A Christmas begging thread from an Amazon driver

[SeasonallySnowyPeasant]

Please:

• Clearly number your house.
• Have a letterbox.
• Don’t moan at me when I ask for ID. We get mystery shopper-checked and if I don’t ask I could lose my job.
• Adjust your safe place settings if you know you’ll be out so I don’t have to take your parcel 30 miles back to the depot after my shift (unpaid).
• If you live in a mansion with electric gates, have no neighbours and are never home to receive parcels, get a wall-mounted parcel box.
• Don’t complain that it’s really late when you ordered something for same-day delivery between 6-10pm and it’s 9.45.

In return, I will:

• Not throw your parcel or leave it in a stupid place where it will get soaking wet, nicked or taken away by the bin men.
• Leave a ‘sorry you were out card’ to tell you where to find said parcel.
• Not moan when you order the heaviest presents known to mankind, live at the top of a block of flats laid out like a maze with no working lift.
• Not laugh when you answer the door in your underwear.

Season’s greetings!

Could you give me more than 5 seconds after ringing the bell to actually answer the door?

THIS

yesterday i heard the bell, jumped out of bed and dressing-gowned, went down two sets of stairs and as i'm stood outside the door in bare feet yelling and waving there's the dude in his van munching a sandwich then driving off.

it was only when i checked the order and saw it as "handed to resident" i did the bin-search, and he'd tucked it in a relatively sensible place behind a plant pot (assuming waterproof packaging and product, which it was). no card.

it wasn't a present though, it was sealant tape to try to fix my fridge so non-delivery was a bigger deal.

our royal mail people are lovely and know i often have to come down from the top of the house and allow time. my yodel dude goes above and beyond with a weekly food delivery, he's the best :)

Can I add please don't get pissy with me because my house only has a name and not a number. It's clearly labelled but it's hard to find - I have tried my best!

I’m obviously not blaming the “people that occasionally need to wee” (aka everyone) I am just saying people could be a little understanding when the courier knocks and attempts to leave quicker than other couriers might.

My Amazon arrived last night I’m in a bungalow and I literally was by the door- when I opened he was already looking for a safe place. Must be under so much pressure to meet deadlines.

@Khione sorry about your aunt. But he was just making a joke. Can't people make jokes these days without causing some kind of offense or 'possibly' 'maybe' saying something that might offend? Don't be that person.

I have an enclosed safe porch but also a lot of steps (sorry)

Love the amazon drivers. My postman is a living legend too.

My Amazon deliveries are always just popped in the 'enclosed front porch'.
Or, they say 'Handed to the resident's definitely not sunshine, I was 150 miles away.
We've had one parcel go amiss this xmas and Amazon were fab at sorting it out. :)

Perhaps people should start using the alternatives more (as offered on the Amazon website) such as the local post office, Amazon lockers at supermarkets/shopping centres etc. to avoid the problem of not being in when the driver arrives.

My Amazon delivery driver is a legend, he knows our names and was whispering when he made a delivery at 8.45 or so last night as he knew our DS would be in bed.

The royal mail, however, has one battleaxe that drives over our lawn and leaves notes saying it's too icy to get to our safeplace (even though she managed to make it to the door). Or leaving 'sorry you are out' notes without even knocking.

Please: - Clearly number your house.

Please, clearly read the label. I'm at 12a and have a very large brass number plate on the door, you can't miss it. There's also a 12 and a 12b, also with numbers on the doors. As it's a conversion, 12's door faces the road, 12a is down a drive to one side and 12b is down a drive to the other.

So why do the delivery drivers get confused and leave a "while you were out" card in 12's letterbox when the parcel was for me and I was in all day waiting? I've even put an extra line on the address default in Amazon "12a is down the right hand drive" so the lines are:-

Kazzy Howard
12a Any Road
(12a is down the right hand drive)
Any Town
NE1 1AB

There isn't an "a" on 12's door, so why would a delivery driver assume it was 12a. Doesn't make any sense. Why don't they read the label?

Once the guy came down my drive and knocked on my door to ask if I'd take a parcel in for my neighbour. It was actually a parcel for me. Had my house number on the label, the same house number as fixed to my door, but the delivery guy had been knocking at my neighbour - with a different house number on their door. I sometimes wonder if they can actually read?

I use the lockers mostly but the three closest to us are completely full atm so wont let you pick them at the checkout. Good idea the rest of the year though.

In return, I will:

• Not throw your parcel or leave it in a stupid place where it will get soaking wet, nicked or taken away by the bin men

You said those words. They're horrible.

You make a special thing about you being Amazon, and you're not special amongst drivers at all.

I hear all sorts of horror stories, as demonstrated here.

Coming here and telling everyone how to be a good parcel recipient ffs ... Get another job, this one obviously doesn't suit you!

Amazon can be totally shit and not give a damn about peoples property.

That you would even mention leaving it in the rain, or out somewhere it can be stolen needs you reporting, becauae this does happen and its not bloody funny.

Bossy.

Royal mail are professionals by comparison.

ODFOD

@EvaHarknessRose I actually really like steps. Brilliant for my step count

To those wondering about quantities, pay etc. I’m self-employed on Amazon Flex so this is how it works:

1. I downloaded the Amazon Flex app and applied to be a driver. Then went through drivers licence and DBS checks before I got approved.

2. I can set my availability on a calendar on the app and supposedly will get offered blocks of 1-4 hours for those times. In practice, this very rarely happens. What actually happens is that I have to check the app regularly to see if there are any blocks available, usually the same day. Everyone is doing the same thing so the blocks go like lightning and I can be constantly refreshing for hours with no luck. Right now it’s really busy so there’s more likelihood of getting a block. It’s £13 an hour for between 1-4 hours, which seems like I lot until you work in the cost of petrol, the mileage on my car and increased insurance premiums for adding on business use.

3. I arrive at the depot and get randomly assigned a route based on the block length I’ve signed up for. This is why you quite often don’t get the same delivery person as we don’t work set days, times or routes.

4. The longer routes have about 30 stops. It’s not like Royal Mail where all the stops are next to each other. I can easily cover 50 miles on the really horrible ones. It’s usually manageable within the timeframe but on not on the routes with lots of delays caused by the problems in my OP.

5. The app has a built in satnav and it’s pretty good at pinpointing the exact house but it doesn’t work in areas with no phone signal and sometimes it’s wrong.

Flex drivers usually do the smaller parcels. Larger ones are given to the van drivers, who will be out delivering all day in a van they hire from Amazon. They’re the ones with hundreds of parcels Tetris-ed in and very little time for each one.

Very interesting, OP and helpful for anyone searching the web thinking of applying to become a driver. I hope you make lots of cash over this busy period!

So are you now recruiting for Amazon..blimey what is this thread?

Royal mail are professionals by comparison.

That depends on the person (and branch manager), not the organisation. We went through a stage where the postie would leave a "while you were out" card without knocking, and I even chased after her once only to be told she didn't actually have the parcel with her as she assumed I'd be out!

We also had a period where they didn't deliver normal post/parcels on Thursdays - just the special delivery items only.

And items "signed for" which weren't - i.e. "signed for" letters through our door which we didn't sign.

Generally, they're no better, no worse than other couriers. Some are good, some are bad, just like any organisation. I've also found their complaints/customer service dept to be just as useless/unhelpful as other courier firms too!

Shame you got an off postie.

Amazon otoh have many like this

In fact I am surprised that Amazon have any custom considering the wank they sell,and the lack of service.

They used to be ok, but they've rapidly dropped off in every way.

You can rate every seller on there, but try rating amazon and they won't put your review up . Fucking dicks

They have appalling customer service, or should i say non-existent. No, worse than that.

They are destroying free market.

amazon offer a choice and often price that high street retailers can’t/won’t match
Numerous occasions I have purchased items cheaper on amazon and for next day delivery that high st stores cannot offer
You have choice to use or not use amazon,if you ideologically don’t like their business model don’t shop with them
Personally I love amazon and they are my go to retailer.

So are you now recruiting for Amazon..blimey what is this thread?

Well, if it were, you’re certainly doing your damndest to put a stop to it.
Don’t like Amazon ? Don’t use them. It really is that simple.

Jesus - lady puts post up about her part time job, people ask how it works, OP explains, then people jump on and accuse her of advertising!

Thanks OP, I found the description interesting, and can honestly say our house is perfect on every point bar the lock box, which I'm sorting this week as it happens!

Our local Amazon deliveries are always problem free. Our postie on the other hand is a nightmare. He knocks with a feather and fucks off down the path 3 seconds later.

amazon offer a choice and often price that high street retailers can’t/won’t match

For me it's not so much price - it's about getting what you actually want. Shops starting going massively downhill about 20 years ago when the chains took over the high street and caused all the smaller/specialist/independents to close down. The chains never had the same range of goods, choice nor quality of customer service. The whole retail market was ripe for someone like Amazon to come in and take a huge share. I remember people complaining about the identikit high streets back in the 90s - that was before the internet/Amazon grew. I remember the small/independent shops stuffed full with stock in every conceivable nook and cranny, every corner, shelves to the ceiling, even stuff hanging from the ceilings. They were the days when you could go in and almost certainly get exactly what you wanted. The chains put paid to all that, not helped by staff who either don't care or don't have a clue. Amazon appeared at the right time, right place, and have taken advantage of the crap state of retail.

@CornishPorsche

Person. One ridiculous person thankfully

@UAbsolute ah yes, I missed they were all the same poster.