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Original poster

A Christmas begging thread from an Amazon driver

150 replies

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 17/12/2019 21:45

Please:

  • Clearly number your house.
  • Have a letterbox.
  • Don’t moan at me when I ask for ID. We get mystery shopper-checked and if I don’t ask I could lose my job.
  • Adjust your safe place settings if you know you’ll be out so I don’t have to take your parcel 30 miles back to the depot after my shift (unpaid).
  • If you live in a mansion with electric gates, have no neighbours and are never home to receive parcels, get a wall-mounted parcel box.
  • Don’t complain that it’s really late when you ordered something for same-day delivery between 6-10pm and it’s 9.45.

In return, I will:

  • Not throw your parcel or leave it in a stupid place where it will get soaking wet, nicked or taken away by the bin men.
  • Leave a ‘sorry you were out card’ to tell you where to find said parcel.
  • Not moan when you order the heaviest presents known to mankind, live at the top of a block of flats laid out like a maze with no working lift.
  • Not laugh when you answer the door in your underwear.

Xmas Smile Season’s greetings!

OP posts:
2018SoFarSoGreat · 18/12/2019 00:18

Wish you were my delivery person - you sound great! Today's delivery looked like the attached. Not even my path - not even close. Out in the alley between houses. Sheesh.

A Christmas begging thread from an Amazon driver
goose1964 · 18/12/2019 00:22

I'm assuming you're not the Amazon driver who allegedly handed my sister's Christmas present to my Dad on a day he was out. It took hours to get it sorted out and someone else has the original.

Defender90 · 18/12/2019 00:25

Thank you.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 18/12/2019 00:37

Amazon is the company that can consistently find our house apparently. It's an Army camp. There are signposts all over the place. The general consensus amongst the residents is drivers can often not be bothered with the security process, which takes less than 2minutes for registered couriers.

DontCallMeShitley · 18/12/2019 00:42

Please would you not hand me parcels for the house with the same no. in the street that is parallel to mine and run away before I get a chance to check the address on it?

It is a very long walk to get to that part of the road from where I am and if I can't do it I have to try to get in touch with the people that live there and ask them to drive round to pick their parcels up or contact Amazon to send someone to collect it and take it to the right place.

Gingerkittykat · 18/12/2019 00:45

My Amazon deliveries have always been great, unlike Hermes or DPD. I do get pissed off at having to give ID but not your fault.

If you were the guy who delivered a massive box with 4 bags of cat litter and 5 other parcels to me yesterday then thanks!

Jux · 18/12/2019 00:46

Our Amazon driver is lovely, he's always up for a quick chat and when we're out puts stuff in a sensible place. I'm off to have a look at where i've said to put stuff as I don't remember ever doing that.

Creepster · 18/12/2019 00:48

How about I promise to continue not buying anything from Amazon if you will kindly stop setting off my driveway alarm by turning around and then blocking my driveway several times a week when you deliver to the neighbor?

goingtotown · 18/12/2019 00:49

Amazon drivers please leave my delivery in my safe place not with my grumpy neighbour.

Elphame · 18/12/2019 00:50

And it’s a legal requirement to number your house

Well we have a problem there - many rural houses (including mine) have names not numbers. It's not a vanity name - there is no number for us.

Could you also be truthful please? You haven't handed the parcel to me as I was 100 miles away. In fact you left it on my doorstep.

MiniMum97 · 18/12/2019 00:55

My amazon delivery drivers just leave the stuff in the pouring rain behind the bin if I am lucky, if not just on the doorstep. They often do that even if I am in - they don't even bother to knock! I really can't imagine any of them being arsed to ask me for ID!

BanditoShipman · 18/12/2019 01:14

Could you give me more than 5 seconds after ringing the bell to actually answer the door?

LazyDaisey · 18/12/2019 01:18

“Seriously? You expect the driver to park 200m away from your house? That's a long way to have to carry a parcel if it's large, and wastes precious minutes that are not factored in to delivery times.”

Yes. I seriously expect someone to walk 1 minute to my door with a small parcel. Ocado, Sainsbury’s and Tesco manage to park trucks twice the size and carry ferry weeks worth of groceries without illegally blocking roads.

Because blocking a public road is fucking illegal and it’s never ok just to stop your car in the middle of the road and make traffic wait because your time is more valuable.

ffswhatnext · 18/12/2019 01:25

Can always tell when it's not one of the regular delivery people, as the parcel is often left with a neighbour. No name or number. Thankfully it's now only a problem for a few weeks when a new neighbour moves in until they realise that honestly it's not your neighbours being cheeky fuckers.

MadisonAvenue · 18/12/2019 01:32

Thank you! We have great Amazon drivers around here, I’ve never had a problem with them and order often!

I’m amazed that people seem to have the same one every time who delivers to them Smile

AnyMinuteNow · 18/12/2019 07:04

^In return, I will:

  • Not throw your parcel or leave it in a stupid place where it will get soaking wet, nicked or taken away by the bin men^

You sound like the worst of the worst that you would threaten, or even have this thought about treating other peoples property and purchases this way ffs!

You sound like the shit amazon delivery person that dumped an expensive parcel in the middle of my path to my house where it had been spotted by someone passing by, who was on my path eyeing it up.

Frankly you need reporting for threatening this in order to boss and blackmail people.

How fuckin dare you.

As you can see, amazon drivers are not 'all that' and if it gets you in such a lather, get a different job!!

BillywilliamV · 18/12/2019 07:08

Had a total of £500 worth of tech left outside in the rain, no ring on the doorbell. Don’t believe delivery drivers do ring, presumably would take too long!

lifeisgoodagain · 18/12/2019 07:23

I just with delivery drivers would use my wall mounted, right next to the door, fully functioning door bell! Ups is a particular nightmare, had to make a formal complaint , a single light knock and they leave, couldn't here them in the back ... use the bell and remember some people are fortunate to live in homes that take a minute to get to the door (I admit I'm lucky)

RLOU30 · 18/12/2019 07:29

@AnyMinuteNow

I think you have god this terribly wrong. The way I read it the OP was just drawing on people’s horror stories and assuring them that they do not act like that. I didn’t see it as a threat at all.

Original poster
SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 18/12/2019 07:39

@AnyMinuteNow I wouldn’t ever treat someone’s things this way, even when I’ve spent 10 minutes looking for their house with no number, parked half a mile away and lugged 10 heavy parcels up the road in the pouring rain only to find no one in and instructions saying not to deliver to neighbours. I was just forestalling complaints about the way some delivery drivers behave.

OP posts:
Original poster
SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 18/12/2019 07:40

Thankyou @RLOU30

OP posts:
RLOU30 · 18/12/2019 07:43

Yes. I seriously expect someone to walk 1 minute to my door with a small parcel. Ocado, Sainsbury’s and Tesco manage to park trucks twice the size and carry ferry weeks worth of groceries without illegally blocking roads.

You can not compare Amazon couriers to Sainsbury’s or Tescos. Amazon couriers can deliver 200 parcels to 100+ places they are in a hurry to say the least.

It’s a shame, people are happy to have free prime delivery for all of their parcels (and many order multiple a week instead of at the same time) but don’t think they could jump up to get the door a bit quicker for your fellow human to deliver everyone else’s on time.

Equimum · 18/12/2019 07:45

Do Amazon drivers have cards to let us know where our parcels are? I’ve never seen one, meaning my poor neighbours often have our parcels for quite a while before we realise/they drop them round.

Wasn’t a problem yesterday, though, when one of them left the parcel half way up the front door, supported by my wreath!

Seriously, though, it must be a thankless jobs t this time of year, so thanks.

Borisdaspide · 18/12/2019 07:50

Most people cant sit next to the door for 2 days though. Blame Amazon, not the people who occasionally need to wee!

PosiePie · 18/12/2019 07:58

Please:

- Clearly number your house.

Can I ask that in return you'll actually read the information provided on the gate and parcel and understand the difference between a ground floor flat and a first floor flat?

I have first floor flat plus number and road on my gate, and on the door. People still try to deliver my stuff to downstairs and their stuff to me, despite the addresses being correct on the parcel and gates. And not argue with me over the address when I point out you've tried to deliver a parcel for the ground floor flat to the first floor flat. Oh and understand that first floor flat means upstairs and give me enough time to actually get down the stairs....... I don't apparate 😊

To be fair I've had the police, RSPCA, royal mail and paramedics do the same thing, I'm not really sure how much plainer I can make it though!