Is anyone else's Christmas not "ruined"?

[DumplingsAndStew]

Constantly reading about how Christmas will be awful due to restrictions on travel and numbers.

A few years ago, we started having Christmas alone at home, just me and the two kids. We take it easy, have a Christmas dinner and stay in pyjamas and just chill out. Its much more manageable for of us (additional needs).
In terms of activities leading up to Christmas, the main thing we do is go out looking at people's light displays, drink hot chocolate, watch movies etc.

But according to most people, our Christmas is awful and unimaginable to them. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Just be the same as any other xmas, family live all over the place.

It will be me, my 2 dds and 2 dogs, then working that night.

We love hosting a big Christmas for friends who are on their own. So it won’t be the same if we have restrictions. It can still be nice though. We’ll make the best of it.

I'm buzzing. DP and my Xmas is normally a week long schlep around the country to family who would be upset if we didn't. It's fun but also exhausting.

We get to spend our first Xmas at home just us and another couple. I have so many plans - the food, the booze, the board games, the silly gifts, more food.

We're going to walk up to an enormous London park and try and play cricket.

I'll miss the occasional Bierkeller and Cmas market mooch but it's no devastating loss.

@PizzzaExpressWoking Christmas can be shit, I get that. Why dont you spend it with your partner, no need to be alone.

Absolutely not! Your Christmas should be just as you prefer it. We all do thing differently.

I’ll be working so it doesn’t bother me! Dh on the other hand will be home alone which makes me sad (he’s not bothered!).

Mine will be fine. Me, DH, the DC. We did this the year before last, much to the chagrin of extended family, and had a really lovely day and none of the stress of hosting, visiting, family tensions, etc. In fact this last week, as the angst on the family xmas present planning WhatsApp has ramped up to frankly ridiculous levels, I have had more than one moment of being glad that we will have xmas on our own this year! That said, my mum is heartbroken and I feel bad for her (not so bad that when she went into full on maryr mode and started saying how she and my dad probably won't exchange gifts or have a tree or order any nice food in because there was no point that it didn't get irritating though).

Why dont you spend it with your partner, no need to be alone.

He's formed a support bubble with his sister who is very ill (MH problems) so unfortunately isn't allowed to see me, and if restrictions are lifted which personally I believe they will be, will be travelling up North to spend Christmas week with his parents.

I know that sounds defeatist and "a problem for every solution" and I'm sorry. userxx I genuinely do appreciate the thought.

I've tried my absolute hardest to be positive and try to "make the best", for months and months. I just can't do it anymore. Life is hard enough without this pressure to "be positive" and constantly being told that if you're not making the best of things it's simply because you're not determined enough.

I've been reading a book about the concept of "toxic positivity" which has been eye-opening. It's okay not to be positive all the time. It's okay to acknowledge when you're unhappy and to acknowledge that things are shit, without pressure to look on the bright side or find a silver lining.

If anything it might be better than usual. Ours is only us at home too but it's looking like DH may not be working depending in what happens next. If he is working it will just be normal.

@DumplingsAndStew

Constantly reading about how Christmas will be awful due to restrictions on travel and numbers.

A few years ago, we started having Christmas alone at home, just me and the two kids. We take it easy, have a Christmas dinner and stay in pyjamas and just chill out. Its much more manageable for of us (additional needs).
In terms of activities leading up to Christmas, the main thing we do is go out looking at people's light displays, drink hot chocolate, watch movies etc.

But according to most people, our Christmas is awful and unimaginable to them. 🤷🏼‍♀️

That's exactly what we do too.

It's lovely,quiet and chilled.No pressure or worries. I love it.

@PizzzaExpressWoking

You sound so bitter hurling vitriol at strangers on a chat forum.

Sorry my entire family being killed was briefly slightly annoying to you.

It's nothing to do with the loss of your family (for which you have my sympathy). It is your vindictiveness that I find disturbing.

I'll be a bit sad if I can't see my parents, sister, BIL and nephews, but it won't ruin Christmas. We'll be perfectly fine and happy if it's just the 4 of us at home. After everything that's happened this year, we're grateful everyone in the family is healthy and well. We can talk on Zoom; it won't be the same, but it's fine.

I do feel for people who'll have a much harder day, for whatever reason.

We rarely go anywhere anyway. MIL usually comes to us, but only for a few hours on Christmas Day anyway. If she can't come this year, we will pack up a dinner for her and DH will take it over, and sit in the garden watching her through the window while she eats it!

She's only a few miles away, so it is fairly easy to accomplish.

Ours isn't - there will be tv, food and dogs to cuddle (perfect)

Upset if I can't go to midnight service on Christmas Eve but given our churches are full of elderly people it wouldn't be a good idea to open

@oneglassandpuzzled

Ah the usual MN failure to appreciate that lots of us have young adult children who would like to come home for Christmas. They may be 22 but they would still like to see us.

I agree, but we will be doing as we have always done on Christmas Day itself.

All our adult children will come home and we will have MIL who needs to be with us. How can you choose one adult child over another?

We probably won't be hosting the extended family get together which is a real shame, as my older brother has dementia and it is worsening...but that is our concession to the rules.

I have a friend with a terminal illness who will be having her large (but immediate) family around her on Xmas Day. Wouldn't you?

We have been very diligent in following the rules, but like others, we will bend them if needed.

There will be none of the usual pre/post Xmas festivities but I will not compromise Christmas Day. I am taking this tack because I have lost faith that those who are dictating the rules will themselves follow them to the letter.

Not ruined as the dc are still excited and will get even more so as it gets closer.

All family o/s so it’s rare to be together given long haul and length of holiday period.

We usually do a big family Christmas which I love but I am happy to do a smaller one so it's not ruined in that sense. However if we can't sort something out with my mum, who lives alone 3 hours away and is clinically extremely vulnerable, she will be spending the holidays alone, as she has been pretty much since March, and I find that pretty devastating

Ours isn't ruined unless restaurants are shut as we just go out for dinner now and over eat then slob about.

Got fed up with feeding everyone else a few years ago.

The great thing for me is I don’t have to spend all Christmas Day at my parents in law with all the in-laws. They all talk over each other , some of the kids are really grating and lastly it’s not my family so don’t want to be there particularly.

I’m genuinely don’t understand what the drama is all about. It is only 1 Christmas! It’s literally just the 2 of us and we’re coping. I haven’t seen any of my family since February as they all live so far. Can’t see partners parents as granny is frail, whether there are restrictions or not she doesn’t need that risk (we both work in healthcare with potentially exposure to COVID-19).

I wish Christmas being “ruined” and was all l had to worry about . It must be nice if that’s your biggest concern

Every year we do a different combination of who we see and who we spend it with. So this year is just another format for us. Definition rely us at home, maybe depending on the rules at the time a few visitors popping in or us popping over to granny's.

there will be absoloutly nothing different about our xmas.

Just the 4 of us at home with decor, a room full of presents and food like always and all that is still allowed.

But no, it's definitely not ruined. Just less choice than usual but many of the main features remain. Decorations, special meal, indulgence, TV, gifts.

I've planned Christmas to be just us for the first time & I've been really looking forward to it. If they lift restrictions then we're going to feel obliged to see family because we've hardly seen them all year. Them lifting restrictions will ruin my Christmas, not save it!

Pizza, I didn't do any of the things you're shouting at me for? As far as I can see neither did anyone else on this thread (admittedly I've not caught up on the latest posts). If people are doing it elsewhere shouldn't it be addressed there?