Is anyone else's Christmas not "ruined"?

[DumplingsAndStew]

Constantly reading about how Christmas will be awful due to restrictions on travel and numbers.

A few years ago, we started having Christmas alone at home, just me and the two kids. We take it easy, have a Christmas dinner and stay in pyjamas and just chill out. Its much more manageable for of us (additional needs).
In terms of activities leading up to Christmas, the main thing we do is go out looking at people's light displays, drink hot chocolate, watch movies etc.

But according to most people, our Christmas is awful and unimaginable to them. 🤷🏼‍♀️

It won't be ruined for me, provided everyone I know and love is healthy.

But I can well understand how crap it will be for millions of people which is a shame.

Any restrictions mean I've got the excuse I needed to say no to my dysfunctional family.
Every year I'm expected to host the family and my siblings treat it as unpaid childcare while they get pissed, with alcohol I provided.
I said never again last year and I meant it but this has made it so much easier.

We don't yet know what we will be allowed to do at Christmas so how can people say it is ruined or not?
I'm hoping my DS and partner will be allowed to come to me on Christmas Day as usual but we don't yet know. It's obviously sensible not to have big parties/get togethers this year regardless of rules at the time.

Won’t be ruined for us as I will have DH and the two DC

But I can imagine it’s going to be pretty tough for a lot of people who don’t have much in the way of family they live with.

I come from a small family, I have no frame of reference for a big jolly Christmas, my childhood Christmas was me, my mum and my grandparents. I don’t feel like my experience was second best because there weren’t dozens of people around. This year’s Christmas Day won’t be any different to any other year for me, it’ll be me, my mum, DH and DD.

What I will miss is the events, we have tickets for the palladium panto but I very much doubt it’ll be going ahead now. Also the Christmas fairs, and the carol services will be sorely missed. I don’t feel like everything is ruined though, just it’s a bit of a shame.

For some people it may be there last christmas so not being able to spend with family is devastating

Well make the best of it, all of birthdays this year have been in lockdown and mine will be when I'm self isolating so I can't really summon up any angst over Xmas.

Well it’s not ‘ruined’ but I enjoy our usual big Christmas party and it will be the first time in my life I haven’t seen my parents on Christmas Day so it will be different.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be a bit sad about that-it doesn’t mean I think other people are wrong if they prefer a quiet Christmas

I’m looking forward to it for the first time in years. Haven’t seen the in-laws since Feb, woohoo!

Ours is now incredibly complicated due to divorce to start with so yes it has made very tricky, I don't think I should have to choose between my kids and dp's kids (all over 18 but financially dependent).

I'm looking forward to having a quieter, easier Christmas. I'm not even bothered about seeing my parents on Christmas day because they live ten minutes away and we see them all the time.

But I do feel sad that it looks like DMIL won't be with us. She lives alone in another country. We haven't seen her all year. She misses her grandchild and it will be the first Christmas her and DH have had apart. She will probably spend Christmas with her sister's family, and have a nice time, but it is a little sad that she won't be with us.

I can happily do without the Christmas dinner and presents, the bit that matters to me is seeing my family - especially my extended family who I don't get to see too often during the year, so we make a big deal of it at Christmas. Gutted that we won't be able to this year. I'm just hoping I can at least see my dad and brother.

We’ve had Christmas at home, just the two of us. It’s lovely. Some years we visit family and that is usually more stressful. This year it will just be the two of us.

However, when we are usually at home, just the two of us, we’ve been to visit family a few weeks before Christmas and had a meal with them. Which won’t be happening this year. Also, whilst I know Christmas at home is lovely, I’ve not seen my family since February and yes, Christmas at home this year is going to emphasise that fact.

No it won't be ruined, I still have a job and a house, I'm so thankful. Really don't give a shit about Xmas day to be honest, It will be quieter but it's not the end of the world is it.

[quote DumplingsAndStew]@SnuggyBuggy

I do definitely still empathise with those who will be affected by restrictions.
I just wish that thought went both ways and those who don't have a big thing at Christmas weren't told how terrible their christmas is, if that makes sense?[/quote]
We love our Christmas Day for 3 (DH, DD and me). Personally, I wouldn't want to stay in pyjamas all day but each to their own

A big family get together would stress me out though others seem to relish it.

What concerns me is whichever kids aren't able to come will then cause a problem in the future. Between this public forum and me I think we will simply do what's right for the kids, 19-21 year olds need their parents, I'm not leaving them in student houses

Actual Christmas Day id be happy just me, DH and DCs but it’s the family celebrations around it I’d be sad to miss out on

Our Christmas will be the same as always just the four of us. And yes I've already had loads of people complaining to me about how boring it will be just them and their kids- but it's all my dc have ever known.

What I am gutted about is that all the other things we do around Christmas will no longer be on Panto's, theatre, football, trips to see lights, kids Christmas concerts etc. We usually spent a lot of December out doing things

My husband hasn’t seen his family in a year tho. His DM is in her mid-80s now so I think he’ll be pretty gutted not to have Xmas with her because who knows how many she has left?

Could he not have seen her in the summer?

It's each to their own isn't it?
You like a quiet Christmas. I don't.

Every year for my whole life I've had a big multigenerational family Christmas and loved it. If it's just me, DH and the kids then it's the same as every weekend. I can't get excited about that. I can't be arsed to cook a fancy meal for the same 4 (ungrateful) people I cook for every bloody day. I can stay on the sofa in Pjs every weekend. The teenager usually does. I can't see what's special or exciting in that.
But if that's what does it for you then it's no big deal and you can crack on.

The point is that usually people have a choice. If you want a quiet one you can have it every year Covid or not but if you want a big family affair you can't have one this year.

Therefore mine is ruined and yours is fine. I am allowed to be sad about that without it being a judgement of your choices.

@OrangeIsTheNewTwat

Sorry, I know that family dynamics can be hard but I did laugh at Our family are all horrors ❤

I do feel for those who are facing a Christmas unlike any other this year. Please don't think I have sympathy for those in that situation.

I think I'm just trying to say that many people have many different types of Christmas Day, and wish people would acknowledge that. To say "my Christmas will be different" rather than a blanket "Christmas is ruined" would perhaps show a little acknowledgement that, for various reasons, many people don't spend their Christmas any differently, be it through circumstance or choice.

I do wish everyone a Happy Christmas, regardless of how the day/period goes ❤

no - tbh nothing much has been ruined this year for me. This is a benefit of being a bit of a homebod/introvert with a toxic family to avoid. Total lockdown notwithstanding, it's all be pretty much the same...

No, this year it is just DH and I. I alternate Christmas each year with my ex-H and this year it is his turn to have the DC. They will come to me on Boxing day when we will do presents etc. It will be lovely to be just the two of us chilled out all day with no pressure!

For us we normally have 15-20 people with all our cousins and their children round, often my in-laws come and stay with my parents too. This year will be just DH, me and my parents in law (assuming even that is allowed) so will be a lot quieter than normal, but it was our turn to go to DH's parents anyway so it might have panned out this way without covid.