Poncetastic 2016

[WaitingForEgg]

Ok this thread may commence from midnight in honour of Fellatio. I sadly abandoned last years mid run due to pre-eclampsia and early birth of my December baby and therefore fully intend to throw myself fully into this years festivities:

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Let's surpass all poncestastic pasts please

Seeing This has just made me so happy! I was just thinking today I need to get the Christmas gin started AND I get to spend this Christmas at home (yeeesssssss!)

Hurrah first year I'm delurking and joining in with the ponce.
Let Christmas commence

Would a novice knitter be able to make those mermaid tails? I'd love to give it a go, but worry I'll end up throwing it across the room.

I've got a fab metal non-stick pudding bowl that has a lid from Lakeland. It's perfect for popping in the steamer while eating Christmas lunch.

Tax,when I made my stockings, I used old jumpers, just cut out a rough stocking shape, and sewed it roughly round the edge. I then used thick red wool to overstitch all round. I decorated with ribbons, buttons and a large felt initial for whichever child it was.

They do stretch like buggery so you can fit lots in....

I also get reminded of three of my favourite jumpers every Christmas

Have got my blackberries soaking in brandy !
#3months to soak3minutes to drink
Have a full time job in catering , so am up to my ears in food preparation , but will make a couple of wreaths ( lots of fields to forage )
Both DC at uni , so not sure how long they'll be here for the holidays
Let the Poncing commence

Hurray, my favourite thread on Mumsnet! Mostly a lurker in previous years but in a madly poncetastic mood this year - let's see what I can do in three months! Started bramble brandy today and have sloes in the freezer (and thorns in the hand).

Last year I tried forcing paperwhites (?) - got the timing all wrong and they bloomed too early but actually I HATED the smell of them so they ended up in greenhouse...

I have a few sewing projects on the go and think I will try the dried orange slices this year - and anything else that inspires me on this thread.

WaitingforEgg, I share your sense of urgency and your impulse to plan, plan, plan.

I bought a tube of Gorilla Glue last week and there are great things in store for it.

I have spotted some pinecones in my local Aldi car park that I will gather.

Hoping to pick up some spicy cinnamon flavoured inedible candy at Halloween that I can glue to a foam florist's form and make my flat smell of cinnamon.

Last year I retrieved from The Cupboard Where Things Go To Die the small 'sauce warming pot' that came with my slow cooker and used it as a simmering pot for homemade pot pourri/humidifier. I used orange peel, cinnamon sticks, rosemary fronds and vanilla. Also one with lemon and cloves.

Yes love the ponce! already made apple chutney from my own apples a few weeks ago for some presents, and need to make at least 1 new stocking for my friends DD.

Have more time this year so been spending much of it on pinning ideas. I would really like to make the beautiful rose wreath Kirsty Allsopp made a year or 2 ago. I am also going to start on the mince pies for the freezer as we go through a bloody ridiculous amount of them

Ok so I steam an Xmas pud in a plastic basin, not metal or ceramic? Will have a look at Lakeland, thanks!

beachys last year I got some faux pine garlands from tescos! They were surprisingly real looking (I don't normally do fake anything!) But on thick wire so I wove them in and out of the balustrades, decorated with oranges etc and tiny LED lights, it looked great!

Apple butter?!? What is this wonderful stuff you speak of? I have LOADS of dessert and cooking apples to use, we can't possibly eat them all now!

Marking place. I have some nice recipes for shortbread and mincepies I will share later when I dig them out

I am going to make my own pudding this year. Thanks for Lakeland tip. I bought a poor quality bowl last year.

Anyone got any nice wrapping tips?

Ooooh, NickDrakes, what recipe do you use for the apple chutney? I have many spare apples and am looking for good storage options.

Count me in! I have posted a bit in previous years under an old name but this year I have more time and plan to home-make and ponce a lot! I think this is all going to be identifiable so I have name changed especially for this.

So. So far I have been making Christmas jumper bunting. I have already posted this on a craft thread, but this is one of them. I have done around 20 so far, all different. I plan to festoon my open plan kitchen-diner with a big garland of them.

I have also made some green tomato jam (not especially Christmassy but delicious) to eat over the festive period. I usually make my own puddings and cake but not sure this year as there's only me, DH and small DS. And I am supposed to be on a diet

Might have a look at some flavoured alcohol and other foodie gifts later. First though, we are off on holiday this week and when I come back I have to make DS's fabric advent calendar. And finish the Christmas appliqué cushions I started 2 years ago.

I'm super excited this year - new house big fireplaces and stair cases. I'm going to town

Great thread! Best countdown to Christmas!

I am only dipping my toe into ponciness, but I finally have more time this year now my youngest is in pre-school.

Have a question for bramble brandy makers: is it too late to start collecting the blackberries now if I want to try this? We have some right out in the back garden but they're smaller in size now than they were end of August/beginning of September.

Rue it was this one from BBC Good Food. Looks good but haven't tried it yet as needs to mature a bit.

Attempting to join in this year and started this weekend to crochet mini stockings for an advent calendar

Am I already to late to make orange pomanders?? How do I and what do I need??

Woo hoo! Been waiting for this thread!!

This is the style of wreath I'm making this year.

Oh and I am definitely making a tree skirt this year. I meant to last year and didn't get round to it.