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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Is anyone else's Christmas not "ruined"?

230 replies

DumplingsAndStew · 18/11/2020 08:35

Constantly reading about how Christmas will be awful due to restrictions on travel and numbers.

A few years ago, we started having Christmas alone at home, just me and the two kids. We take it easy, have a Christmas dinner and stay in pyjamas and just chill out. Its much more manageable for of us (additional needs).
In terms of activities leading up to Christmas, the main thing we do is go out looking at people's light displays, drink hot chocolate, watch movies etc.

But according to most people, our Christmas is awful and unimaginable to them. 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
feministbias · 18/11/2020 14:46

Mine
We have a cast iron reason why we can't see the IL , no having our faces rubbed in just how low down the pecking order we are. Our kids won't have to see just how much more important their cousins are etc.

SeaKingdom · 18/11/2020 14:47

@RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime

People saying "it will be lovely to be just me/just me and DH/just us and the DC with food we like, movies and no pressure" - you can do that most weekends if you want, can't you?

Christmas is a festival time, it's meant to be different. If you don't want to do that, fine, but it's not the only time of the year you can have a day just doing what you want.

I completely agree with this! If your life is so busy that you can't usually spend a day chilling with your children, and I can imagine lots of reasons why that might be the case, both good and bad reasons, then I understand why you would love to spend a day doing that. I would too if it wasn't something I usually did. But when every other weekend is like that, especially this year, doing that on Christmas Day makes it completely meh for me. I want to get dressed up all sparkly, chat to my dad in the kitchen and ask if he wants a hand, drink a glass of Prosecco and giggle with my sisters, watch my nephews open their presents, play silly games with my mum, sing songs while my brother in law and DH play the guitar, pass potatoes and carrots up and down the massive table, etc etc
steppemum · 18/11/2020 14:51

I don't mind a Christmas with just my family.

BUT I am bored. In fact WE are bired of each others company, and while usually a quiet Christmas is an antidote to a busy life, this year it just feels liek more of the same.

And I would just shrug and get on with it, but I would like to bring my parents to ours, that woudl make 7. Not too bad.

I also haven't seen the rest of my family - brothers and sisters-in-lawe and nieces and nephews for 8 months as non live locally. I would love to see them. One niece is ill, and we would love to just have some time with the family to give them love and support.

It isn't awful or ruined, but it is sad

Viv0321 · 18/11/2020 14:54

What’s everyone doing in the run up to Xmas though?

safariboot · 18/11/2020 14:55

Same here. Our extended family are scattered across England, and there's 'history' between some people, so big get-togethers have never been a thing for us.

Norugratsatall · 18/11/2020 14:58

Last Xmas day I cooked for 8 people. My oven is old and it was stressful trying to get everything cooked properly and the potatoes crispy etc. I spent a good chunk of the day in the kitchen preparing cooking clearing up etc (i did have help!). It was exhausting. This year will just be the four of us and I CANT WAIT. Lost my dad suddenly in Jan this year though so will also be very poignant that he won't be with us.
It is a difficult one as I normally do love loads of people round me at Xmas but not this year! I'm still recovering from Covid (caught in March) so wouldn't have the energy to entertain anyway. Well have a quiet day, I'll do a roast dinner. Lots of playing games, go for a walk, chat and laugh, watch TV. Will be great!

pinkksugarmouse · 18/11/2020 14:58

No ours won't be ruined 🤞

It's DH & I as usual. DD (17) will stay with her dad on the day and Boxing day as he gets very little time off and due to health issues I'm not in paid work so she can be with me before and after.

I do wonder if my pre Christmas meets ups and meals with friends will still go ahead and will be disappointed if they can't but it won't ruin my Christmas.

Loosing a loved one including my old lady cat or someone becoming seriously ill (covid or not) would ruin it.

But I can appreciate for a lot of people with elderly relatives they can't see, having lost jobs and kids having events like caroling, pantomimes, school plays, discos etc it will feel very sad and difficult.

Bluesheep8 · 18/11/2020 15:01

What’s everyone doing in the run up to Xmas though?

Continuing to be locked down?
And either obeying/bending rules as they see fit?
Same as now, then.

Bufferingkisses · 18/11/2020 15:04

Actually Pizza, I apologise, I shouldn't have reacted to your post. It is clear you have had a ridiculously hard time and, if I haven't done what you're saying, then it really isn't my place to take issue with it. If I have then I need to examine that myself, as you say it is perfectly ok to be positive, it isn't ok to be negative to those who have run out of energy or reason to be positive.

In all honesty I believe that people are talking about those who are doing a fake woe is me act which is, in itself, insulting to those who have much bigger concerns. However, as always, that is a bit "oh I'm not talking about you when I say xyz...." which really doesn't wash.

Again, my apologies.

PizzzaExpressWoking · 18/11/2020 15:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PizzzaExpressWoking · 18/11/2020 15:08

Okay I wrote the above post before I saw Bufferingkisses last reply to me, so Buffering: thank you, that's a very kind thing to say, and I apologise for my hasty and overly-heated reply.

I've asked MN to delete my last post.

(And I really, really am not calling anyone "smug" for being positive or being able to have a nice Christmas regardless. I love Christmas! I want people to have a good Christmas! I just don't want to be called a hysterical snowflake for not doing performative positivity to their liking.)

LadyCatStark · 18/11/2020 15:11

I’m not bothered at all. We usually have Christmas just the 3 of us and visit family around that time. I’m sure we’ll be able to do a socially distanced walk or something around Christmas. DS (11) couldn’t sleep last night because he was too excited for Christmas so he can’t be that upset at the thought of spending it with just his mum and dad. He’s got a lot of sleepless nights ahead though if he’s going to stay that excited 😂.

Bufferingkisses · 18/11/2020 15:12

Don't worry Pizza, my fault for initiating it. Flowers

Lovemusic33 · 18/11/2020 15:30

Our Christmas is the same OP, since doing it this way it’s been much more enjoyable, none of the stress of cooking for lots of people, visiting relatives or dressing up, the kids can relax, no rush to open presents, eat what we want, watch what we want and we don’t have to be on our best behaviour. It’s bliss. Our Christmas won’t be much different this year.

nocoolnamesleft · 18/11/2020 15:33

I'm single with no kids. Very unlikely to be able to see family or friends. I'll be alone for Xmas. Am I allowed to call mine a bit ruined?

JoeNotExotic · 18/11/2020 15:37

I’m as excited as ever for Christmas. Granted it’ll be a little different this year with COVID but I’m really hopeful

HemlockStarglimmer · 18/11/2020 16:02

Thanks to working retail I only get one day off at Christmas so our celebrations have been low key and local for years.
This year I'm being made redundant so I'll be able to enjoy a relaxing (if cheap) festive season. But still local.

Squirrelblanket · 18/11/2020 16:06

Ours hasn't changed at all, looking forward to it like every other year!

Having been on the end of covid wrecking lots of other things for me this year though, I really do feel for people for whom it's going to make things a bit shit.

WhentheDealGoesDown · 18/11/2020 16:10

Not Christmas Day but I generally go out with several friends for Christmas meals beforehand so that is pretty ruined.

Trousersareoverrated · 18/11/2020 16:12

Sounds like a lovely Christmas and ours may be similar- just us and the kids. But do spare a thought for those who are alone on Christmas- it’s a very depressing time to be totally alone. My sister is hoping to travel to is from another country- she lives alone and has just gone through a breakup and is jobless because of Covid. We will all be very sad if she can’t join us as I hate to think of her sad and alone on the day.

MillieEpple · 18/11/2020 16:16

i'm alright but I would prefer to have my elderly relatives who live alone around or drop in and say hi. But i can only pick the one who is in my bubble. So my meal and film watching is uneffected.
i feel for those alone people who dont really have a bubble or single parents who picked a practical bubble, like someone who could help with school runs over their sister who lives further away, but you wouldnt spend christmas with the person who helps with school runs plus the kids are at the other parents this year.

Toddlerteaplease · 18/11/2020 16:26

No, I'm working anyway. Really don't think we should relax to much

Sexlessinthirties · 18/11/2020 16:42

Mines not ruined, I'll be happy if I get the day off work to spend it with my partner (NHS staff)

Last year we found out my partner had a life threatening health condition 4 days before Christmas, that news ruined last Christmas a bit but we still made the best of it.

GeorgiaGirl52 · 18/11/2020 17:00

Our entire extended family (three households) is only seven people. We get up on our own timetable, have breakfast and open Santa gifts at home. Then the two DDs and their families come to my house for a tea time buffet and the men watch football (not this year, YAY!) and we talk and open presents here. Then a walk around the neighborhood with the dogs, cleaning and packing up. They leave before dark and my kitchen is clean, my dishese are done, the fridge is filled and the dogs are walked. I can sit down with hot cocoa and popcorn and watch old movies. Merry Christmas to me!!

BiddyPop · 18/11/2020 18:24

Ours is not ruined. It will be different, even to our quieter years at home - but that does not mean ruined at all.

I know a lot of our seasonal events and traditions cannot happen. Even if some things open up, we won't be going to pubs or having work lunches or similar.
Bigger events won't happen, like carol concerts in local churches or seasonal concerts in the concert hall.

We will find some way to do an end of year event for my Cub pack, as there is a group moving up to Scouts in January - but I have no idea how to do that yet with restrictions on numbers.

The Christmas Eve swim at the sailing club may happen because it's outdoors - but likely without the hot showers afterwards, only mulled wine. And it's by no means certain that it will happen.

But we will still decorate the house.
We will still have log fires to relax in front of.
I have, as every year, already stocked up a few books to read (and this year, I may well actually get to read them!!).
I have started to stock up on treats for the family to enjoy - good coffee, nice wine, proper smoked salmon (local to where we grew up but he's now online and offers delivery), the (relatively ordinary but family favourite) biscuits we like, etc.
I have bought my cards and stamps, although I need to get writing.

I have a lot of presents etc organised already, but yet to wrap anything - and they will all need to be posted or couriered to people instead of delivered in person.

We will take some time as a family to remember the good and bad of the year just finishing, and the people no longer with us, as we do every year.

Santa will still come (despite the fact he comes to a teen - she still puts her stocking out every year, and makes him cookies).

Church may not be possible, but we will say a few prayers around the crib instead.

We generally do have a walk on the day and that is still possible.

We will cook a turkey dinner (because we like it) or another nice dinner if we can't get a turkey.

If restrictions allow, we hope to visit extended family over the season. But we will likely only do it in day trips rather than staying over - they are between 90 minutes to 3.5 hours away.

I know the annual family gathering on my side for New Year (in my parent's holiday house near the sea) has been cancelled. There could be up to 14 within our family going (if so many, a few stay in a local hotel), and they also throw a party for their neighbours in that visit. So both are off this year.

Basically, it will not be the same as normal, even the years where we do stay here and only travel after 25th. But it is definitely not ruined - just different. There are lots of things that you can still do that you normally would. We are far better now than we ever were at communicating at a distance - so we will probably have a zoom call rather than phonecalls on the day.

And taking some time to just slow down and enjoy family is important. Many many families (like us) have been at full tilt all year and need a slowdown and destress time, and a chance to make sense of the year.

And many others have been let go or furloughed, so making things simpler would be good to reduce pressure to give big presents and have huge feasts.