Vegetarians invited themselves for Christmas- got beef ordered!

[EdenFlower]

So, my vegetarian relatives and asked if they can join us for Christmas? I have it planned- joint of beef on order, I've perfected my roast potatoes and like them cooked in beef dripping, likewise the yorkshire pudding, my sprout recipe is cooked with pancetta, starter is parma ham and figs...and so on! Grrr! Now everything will need to adapted to be veggie because I'm not doing two versions of everything. It was already adapted to be gluten free for MIL but now two more special diet guests is a push.

Would it be rude to ask them to bring their own veggie options with them- nut roast and vegetarian gravy or whatever it is they eat?

@Longbarn5

I agree re asking them to bring their own food to be honest. We have both a nut allergic ceoliac and a vegetarian in our immediate family and I am very used to catering for them and actually enjoy the challenge but I know both would be perfectly happy to bring their own food to someone else's home and indeed have done, although this was not at Christmas. They would not, having said that, invite themselves to another persons house, relative or not, for Christmas or at any other time to be honest,

TBH the inviting themselves wasn't really the rude part. Inviting themselves with zero consideration as to how it affects the OP is the rude part ; your relatives sound lovely!

I would buy a nut roast for them, change your potatoes to oil and just get some onion gravy. I’m a vegetarian and it’s pretty simple to cater for us. You could always get frozen or fresh roast potatoes and yorkshires it’s not a big problem.

Dont mind bisto gravy, buy the vegetable one and the onion then mix it's much better.

For myself, if you're going to invite people to your home for dinner, I think you cook something everyone can eat. Otherwise you make one group of people feel like an imposition. I have vegan friends and I think if they were coming to see me, I'd cook something everyone could eat. As a vegetarian, I hate it when there is one dish 'for you' and others for everyone else. I think it is rude. It feels rude, and it's more of an obligation to be there than an enjoyment. I'd never ask anyone to bring their own food with them!

In a practical way, I would hate someone flapping about in the kitchen, heating up their own food while I was trying to make a nice dinner! That sounds awful.

Separate main dishes, and then the side dishes for everyone seems like a good idea. There are lots of nice vegetarian main dishes that go nicely with roast potatoes and yorkshire puddings. Have a look at the christmas menu for a nice vegetarian restaurant, and you'll see that's what they will do. A bit modern, and a bit traditional.

People can seem to get a bit hysterical about traditional Christmas dinners! It's as if everyone drops back into Dickens for the day, and these feasts they'd never normally dream of eating become tremendously important.

@EstherTW

For myself, if you're going to invite people to your home for dinner, I think you cook something everyone can eat. Otherwise you make one group of people feel like an imposition. I have vegan friends and I think if they were coming to see me, I'd cook something everyone could eat. As a vegetarian, I hate it when there is one dish 'for you' and others for everyone else. I think it is rude. It feels rude, and it's more of an obligation to be there than an enjoyment. I'd never ask anyone to bring their own food with them!

In a practical way, I would hate someone flapping about in the kitchen, heating up their own food while I was trying to make a nice dinner! That sounds awful.

Separate main dishes, and then the side dishes for everyone seems like a good idea. There are lots of nice vegetarian main dishes that go nicely with roast potatoes and yorkshire puddings. Have a look at the christmas menu for a nice vegetarian restaurant, and you'll see that's what they will do. A bit modern, and a bit traditional.

People can seem to get a bit hysterical about traditional Christmas dinners! It's as if everyone drops back into Dickens for the day, and these feasts they'd never normally dream of eating become tremendously important.

She didn't invite anybody. They invited themselves

@EstherTW

For myself, if you're going to invite people to your home for dinner, I think you cook something everyone can eat. Otherwise you make one group of people feel like an imposition. I have vegan friends and I think if they were coming to see me, I'd cook something everyone could eat. As a vegetarian, I hate it when there is one dish 'for you' and others for everyone else. I think it is rude. It feels rude, and it's more of an obligation to be there than an enjoyment. I'd never ask anyone to bring their own food with them!

In a practical way, I would hate someone flapping about in the kitchen, heating up their own food while I was trying to make a nice dinner! That sounds awful.

Separate main dishes, and then the side dishes for everyone seems like a good idea. There are lots of nice vegetarian main dishes that go nicely with roast potatoes and yorkshire puddings. Have a look at the christmas menu for a nice vegetarian restaurant, and you'll see that's what they will do. A bit modern, and a bit traditional.

People can seem to get a bit hysterical about traditional Christmas dinners! It's as if everyone drops back into Dickens for the day, and these feasts they'd never normally dream of eating become tremendously important.

I don’t think the op should switch from beef as it’s been ordered and planned for

But I do think some nice options are fine

I think making them welcome is good but scrapping it all just for one thing everyone can eat is overkill

Veggie here! I’d OFFER to bring my own food as Christmas is a pain. So not rude ask them to do so. I cook meat options for meat eating friends (turkey crown with bacon, pigs in blankets, pancetta sprouts etc) but there’s minimal prep involved with them so it’s less hassle than for a meat eater to make a special nut roast for me and DH. Would say though in the same spirit of easy to diversify - could you do them a separate tray of potatoes and saucepan of sprouts without the pancetta?

@EdenFlower

I think I might use sunflower oil mixed with a bit of olive oil- or maybe there is something else out there that's even better?

I use butter! No oil, just a block of butter.

Vegan here, there’s loads of options and I appreciate it may not seem like that if it’s not what you’ve and your consider before. If you are a cook then it should be relatively easy for you.

Mushroom wellington is lovely. Bought puff pastry (Jus-Rol) is vegan. Caramised onion and wilted spinach can be done the night before. Don’t make it up and cook until the rest of the dinner is ready to cook as the mushrooms will lose water and make pastry soggy if stored. You’ll easily get a recipe online.

Tarts like caramelised onion and goats cheese would also be delicious.

Roasted veg in olive oil and herbs are lovely with the Mushroom Wellington. The cauliflower cheese will be delicious too.

The only other thing to add is the roasted potatoes which you can do in olive oil with garlic and Rosemary.

Enjoy!

I can't imagine inviting myself to someone's Christmas knowing I was causing them a load more work to accommodate my diet. Some people are so thoughtless.

I don’t like this ‘they invited themselves’ thing.
The Op had a choice. If there was a discussion and the veggies suggested coming for Christmas, of course she could have said it didn’t suit. If they are coming, she has to take responsibility for it. If she didn’t want them to, she absolutely didn’t have to have them.

So you either take them graciously or you say no. Having them and resenting them (although Op says she will be glad to see them) or their food requirements seems daft.

Lots of people see, to think the6 should fully cater for themselves because they are veggie (aka ‘nuisance’) but rather than target that, fo us on ‘they invited themselves’.

On Christmas Day, the only people will be there are those Op is willing to have. If she really is having people there that she doesn’t want, who insisted on coming despite her saying ‘no’, then that is very odd…..but it really doesn’t sound like that’s the case. Instead it sounds like Op is hosting, but these people have needs which are a bit more tricky and she’s resenting that….or at least some other people on the thread wouldn’t like to have to feed someone who dared to be a veggie - ‘what a bloody nuisance’ is the implication.

All guests should be offering to bring food. Up to host whether to accept. All hosts should feel they can ask guests to bring something for the meal. Therefore, no real issue as Op can have things brought by the veggies. Will she have to make any effort because some veggies are coming….yes probably. She might need to amend one of her vegetable dishes,nor cook it without meat and take some out before adding the meat. Exttra work? yes, a bit, does it have to be loads of extra work? No. So is it a big deal? I can’t see why it would be.

Some people though, like to be offended and feel ‘put upon’ by others. They like to suggest others have imposed on them and they couldn’t possibly say ‘no’. Either say ‘no’ if you don’t want something, or say ‘yes’ with good grace. And then find easy and workable solutions which feel manageable to you. Some would change their meal to be fully veggie and be happy to do so. Fine. Some would cook their existing meal and buy a veggie dish for the oven and a couple of side dishes. Fine. Some would ask the veggies to bring a main course and amend one or two side dishes so everyone can eat them. Fine.

Is there a need for moaning or solidarity from others in taking offence about what’s happening and seeing a terrible imposition and burden on Op being created? I can’t see it myself..it’s a non-issue, or an issue with so many very easy solutions that it’s a non-issue.

[quote Cameleongirl]@WhereYouLeftIt Ohh, I'm going to my local market tomorrow and will try to get the ingredients for that loaf, it looks delicious![/quote]
@Cameleongirl, quick tip, don't bother with the 500g of cranberries, a jar of cranberry sauce does just as well! I've made it both ways and really couldn't taste any difference.

It is delicious - the non-veggies tend to have turkey, and then a slice of this for their second helping.

Vegan here, I bring my own homemade gravy, Wellington as my main. Also bring my own starter and main. The host does normally do me some roasties in oil and keeps any butter off other veggies right til the end so I can grab some first and put my own vegan butter on my portion. I wouldn't expect everyone to do that for me though and I wouldn't be at all offended if someone asked me to bring my own food or get there early to help prep my own food. Christmas dinners are stressful enough. I'd even be willing to help out with the cooking for everyone in general. My advice is honestly just to be open with them and tell them how much you have on, that you'd love to have their company but you just can't take on anymore food prep, please could they bring and prep their own.

@WombatChocolate

I don’t like this ‘they invited themselves’ thing. The Op had a choice. If there was a discussion and the veggies suggested coming for Christmas, of course she could have said it didn’t suit. If they are coming, she has to take responsibility for it. If she didn’t want them to, she absolutely didn’t have to have them.

So you either take them graciously or you say no. Having them and resenting them (although Op says she will be glad to see them) or their food requirements seems daft.

Lots of people see, to think the6 should fully cater for themselves because they are veggie (aka ‘nuisance’) but rather than target that, fo us on ‘they invited themselves’.

On Christmas Day, the only people will be there are those Op is willing to have. If she really is having people there that she doesn’t want, who insisted on coming despite her saying ‘no’, then that is very odd…..but it really doesn’t sound like that’s the case. Instead it sounds like Op is hosting, but these people have needs which are a bit more tricky and she’s resenting that….or at least some other people on the thread wouldn’t like to have to feed someone who dared to be a veggie - ‘what a bloody nuisance’ is the implication.

All guests should be offering to bring food. Up to host whether to accept. All hosts should feel they can ask guests to bring something for the meal. Therefore, no real issue as Op can have things brought by the veggies. Will she have to make any effort because some veggies are coming….yes probably. She might need to amend one of her vegetable dishes,nor cook it without meat and take some out before adding the meat. Exttra work? yes, a bit, does it have to be loads of extra work? No. So is it a big deal? I can’t see why it would be.

Some people though, like to be offended and feel ‘put upon’ by others. They like to suggest others have imposed on them and they couldn’t possibly say ‘no’. Either say ‘no’ if you don’t want something, or say ‘yes’ with good grace. And then find easy and workable solutions which feel manageable to you. Some would change their meal to be fully veggie and be happy to do so. Fine. Some would cook their existing meal and buy a veggie dish for the oven and a couple of side dishes. Fine. Some would ask the veggies to bring a main course and amend one or two side dishes so everyone can eat them. Fine.

Is there a need for moaning or solidarity from others in taking offence about what’s happening and seeing a terrible imposition and burden on Op being created? I can’t see it myself..it’s a non-issue, or an issue with so many very easy solutions that it’s a non-issue.

In your middle paragraph you say ‘all guests should offer to bring food’ (which these people didn’t). All hosts should be able to feel that they can ask guests ( the point of the OP - to which there have been mixed responses).

Again - we don’t have enough information to respond, and we don’t know what the OP’s relatives are like. It could be because the OP is an accomplished cook they think that they’ll be able to put their feet up and be treated to a vegetarian feast. It could be that they didn’t realise how much things would have to be amended.

But the main point that people are making - and that you have repeated yourself is that guests should offer to help ease the host’s burden. Which they haven’t done 😂

Also to add @WombatChocolate most people aren’t saying that the veggies should fully cater for themselves. In fact the OP is about them bringing their own main. Nothing to do with sides
‘Some’ sides adapted seems to be the consensus and most of the vegetarians have stated that they’re happy bringing their own food

If you have already planned the menu and majority are meat eaters then I would just explain that anything they can bring to help out would be gratefully received and explain what you are cooking with meat, to be honest though it would t be much of a problem to just stick all their veg into a separate pan away from any meat things even if you just set aside and either keep warm or nuke it just before serving, just explain it’s more to do with oven/cooker space more than anything else

I'm a veggie and always offer to bring my own as I am the only one in the family that is. No problem. At my house DH cooks anything meaty as raw meat makes me want to vomit. I do feel that if you are a veggie and you invite yourself to a meat eaters house you should offer to bring your own.

This parsnip roulade is lovely and Christmassy. I know the recipe may look long winded, but for an experienced cook it's straightforward and it can also be frozen so you can make in advance.

www.deliaonline.com/recipes/type-of-dish/vegetarian-recipes/cheese-and-parsnip-roulade-with-sage-and-onion-stuffing

@laalaaleelee

Vegan here, I bring my own homemade gravy, Wellington as my main. Also bring my own starter and main. The host does normally do me some roasties in oil and keeps any butter off other veggies right til the end so I can grab some first and put my own vegan butter on my portion. I wouldn't expect everyone to do that for me though and I wouldn't be at all offended if someone asked me to bring my own food or get there early to help prep my own food. Christmas dinners are stressful enough. I'd even be willing to help out with the cooking for everyone in general. My advice is honestly just to be open with them and tell them how much you have on, that you'd love to have their company but you just can't take on anymore food prep, please could they bring and prep their own.

Do you really not mind? It seems so unwelcoming to me, to ask someone round for dinner and then ask them to bring their own food with them! I'd no idea people did this. This thread is so enlightening!

I have had this. Tell them you are preparing a traditional Xmas meal based on a beef joint with meat -trimmings. However, if thay would like to pre- or par-prepare their own veggy dietry requirements they are welcome to join you and share on anything they can eat so you will increase the vegs on their behalf.
I dislike vegetarians at mealtimes. Xmas meal is a big challenge at the best of times but catering for fundamental different dietry requirements is a bloody nuisance. However, it is Christmas so it gratious of you to include relatives, but they should not expect you to be put out too much. You could buy a tin of lychees or guavas to replace the Palma ham, and if you like, invite them to supply the Plum Pud which they can microwave at your place (or some other dessert).

@WhereYouLeftIt An entire block??????? 🚑🚨🏥

Wow, it's PMS central on this thread tonight!

I'm just sat here astonished that so many people seem to think it's normal to have Yorkshire puddings with a Christmas dinner?! I love them but they're not part of a traditional Christmas meal. I know there's no hard & fast rules but, I thought it was universally understood! 🧑🏻‍🎄🎄

Are we still banging on about nut roasts for vegetarians? Ugh. News flash - vegetarianism has moved on since the 1970s. Just because supermarkets sell them doesn’t mean vegetarians actually want or like them.

I made that Jamie Oliver nut roast one year. It was quite nice, and my guests seemed to enjoy it. I'm not veggie but my guests were and I couldn't be arsed making loads of different stuff for everyone. Perhaps we're all old fashioned in our tastes

Cook their dinner this weekend. Put it in the freezer and microwave on Christmas Day.
Job done.

[quote Almostmenopausal]@WhereYouLeftIt An entire block??????? 🚑🚨🏥[/quote]
For an full tray (about 3.5kg) of parboiled then shaken potatoes - yes. It allows me to baste them all quickly, and makes lots of crispy bits.