Help me politely tell someone their gift is awful

[Dollyparton3]

So..... every year my parents spend a not insignificant amount of money on a hamper. Every year the same hamper from the same company contains the same items.

For the last 3 years the hamper itself has gone straight in recycling, the food items have gone into cupboards (I removed 3 packages yesterday that were out of date).

The wine that is included is not to our taste. Hubby and I are big wine lovers and to us this stuff is a bit like flavoured vinegar. I found 4 bottles of the wine untouched yesterday, I don't even think it's the sort of thing we can regift to others in a hurry.

Here's the dilemma. I told my parents very delicately last year that although the hamper was lovely, we didn't make use of half the items throughout the year so we'd really prefer something that the whole family can enjoy this year. Hubby was there when we said it. There was a definite conversation, I also said that some of it wasn't to our taste so it had gone to waste.

Yesterday morning I got a text from the hamper company saying my hamper yet again from them will arrive tomorrow. I'm now making plans to take all the food straight to a food bank.

I'm not a material person as in expectant of gifts but I do get really frustrated with waste. Especially when someone else is spending good money on something we absolutely won't use. Any thoughts on how to approach this?

Stilton and Christmas cake go very well together so I could see panettone working nicely too.

mince pies, a fruit cake, cheese crackers, truffle chocolates, pannetone and white choc and cranberry biscuits

This is the good hamper for a family where nobody likes sweet stuff to the extent the children have unopened sweets in their rooms long after receiving them?

I'm not a fan of hampers as they nearly always generate a degree of waste but I'm bemused by the "no sweet tooth" family considering that list of sweet products to be the good hamper.

That sounds like a Giordano hamper OP. If it is then I am with you as far as the foods are concerned. I love Italian foods and would use rice and pasta but I don't much like the other speciality foods that they include. I do like their wines though!

What on earth is 'gift forward'?

Cheap wine is perfectly good for cooking.

I received a hamper last week, someone had ordered it for me from Amazon. No booze in it but plenty of food stuffs. Being as I'm on my own I won't use (&don't like), quite a lot of it but what I did was put aside things I do like (some eaten already), and gave the rest to my son because he entertains a lot and likes all sorts of things. If he has a party he can put things on the table for people to help themselves. He was pleased.

Hampers always contain things people don't want but there really is no need to ungracious about it because there will be a few items we do like and we can give away the rest.

Still can't get my head around why anyone wouldn't use rice but there we are.

Cheese selections are excellent, cheese and wine also make a good gift. Obscure pickles and chutneys look very nice in their jars but often don't taste all that well, certainly less flavour than your average Branston so I would avoid that sort of thing.

Something really good to send through is a Christmas flower arrangement or a Christmassy plant. I've often done that and people have always been delighted. You can often add an option of chocolates or wine. I know it's an easy option in some ways but it is difficult to choose presents for many people, especially if they live far and you don't see them very often.

It’s not necessarily cheap wine, it’s just not to OPs taste.

Can you discreetly phone the hamper company and ask them to redirect the hamper to a food bank?

Goodness me, this is one of the worst posts I’ve read on mumsnet.

Just suck it up or give it away. You ungrateful people

I agree with Teaandcake 1000, above!

I hear all the people saying I'm an entitled madam, but none of the wine is to our taste. I think the strategy is to start seeding ideas next year for what we do love.

Or just accept that the hamper won't be what you want and get over yourself. One day your parents won't be around to give any gifts - accept what they choose with grace rather than being so grabby, snobby and unpleasant

Yes this 100%

For goodness sake - she's not ungrateful - she doesn't want people to waste their hard earned money on something expensive.

I dont think things like "artichoke sauce" (is that sauce made from artichokes or to go on artichokes?) will be useful to the food bank. If you dont want to eat it and dont know how to use it, what makes you think anyone else would!?

My mother used to do this, exactly this, Italian wines, rice, some very weird meat, nasty bowls, odd shaped pasta. Nobody I offers the wine to would drink it, it was awful. I also have out of date bags of risotto rice and vermicelli in my cupboards. I also told her I love wine hampers and prefer French or Spanish wines but they kept on coming for five years.
Now my mum is in a resi home so when she asked to go shopping for an xmas gift for me, I took her to majestic wine and for the first time in years I have a gift from my mum that I actually like.
You have my sympathy. Are they Giordano hampers by any chance?

I've just rtt I can see someone else has experienced a Giordano hamper. They are truly awful. I know it sounds ungrateful but the good is inedible and I would pity the recipients at a food bank if they ended up with it.

For goodness sake - she's not ungrateful - she doesn't want people to waste their hard earned money on something expensive.

But the point is it's THEIR money and they can buy what they want with it

We might not agree with what other people spend their money on or the gifts they give, but its none of our damn business

Yes!! It is the Giordano hamper. Thank god some others agree with me on this one

"Or just accept that the hamper won't be what you want and get over yourself. One day your parents won't be around to give any gifts - accept what they choose with grace rather than being so grabby, snobby and unpleasant" given the choice I'd rather they didn't get me anything so that I don't have the guilt of trying to find a home for an unsuitable present.

I don't think that's grabby or unpleasant.

Given the choice I'd rather they didn't get me anything so that I don't have the guilt of trying to find a home for an unsuitable present. I don't think that's grabby or unpleasant.

It is unpleasant though OP. The terrible guilt at having to get rid of a present that you don't like must be such a burden for you.

Baffling

*given the choice I'd rather they didn't get me anything so that I don't have the guilt of trying to find a home for an unsuitable present.

I don't think that's grabby or unpleasant.*

Really? Maybe it's just fucking unkind, then? Your poor poor parents.

It is not “ducking unkind” not to want your old parents to waste more than £100 in a gift they have not realised is that bad.

This reminds me of my mother paying a stupid amount of money for a bad quality item she thought I wanted but couldn’t afford (I insisted I didn’t want it because it was dreadful but my mother assumed it was because of the price and insisted in getting it against my wishes).

I felt she had been taken advantage off BIG TIME on my behalf, and resentful of having to keep the thing around not to offend her.

Buck the autocorrect, doesn’t even allow me to swear properly!

Tell them just before Christmas. Not to far in advance incase they forget. You really don't want a hamper please. As you do not use it. X

Wow. You and 'hubby' really should just be grateful that you have people that love you and buy you something they think is special at Christmas. Lots of people don't have that,

You've changed your tune. In earlier posts I think I remember that you were talking about giving it back to them for birthdays? That's really not nice.