A Christmas begging thread from an Amazon driver

[SeasonallySnowyPeasant]

Please:

• Clearly number your house.
• Have a letterbox.
• Don’t moan at me when I ask for ID. We get mystery shopper-checked and if I don’t ask I could lose my job.
• Adjust your safe place settings if you know you’ll be out so I don’t have to take your parcel 30 miles back to the depot after my shift (unpaid).
• If you live in a mansion with electric gates, have no neighbours and are never home to receive parcels, get a wall-mounted parcel box.
• Don’t complain that it’s really late when you ordered something for same-day delivery between 6-10pm and it’s 9.45.

In return, I will:

• Not throw your parcel or leave it in a stupid place where it will get soaking wet, nicked or taken away by the bin men.
• Leave a ‘sorry you were out card’ to tell you where to find said parcel.
• Not moan when you order the heaviest presents known to mankind, live at the top of a block of flats laid out like a maze with no working lift.
• Not laugh when you answer the door in your underwear.

Season’s greetings!

We have the best delivery drivers in my area and I've been ordering like crazy from Amazon this year. Because the couriers are so great, I always make sure I am either in, have a safe space or my neighbour is asked to watch out for deliveries. I will even be cool and take any and all neighbours parcels if they're not in (we don't have CFers ordering to mine).
One driver last week saw me and my kids approaching, coming home from the school run (neighbour was watching for my delivery) and he hid the parcels behind him and gave me time to shut the kids away in their room so they couldn't see the clearly labelled bike he was dropping off. He even helped carry it into the shed so it remained hidden. Nice chap.

I also have a Blink XT2 CCTV camera and just last week was able to see a delivery driver trying to deliver next door and then try mine when he found they weren't in. As I was just a couple of minutes away I told the driver through the CCTV two way speaker to leave it on the step and I'd take it round when neighbour was home. Saved him a frustrating return to depot.

I have a safe place stated and normally they are left there fine. On Monday they were thrown over the gate and got soaked in torrential rain. We only seem to have issues with Amazon at this time of year. Hermes are great too after I complained once when I hadnt locked the door and a parcel mysteriously ended up on my dining room table.

Can I add to your “in return I will never”
Illegally block a public road because I can’t be arsed to park my car 200 meters up the road in the many available parking spaces and instead will just leave my car blocking a road (in both directions) not giving a shiny fuck?

Seriously? You expect the driver to park 200m away from your house? That's a long way to have to carry a parcel if it's large, and wastes precious minutes that are not factored in to delivery times.

I don't use the safe place on Amazon, because you have to choose from a drop-down menu, which doesn't cover where I want my parcel left.

@ArtieFufkinPolymerRecords you can add a note to the driver to say where you want it left.

The delivery people around here have been/are great.

But the
In return, I will:

Is basically your job.

Thank you for all you do. Amazon has saved my Christmas this year, work has been crazy and I’ve had zero time to shop irl.

I agree but was trying to forestall the posters jumping on to complain about those exact things.

And it’s a legal requirement to number your house.

How can you tell when people are pretending they are not in?

OP, all my Amazon drivers are fab, are happy to leave my parcels tucked behind a plant pot where it's dry, or deliver next door. Never had a single problem. Thank you, Merry Christmas, and I wish they paid you more.

My Hermes driver is always the same bloke, and he's lovely too.

for you - but not while you're driving obvs

I have a letterbox, but it's usually got a completely mental nutter of a cat just on the inside of it.

My usual Amazon driver goes for a frisbee style throw... safest all round tbh

I'd also add, please have a doorbell that works or a decent knocker. If there is nothing, it's a total pain and you don't know I'm thers.

@OhioOhioOhio because I can see them! Usually sitting watching TV or eating dinner.

I love my amazon driver, and I always take in for anyone on the cul de sac (as do my neighbours) it's naice round here !

@YesItsMeIDontCare I used to do a paper round as a younger teen. At one house the dog would grab the paper as soon as one end was through the letterbox and then savage it to pieces. Every week. I still had to deliver there!

Seriously? You expect the driver to park 200m away from your house? That's a long way to have to carry a parcel if it's large, and wastes precious minutes that are not factored in to delivery times

People dont understand if they haven't had any experience of it, they think drivers have all the time in the world. If husband's 50 minutes into his hour window he has no problems blocking the road.

Hats off to you OP. My house is like a depot at times as all the drivers know I'll take in their parcels if neighbours aren't in.

I am currently hating my amazon driver, sorry, but I have been waiting since Sunday for a parcel which is supposedly out for delivery, then unexpectedly delayed, every day since, but apparently they attempted delivery this evening and there was no where safe, even though I was in, we have a locked post box on the gate plus a enclosed porch, and two dogs that bark at a sparrow farting in the garden, let alone a van pulling up and have never had an issue in ten years delivering to me, grrrrr.

I love my Hermes driver though he always turns up around the same time, he leaves my parcel in the porch for me and picks up parcels as and when arranged, love, love love him, I am annoyed that many places stopped using Hermes.

Thank you for all your hard work, especially at Xmas! I don’t envy you your job.

Oh goodness, what a hard job you have, especially at this time of year. I don't buy from Amazon, but I feel for you.

Thanks OP. Your thread just made me check my delivery instructions on my account as I not going to be in for some of tomorrow. I selected 'any secure place at property' as they didn't have an option for porch, which is weird, I am sure that is a pretty common option people would want to put!

My dad lived in a house with a name not a number which was also difficult to find on a road with other un-numbered houses and poor Amazon drivers used to ring me (who'd placed the order for him) and I'd ask them what they could see and semaphore them towards the house by phone haha.

I suggested to my dad that he print out the Amazon logo and stick it to his door and that seemed to help. Does What3Words help? I find it amazingly useful to pinpoint something but I know it's been overhyped in the news quite a bit, and isn't a very open platform.

Example what3words.com/turns.intervals.shuts - Dennis Sever's house in London.

Jo

I had the bulk of my amazon order delivered to my house accidentally, hundreds of pounds of stuff several boxes. Normally I get delivered with parents. Anyway the delivery was dropped just after 9am and left on the doorstep, where my neighbours found it and took it in as we don't get home sometimes til after 6pm. The neighbours encouraged us to complain and deny the delivery had been made. I didn't because you drivers are busy and I did have my parcels. However, does this happen often and do you get penalised?

Thank you for all your hard work at the moment !

❤️

I'm amazed how cheerful the Amazon drivers are! Always polite too.

Tonight I got a delivery that turned out to be for a neighbour a few doors away (their bin with their house number on had been left outside my house by mistake by the bin men, so I saw how the mistake could happen). I ran outside when I realised and told the young woman driver just as she was getting in her van. She was really lovely - very grateful to me and cheery.