort to cook for my vegan diet, but not unkind or rude if they ask me to bring my own.
I presume they want to come for the company as much as anything. If they are offended, then tough.

I didn't say no because it would be rude

No. Asking yourself round for Christmas dinner is rude.

As a veggie I’m always happy to bring my own food, even cooked so it can be heated up. I usually just go for veggie sausages as they’re easy and go well with a roast. Nut roast I usually avoid - it’s dry and bitty. Gravy is just boiled water on granules. Shame about the potatoes but I think olive oil works really well, and I know some chefs do too.

@EdenFlower

Surely if you are a vegetarian and you are visiting relatives who you know usually cook a traditional roast on Christmas day then you don't expect the host to provide two options just for you?

Depends how good a host they are!

I would offer to bring my own food tbh especially if I'd invited myself.

If you resent catering for them maybe ask them to come later in the day and do a buffet.

They have been lifelong veggies so have probably never eaten beef dripping @quiteQuaint. Plus not a lot is cooked in beef dripping these days

Im not saying that meat is the tastiest flavour ever, and no one should ever be veggie. Theres no need for the face, I just thought it was an amusing story related to the thread. And they were really good chips

I would explain your menu plans and ask them if they could bring their own main course

Forgot to say that my OH likes his sprouts with bacon so he just adds that in afterwards and fries it through.

or alternatively I would explain your menu plans and ask them what the best solution is

It’s very rude to invite yourselves to Christmas lunch when you know the host eats meat and expect the host to change their menu to suit. They can bring their own food and you can provide the vegetarian drinks and nibbles. (Your menu sounds lush by the way).

I'm vegan and would definitely offer to bring my own if I was inviting myself round to confirmed meat-eaters! In fact I'd not offer I would just SAY I was bringing my own.

If you'd invited them then its on you to cater for them. If they've invited themselves and you really CBA with the extra no-meat meals then I would just have an honest conversation and explain you've already got it planned out as being unsuitable for them and could they provide something suitable for you to cook/heat up.

It wouldn't be rude to say no, I don't understand why no one on MN has a backbone

Im not saying that meat is the tastiest flavour ever, and no one should ever be veggie. Theres no need for the hmm face, I just thought it was an amusing story related to the thread. And they were really good chips

There’s every need for the face. It’s always a certain type of meat eater that has these ‘stories’ and finds them amusing.

Weird of them to invite themselves but maybe they didn’t realise you were total carnivores who had meat everywhere and thought it would just be a case of one small main, plus trimmings like everyone else does, tell them your problem.

No I didnt @PurpleDaisies. I think it would only upset them. If we went back or I had realised while we were eating I would have told them.

Posh M&S or 'Trose Xmas veggie is the way to go with this one. Tough patooties if not homecooked.

@quiteQuaint Im not any type of meat eater. If you want to say Im lying come out and say it, stop using quotation marks and faces.

I really don’t get how picking up a nut roast and ready made gravy from sainsburys is a massive deal.

Op says her guests would turn their noses up at such basic fare!

@CarrotSticks19

No I didnt *@PurpleDaisies*. I think it would only upset them. If we went back or I had realised while we were eating I would have told them.

Awful behaviour and worse that you thought it was a funny story for the thread.

@HunkyPunk

I really don’t get how picking up a nut roast and ready made gravy from sainsburys is a massive deal.

Op says her guests would turn their noses up at such basic fare!

After I had posted that.

Either tell them you've unfortunately got no more room for guests or, if you've already said they can come, bung some frozen roasties and a Linda McCartney roast in the oven along with all the meaty bits.

I don't think it's rude to ask them to bring something but does MIL chip in too? Seems a bit mean to ask some to contribute and not others.

I would speak to them & just be honest that you've already planned & ordered food. Suggest that either they bring their own main if they are particular, or pick up a nice veggie main if they are happy to eat whatever you provide, there are some lovely pre-prepared vegetarian options available It's easy enough to swap fats on your potatoes & yorkies and do half your sprouts without pancetta. Serve the figs with with a bit of salad for the vegetarians. You could always save the beef dripping for your leftovers on Boxing Day.

Would it be rude to ask them to bring their own veggie options with them- nut roast and vegetarian gravy or whatever it is they eat?

It’s much less rude than inviting yourself to someone else’s for Christmas. I mean, that’s monumentally rude, especially when you have dietary requirements which are going to fuck up the host’s menu?

If they have any social cop on, they’d have offered to bring their own veggie contributions when they invited themselves.

I honestly can’t believe the pickle some people find themselves in on MN.

I don’t know a soul in real life who’d behave like this. Or if they did, anyone who wouldn’t know how to easily and politely respond to the situation.

For the record, the easy, polite response is - ‘you’re welcome to join us, I’m planning beef, x, y and x, so if that does suit, feel free to bring something along to contribute. Come any time from midday’.

Im not any type of meat eater. If you want to say Im lying come out and say it, stop using quotation marks and hmm faces.

I don’t believe you. There you go.

Also to laugh about it shows exactly what sort of person you are.

What good would telling them do? It doesnt change anything and they'd beat themselves up for not checking beforehand. As I said if If known at the time I woud have told them but I didnt realise till afterwards

They don't usually spend Christmas day with us...we usually see them either a few days before or in the new year. Not sure why they have asked if they can visit over Christmas this year- think lack of their own children around these days maybe, I usually have no problem cooking vegetarian when they visit, but Christmas dinner is different- it's hard enough cooking for large numbers as it is without having to provide different things for different people. I'm a good cook and would never serve guests ready-made supermarket food- everything is always homemade!