Help me politely tell someone their gift is awful

[Dollyparton3]

So..... every year my parents spend a not insignificant amount of money on a hamper. Every year the same hamper from the same company contains the same items.

For the last 3 years the hamper itself has gone straight in recycling, the food items have gone into cupboards (I removed 3 packages yesterday that were out of date).

The wine that is included is not to our taste. Hubby and I are big wine lovers and to us this stuff is a bit like flavoured vinegar. I found 4 bottles of the wine untouched yesterday, I don't even think it's the sort of thing we can regift to others in a hurry.

Here's the dilemma. I told my parents very delicately last year that although the hamper was lovely, we didn't make use of half the items throughout the year so we'd really prefer something that the whole family can enjoy this year. Hubby was there when we said it. There was a definite conversation, I also said that some of it wasn't to our taste so it had gone to waste.

Yesterday morning I got a text from the hamper company saying my hamper yet again from them will arrive tomorrow. I'm now making plans to take all the food straight to a food bank.

I'm not a material person as in expectant of gifts but I do get really frustrated with waste. Especially when someone else is spending good money on something we absolutely won't use. Any thoughts on how to approach this?

Why not just ask them for a hamper you would like?! You told them it was lovely last year?

You've tried once to get them to stop, and they've ignored you. I wouldn't bother again. Donate the stuff to local charities, or food banks, or any local organisations you know of who need prizes for raffles. The sweet stuff could be given to any trick or treating kids who come to your door at Halloween (if it's still in date). Could the sausage be used as an ingredient in something else? Maybe add it to a pasta dish? Use the alcohol for cooking with.

except they’re NOT trying to please, are they?

Obviously, from my reply, I feel they are. The OP says she "delicately" told them it wasn't to her and hubby's taste.
Maybe she was too delicate?

If they're spending a "not inconsiderable amount of money" on a hamper, is it likely that the wine is like flavoured vinegar?

If it is, the OP could leave it open for a while (perhaps mixing with a little vinegar to give it a start) and make decent wine vinegar for salad dressings etc

Maybe it is being lazy. In that case, they won't change so pass the hamper on to a charity and forget it.

I just think that if the OP was brought up being able to tell a good wine from "flavoured vinegar" then her parents would know that and send a present accordingly.

We need a link to the specific hamper company if we’re to judge this situation properly.

(Not really, I’m just nosy curious)

I just think that if the OP was brought up being able to tell a good wine from "flavoured vinegar"

Why do you think she was "brought up" to be able to do that? Don't you think it's more likely that her tastes have changed over the years since leaving home?

Actually, it’s perfectly fine to use cheap, vinegary wine to cook with. Many of the dishes like coq au vin that require wine are peasant dishes and wouldn’t have been made with expensive wines. It’s a waste of good wine and more about snobbishness than about flavour. I have this on good authority (Raymond Blanc, one of the best chefs in the country), and I wholeheartedly agree.

But since you won’t be using any of the products, I’d go ahead and bring it to a food bank.

As others have said, it might be a different hamper this year. If not, just donate the items somewhere.

Personally I would give the stuff to a food bank and then have exactly the same conversation that you had with them last year. You can't do anything else really, can you? To re-gift it to them for a birthday would be very rude - far worse than anything they've done.

No one here would eat orange jelly covered in chocolate or boil in the bag sausage either. We like risotto though.

Agree with Ninkanink re using the wine for cooking.

It still sounds better than the hamper I received last year. It had tinned sprouts in it! brownish yellow mush.

Donate the wine to a local bottle stall event
Non-perishable food to a food bank (they won't take the wine)

Or donate the whole hamper to a local event for them to raffle

filka

I'd have used the wine for cooking

If you wouldn't drink it, you shouldn't cook with it...

Ah.
You and the OP and her hubby would get along like a house on fire.

Sorry...

I mean, like a manor in a conflagration.

Ooh, struggling to choose between giving it to a food bank and giving it back to them in June....

(if the PP doesn't collect the Risotto Rice can I have it please?)

There is no polite way to tell someone their gift is shit.

Presumably your parents are getting on a bit, just thank them and donate it to a fete/fair … they would def appreciate it. No need to be rude and ungrateful. They'd probably be terrible hurt.

My kids were always told, however shit the gift, just remember nobody HAS to buy you anything, and they've always been very good at perfecting that 'wow that's amazing' face from quite a young age

I think the food bank idea is a good one. You’re passing on your parents kind gift to someone else.

(It’s not necessarily about cost, though - for all we know the wine is actually expensive, just not to OP’s taste. There are plenty of ‘good’ wines that I and my OH don’t like. I expect the wine has been picked to go nicely with the foods in the hamper, and if it’s italian cuisine then some Italian wines are best had with pasta because they pair nicely but I wouldn’t drink them if it wasn’t with food. In any case, I guess you could gift it back to your parents - the fact that they’re giving it repeatedly probably means they like that sort of thing.)

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn

I just think that if the OP was brought up being able to tell a good wine from "flavoured vinegar"

Why do you think she was "brought up" to be able to do that? Don't you think it's more likely that her tastes have changed over the years since leaving home?

Sorry. I clearly didn't make my point obvious enough.

I suspect she wasn't and that, since marrying hubby, her tastes have changed.

I just feel a bit sad for her parents as - and this is purely my guesswork - they realise her tastes have changed and are spending a "not inconsiderable amount of money" on a hamper that they hope will reach her new standards.

They might be mortified if they realise they don't come close.

A polite reminder that people who use food banks are usually in food poverty too. Risotto rice takes a long time to cook and probably isn't much use. See also dried pulses, etc.

You have children and they don't eat biscuits or sweets? Ever? And in the course of a year you don't make a risotto or rice pudding? And the red wine isn't good enough to cook with or mull for Christmas or take to a party? Do you cook at all?

I suspect I know why your parents have resorted to a hamper. You sound difficult to please and my guess is that nothing your parents give you would be right. This way they don't waste time looking for something they hope is ideal only to have it rejected as 'not my taste'.

The people showing poor manners here are OP’s parents.

Find a hamper you do like, ideally from the same company as they probably like the convenience, and ask specifically for that one.

Sorry but you are running the risk of sounding quite entitled here.
You are lucky to have the luxury of throwing good food in the bin. Giving to a food bank is a good idea if you don't like the contents.
Personally I would find it easier to distribute unwanted food than to tell them I don't like the hamper.
You could also invite some friends round, and stick as much of it as you can on a buffet table and hope you have friends who like orange chocolates and pickles.

Another one here who is desperate to know the exact contents - what is this wine which is too horrible to drink? Italian wine sounds good to me, to go with the risotto and sweets. If you don’t like Italian themed why don’t you ask if you can have a different one from the same company that you do like?

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett

A polite reminder that people who use food banks are usually in food poverty too. Risotto rice takes a long time to cook and probably isn't much use. See also dried pulses, etc.

That is a really good point.
It's only fairly recently that I realised (check my privilege ) that people may have only and possibly limited access to a single ring or a microwave oven.

Donate it to a food bank or regift it to someonel ess fussy. It wouldn't last long in my house, even if we used the wine to clean the loo with (joking).