Help me politely tell someone their gift is awful

[Dollyparton3]

So..... every year my parents spend a not insignificant amount of money on a hamper. Every year the same hamper from the same company contains the same items.

For the last 3 years the hamper itself has gone straight in recycling, the food items have gone into cupboards (I removed 3 packages yesterday that were out of date).

The wine that is included is not to our taste. Hubby and I are big wine lovers and to us this stuff is a bit like flavoured vinegar. I found 4 bottles of the wine untouched yesterday, I don't even think it's the sort of thing we can regift to others in a hurry.

Here's the dilemma. I told my parents very delicately last year that although the hamper was lovely, we didn't make use of half the items throughout the year so we'd really prefer something that the whole family can enjoy this year. Hubby was there when we said it. There was a definite conversation, I also said that some of it wasn't to our taste so it had gone to waste.

Yesterday morning I got a text from the hamper company saying my hamper yet again from them will arrive tomorrow. I'm now making plans to take all the food straight to a food bank.

I'm not a material person as in expectant of gifts but I do get really frustrated with waste. Especially when someone else is spending good money on something we absolutely won't use. Any thoughts on how to approach this?

@LaMarschallin to me it sounds the other way round as the italian hamper with Rissoto rice sounds like a nice hamper to me! The wine is probably Poggio alle Corte 1998 but the OP prefers a nice oaked Chardonnay or Blun Nun..

If it is that hamper that SegregateMumBev linked to then it's not suitable for a food bank donation.

“ am returning all unwanted gifts this year, it’s empowering.”
Good idea. You wonMt be bothered with social interactions ever again. So empowering!

Next year could you say something like "I know you usually buy us a lovely hamper but we really fancy XX I can give you details if you like". If you think this would damage relations then don't bother and just re-gift it, but it might help. My parents are too old to go shopping so I organise all gifts they give, maybe they just feel overwhelmed and they think the hamper settles the problem.

DingDongSchadenfreudeOnHigh

People in bed and breakfast are often lucky if they have access to a kettle

It's bloody disgusting that there are tens of thousands living in poverty like this in a country as rich as ours.

Honestly, I do know. I also took note of a PP that said that people who use food banks sometimes have access to ovens etc

I've only recently started working with a local foodbank and have realised that things like cup-a-soups, instant hot chocolate and pot noodles aren't patronising but necessary.

I guess you just do and give what you can.

They may have got you a different hamper and actual listened. Unlikely tho. The amount of times I have had to say "it's great quality but not my taste" or similar to my grandma is ridiculous.

If its the Fortnum & Mason hamper I feel your pain. I can't see anyone at the foodbank enjoying charcoal and cumin crackers tbh. Do what we do and sell them on. I keep the baskets and the tasty bits and sell everything else.

Over the years I've had many food gifts that weren't to my taste.

I've always found a way of reusing everything ... e.g. take the wine to a party or donate to a school raffle if it's not good enough for you, regift pickles, biscuits etc as dinner party gifts.

And risotto rice never goes off! It's not very hard to make a nice risotto ...

We decided last year we would only do gifts for kids in our family - for environmental and ethical reasons - it gets around the issue of being given something you don't want too.

@LaMarschallin

Spot on

I think you sound snobbish and very ungrateful. Just accept the gift with grace and there must be someone you know who will use and enjoy the items or you can donate them. I can understand not liking everything in a hamper but not all of it. But I can't understand why you'd why you'd hurt your parents. I assume the talk of sending it back later was a joke - no-one would want to be that unkind.

a bit of a cheeky Christmas late night feast

Off topic - but what is meant by 'cheeky'? I see it in the context of having a 'cheeky' Nando's

Also - since when are crackers and cheese a feast?

I got my godmother a hamper from M&S this year. She’s difficult to buy for and an ungrateful cow to boot. So thought I’d just go the hamper route since she won’t like it anyway.

I can just picture the boil in the bag sausage! Traditional Italian New Years Eve dinner, served with lentils.

Donate the wine to a tombola/school fair
Rice, pickles, and biscuits are all fine to give to the food bank.
Not sure what to do about the sausage though - ask any 'foody' friends if they fancy it?

It justa looks a bit silly spending so much time and effort rehoming the hampster.

Send your parents back with the bottles of wine and in the rest.

I don't like rice either, haven't cooked it in years.

I'll have the pickles though.

Are you going to any parties around new year? I'd gift it to the host if you are or give it to the school to raffle off

I’ll take the sausage! Sounds amazing

Cook the sausage and make an amazing casserole with lentils and spinach. You can use the red wine in that as well.

Fair enough not to like rice, but I struggle to believe that none of you know someone who does like rice/risotto to whom you could give your unwanted risotto rice. I hate to think of usable food being thrown away.

I'd love an Italian sausage with lentils and a lovely rich tomato sauce.

Re cheeky - to me it suggests 'Oooh that would be really naughty, we really shouldn't, think of the calories ... oh go on then, let's be devils...' Arch is the word coming to mind.

I wondered if it was Carluccio's too: they do chocolate-coated clementines which might be the despised chocolate coated orange jellies.

I don’t know why the OPs getting such a hard time. No wonder she hasn’t come back. She said they spend a lot of money on something that is wasted. I’d hate my parents to keep spending their hard earned money on this. Next year can you preempt this by suggesting something else they can easily order online, a plant or flowers or something. Keep saying how much you’d love this (cheaper) gift.

Thanks, @Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g - that would make sense (though not in the context of cheese and crackers )

A lot of food banks won't take anything containing alcohol. Give the hamper to a charity so they can raffle it and make some money from it. I've seen hampers, etc in charity shops raffles. If you must say something you can always tell your parents you gave it to a good cause and they raised x amount.

Donate it to raffle/tombola for prizes, give away to friends, food bank, there's so many ways to ensure it gets used.

You've already had the hamper convo. Just be gracious, accept what you're given and think yourself very very lucky.

I'm guessing the OP won't be back.. she's obviously popped off to Aldi to get her family a cheeky feast of turkey twizzlers, crisps and crackers which will be washed down with a nice bottle of fizzy pop.

(I'd love to receive a gorgeous hamper of italian goodies, it sounds very much like the very expensive Carluccio's one).

“ I can't see anyone at the foodbank enjoying charcoal and cumin crackers tbh.“
Nah- own brand cream crackers are good enough for them...