A Christmas begging thread from an Amazon driver

[SeasonallySnowyPeasant]

Please:

• Clearly number your house.
• Have a letterbox.
• Don’t moan at me when I ask for ID. We get mystery shopper-checked and if I don’t ask I could lose my job.
• Adjust your safe place settings if you know you’ll be out so I don’t have to take your parcel 30 miles back to the depot after my shift (unpaid).
• If you live in a mansion with electric gates, have no neighbours and are never home to receive parcels, get a wall-mounted parcel box.
• Don’t complain that it’s really late when you ordered something for same-day delivery between 6-10pm and it’s 9.45.

In return, I will:

• Not throw your parcel or leave it in a stupid place where it will get soaking wet, nicked or taken away by the bin men.
• Leave a ‘sorry you were out card’ to tell you where to find said parcel.
• Not moan when you order the heaviest presents known to mankind, live at the top of a block of flats laid out like a maze with no working lift.
• Not laugh when you answer the door in your underwear.

Season’s greetings!

Most drivers are brilliant and this isn't quite the same but

My 'occasional' wine delivery came at the last minute of his delivery slot and the priest, who was there about my aunt's funeral, came a few minutes early therefore arriving at the same time.

'Christmas wine delivery' I announced brightly to the priest to which the delivery driver replied 'Don't you believe it vicar, I bring this lot at least once a week'.

OK, I found it amusing as I really don't give a toss and though I know the priest through my aunt (and late Mum), I am not remotely religious BUT the driver didn't fucking know that and it could have been very embarrassing.

My lovely delivery husband and wife work like demons, always leave parcels in be same place and always check I got them next time they call.

They also do Hermes, DPD is good, always Eric, UPS not bad always last slot of the day.

DHL and Parcelforce utter shite. Don’t call or leave a card even when in and leave parcel 10 miles away.

I try and make sure im in actually always am but i cant leave a safe place option as there isnt one-if theres an amergency not alot i can do
hope you have a good week and not too stressful

I hand delivered a few cards to neighbours and wondered, yet again, how they get anything delivered with weirdly small letterboxes - about 4 inches wide. The only things that could possibly fit through were standard (DL? ) long thin envelopes - I had to bend the not very large cards to get through. And last week got frustrated at trying to find a number on the door - or gate, or anything , when going to an acquaintance’s house I had not visited before - and none of the houses around had numbers either that we could use as reference !

Frustrating for me, but I wasn’t trying to deliver things on time for a job - you drivers must go nuts.

We have narrow streets around here and I bet the car beepers who are cross with a small wait whiist the delivery driver nips in to the doorway are also users of delivery services.

We don't have Amazon delivery men where I live. It comes UPS or if it's really huge via FedX freight. Never been ID'd though and we order ammo. I love our UPS guy, he always has a dog treat for our dogs.

Amazon drivers are the real heroes!

I have prime most of my deliveries are weekend,so someone is in
Love the convenience of amazon prime

I order gin and am often out. Delivery drivers always ID my teens, as they should do.
Luckily one is 18 and can be trusted to not drink it before I get home.

Hope that this busy period goes well for you and that you are being treated well as a (hopefully unionised!) employee, you do an incredibly tough job.

All of our delivery guys are great. My business is half a mile from home and on the same delivery route. If I'm not at home they bring them to work and vice versa.

They are always cheerful and we take in packages for anyone in the street either at home or work.

We give them all a gift at Christmas to say thank you.

Our Amazon driver is a lovely chap I knew he was on holiday when I returned to find a four foot tall parcel on the door step with the door mat on top of it ! Took a picture to show him on his return - oh how we laughed ! I love it when one of the other companies lets my porch sign for things. The shed signed once too !

Anyway the delivery was dropped just after 9am and left on the doorstep

Yeah this is happening round here as well. Just left on the doorstep. How many stops are Amazon drivers getting per day atm OP out of interest?

Dear Amazon drivers, do all of the following and we’ll be friends:

• at least try and knock on the door or ring the bell when delivering a parcel. Sprinting across my lawn and lobbing the parcel in the porch is just not the same.

• but well done to the drivers that correctly identify the porch as my designated safe place and at least leave the parcel there instead of in the garage, the Wendy house, the greenhouse, the log store, by the bins, on the patio table, on the path in the rain, on top of the garage (it’s a 2 storey building so wtf?!,) on the trailer or under the trailer. It’s like a regular game of ‘where did they leave my parcel?’ round here much of the time.

• if you do manage to ring the bell and I answer, start your sentence with ‘hello,’ not ‘you need to get a sign up on your road, mate.’ It’s a private road and it has no name anyway, and the lord of the manor (not me!) specifically requests that no signs are put up on any of the roads on his estate. So I can’t. But there are only 4 homes in our postcode and they are all down the same road so it shouldn’t be beyond your ability to find us. We do have 3 signs up with our house name on, one on each gate and one on the front of the house, so anyone saying we don’t have a name sign up will be shown all 3 of them and asked when they last had their eyesight tested.

• last but not least, please try to avoid damaging the place, but if you do manage to drive your van through a building causing thousands of pounds of damage, at least 1. don’t pretend you don’t have any insurance because you don’t need it, 2. Don’t get your mate to pick you up leaving the van behind for days and 3. get Amazon to apologise and fix it without it taking 8 months of threats of legal action. Also don’t drive on the lawn, there’s loads of space to stop your van without spinning your wheels churning up mud.

You might laugh and say ‘surely none of the above would ever happen,’ but sadly I have plenty of first hand experience of all of it. I would love a regular Amazon driver but we seem to get a different one each time. Other delivery companies use regular drivers and they know where we are and where is a good place to leave items, but there’s no consistency with Amazon.

I get loads of deliveries and have never had a problem with any of the delivery companies. I’m always amazed how hard they work. 💪🏻💪🏻

My amazon driver is awesome. Leaves parcels in my shed, and a little note.

We have a lovely Amazon lady, a lovely DPD man, and a lovely Hermes man who looks a bit like what Elvis would have looked like in his early 60s. All super helpful. And then we have one occasional Amazon guy who batters the shit out of the door, bailiff-style. It's genuinely quite scary and I'm not someone who is prone to hysterics.

Anyway. Good luck with the rest of the Christmas deliveries, hope it's not too stressful and people are not arseholes!

You deserve one if these.

Thank you for making the effort. Everyone at my office gets stuff delivered there. I think its really rude to order things when you know you’ll be kut when theyre due fir delivery.

Have to say though that UPS are excellent. Hermes on the other hand stole my shoes.

I love Amazon.

I've bought 90% of my Christmas gifts from the warmth of my own home.

My driver is lovely too.

I know the delivery drivers are doing their best, of course, but if the delivery slot I'm given is 3-5 days from now, 7-8 delivery, then there are inevitably times I'm not going to be straight to the door

There is an amazon drop box thingy at my local petrol station. I get my parcel when convenient (usually about 1am on my way home from the pub), and its safe, quick and easy for both me and the driver. I never get parcels delivered to home anymore!

And I've just re read that post.....
I run a pub so am on my way home from work when I collect, not on the lash :o

And I've just re read that post.....
I run a pub so am on my way home from work when I collect, not on the lash grin

’Adjust your safe place settings if you know you’ll be out so I don’t have to take your parcel 30 miles back to the depot after my shift (unpaid)’

How is that legal? That’s appalling. It’s a shame Labour are too busy talking about 4 day weeks and picking their next far-left, unelectable leader to actually do something about unfair working practices.

My amazon packages seem to be delivered by the post-person. The lady this morning was very reasonable when I opened the window instead of the door as I was trying to stop the (sick) cat escaping!

Probably not the same post-person who, only last week, left a card in my letter box saying my non-amazon) parcel was at a local collection point. Only it wasn't. Cue a wild goose chase round all the local collection places before I found it 🙄

GreyHare forget about waiting for your delivery, go on the Amazon help chat instead, they’ll refund and, if you want, re-order the items for you if they are still in stock. I had that happen once and it was sorted in 10 minutes. Parcels will get lost on rare occasions and it’s quicker to re-order.
I often use the Amazon lockers depending on the size of what I order - it’s great!
Super thread OP, you guys are great!
And the drivers from other companies are also great. I really couldn’t fault them.
We lived in a village years ago and we’d leave the front door unlocked if we were at home. The postman would put the post inside the house on the side table for us, and sometimes he’d drop by more than once a day when we had lots of post (usually around birthdays with presents) - he was amazing.
I can’t believe the post where Amazon delivery drivers are expected to walk 200m with a parcel - you do realise they are timed and need to do x drops per hour within a certain area and they are on a very, very tight schedule and work very hard.