Poncetastic 2016

[WaitingForEgg]

Ok this thread may commence from midnight in honour of Fellatio. I sadly abandoned last years mid run due to pre-eclampsia and early birth of my December baby and therefore fully intend to throw myself fully into this years festivities:

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Let's surpass all poncestastic pasts please

Hurrah! Have been waiting for this also! Am making an early bid for this year's biggest ponce award, by having a woodburner and oak mantlepiece installed just so I can ponce the mantlepiece up and so I can stay warm during winter

Other than that would like to go large on decorating this year, am waiting for inspiration to strike.

I'm
Here ready to
Ponce!

Ooo. I might have a go this year as we have a Scandanavian guest and I feel I should make an effort to show him a traditional British Christmas.

I made a last minute wreath last year out of some red dogwood stems and some internet instructions. It was surprisingly easy to bend them into a circle and sort of weave together. I then wired foliage onto it plus fir cones and berries and it was free as I had wire and ribbon. In previous years I got an oasis wreath, added pine clippings, ivy, herbs, holly, rose hips and roses.

2 years ago I had a go at making a garland on a piece of rope I found. It was quite time consuming but looked fairly ok, might repeat that.

Ooh- I have been waiting for this thread. Last year I was a bit in-Poncey as I had a five week old for Christmas, but made some bits with DD1 in advance. This year I want to make a wreath, decorate some pinecones as gifts, make a Christmas cake (we didn't last year as DH who eats it had started having an upset tummy when he ate our last ones- he is quite sensitive so will try a new recipie this year).

Also thinking of bramble gin or vodka and jam as we have a glut of them in the freezer. So exciting...

I remember lurking on previous year's threads, but have never succeeded in being particularly poncey...

I do usually make a Christmas cake sometime in October, plus me and DD made pomanders last year, that was fairly poncetastic (until they went mouldy )

I've followed this thread for the last couple of years but never contributed!

I've already bought, painted and decoupaged a wooden house shaped advent calendar for my 2nd child, my 1st has one I made (might update it a little this year), and my 3rd is only 3 months so i will wait till next year for hers.

We have wreath making at a community hub near us so I plan to do one for the front door there, I've been collecting mini pine cones with the kids for ages - need to spray them gold! Lots of mulled wine and homemade xmas treats will be shared. I also Want to make a paper wreath this year, I've got lovely old books that I'm going to fold oragami flowers out of - not quite sure how to attach them yet though!

I need to sew my 2nd and 3rd kids stocking to match Dd1, I'll probably only manage one this year though!

Then lots of delicious food! Always mince pies, I want to try lebuckhan (sp?) this year, and then Xmas cake and pud. Does anyone know when 'stir up sunday' is, and also what I can make an Xmas pud in? I can't find a proper basin and I've never made one before!

elQuintoConyo she is good, this year seems to have flown by

Thank you all, I am so glad to see fellow poncers out there!

So far I have half of my christmas presents purchased

Next weekend is cake and pudding making time

I have decided on very little else yet and therefore need to get cracking

What poncetastic ideas worked out well for people last year?

Gilly Stir-up Sunday is the Sunday before the 1st Sunday of Advent so it is 20th November this year. Lakeland do plastic lidded pudding bowls which are brilliant but if you really want to ponce look at shops like Wilko/TK Maxx/Matalan for Christmas style pudding bowls. I have seen one or two on my extensive research of Christmas internet sites but can't remember where

I don't know if I've got anything new that I can ponce this year. I might try to find a wreath making class nearby but that the only thing I can think of. It's looking like DM will be staying here for Christmas so I could possibly also make her a stocking.

Oooo this is my type of thread! I'm about 90% done with the shopping and wrapping so will start on the making soon!
This year I want to make a wreath, my own wax soy melts, candy bouquets and make my own sweetie boxes rather than selection boxes.
I also have a wee christmas related sewing business that keeps me busy. Not many new sewing projects for me this year as made everyone christmas stockings last year (13 all filled to individual tastes!)

I've also got a few elf on the shelf things to make and paint for my own elves

And food! Will plan nearer the time but always do homemade everything for christmas dinner, chutneys, salted caramel sauce etc also want to try making gingerbread syrups for lattes this year

Oooh this thread is ny spiritual home 😃

In previous, child-free, years, I've made my own biscotti and truffles as gifts, made wreaths, spray-painted pine cones, baked gingerbread decorations, colour-themed all my gift-wrap, made sausage and apple rolls with my own puff pastry, decanted homemade damson gin into teeny bottles and generally enjoyed being a massive Christmas ponce. This year I will be doing it all vicariously, through you guys 👍🏻 can't bloody wait!!

Following this thread even though I have zero crafty talent. Hoping to see some ideas that even I can do!

I love this thread.... This year I Will Try Harder.... Definitely need a new Wreath, might throw a Christmas drinks party so will need to pounce for that.

I'd like some staircase decorating ideas, please?

Ponce, obviously, no pouncing allowed at my Christmas party!

My people, oh how I love this thread every year. 🎄

You can buy plastic pudding basins for Xmas pud, Lakeland may have?

I have a fabric advent calendar that I made for the DC about 4-5 yrs ago, it's a Christmas tree with buttons all over it that you can hang (hand-stitched) felt ornaments

Love this thread. Last year I was feeling poncey but didn't have time, this year I WILL make time. I always do a cake but this year would like to make my DS a stocking (first Xmas he is having a stocking) and I've been eyeing up these beautiful felt decorations a, just need to commit to it as the patterns are expensive
www.etsy.com/listing/212878944/french-hen-pdf-pattern-for-a-hand-sewn?utm_campaign=Share&utm_medium=PageTools&utm_source=OpenGraph

Also making my son some Panama bottoms and bought the penguin brushed flannel fabric this morning. Excited!

On that note, does anyone have a link to a free stocking pattern? Thanks

im in, ive already made a start, i crocheted a mermaid tail, and started on another tail and a lap blanket for dh nan. hoping to make a new tree skirt and attempt a bake off worthy gingerbread house this year. ive also decided to try my hand at Christmas cards this year

Ooooooooh Poncetastic Thread , in 3 months will be Christmas Eve

Marking place to keep checking back. My DC are teenagers now (will be 14.6 and 17 by Christmas) so I'm planning a relaxed 'adult' Christmas.
Subtle non gaudy decorations and (hopefully) a lingering, relaxed Christmas Dinner.
No 5am starts now

I can recommend this site for patterns for Christmas cards to "sew". I bought a single design about 5 years ago for £1 and they are still the same price or you can buy a pack of about half a dozen designs for £5. You prick out the design on card and sew with embroidery floss. I did the sewing part on flat card and then mounted it on my proper cards with double sized foam pad squares. I found the instructions quite clear to follow.

My DM loved the card so much she had it framed and it hangs in her hall (it was the Madonna and child design and I used metallic thread)

Yay, I actually came on to ask where the bloody hell the poncetastic thread was! Et voila, here you are.

I'm going all out ponce on the outside decorations this year, I've picked my lights, and we have a walk way that is going to be a magical stroll through to the front door. I can't ponce inside much more than we already do, but I'm opening up the menu a bit this year at least.

Beachys last year I brought a long plain fur tree garland, wrapped it around the staircase and then baked orange peel and studded it with cloves, and twisted it together with cinnamon sticks in places along the garland. It was so nice, smelt amazing, and lasted 5 weeks. I'm adding tiny white bells this year too.

Yay! I have so much to do! It feels like I can come out of the Christmas closet now - the Poncing has officially started

DD and I made dried orange slices and pomanders recently that are drying out going mouldy in the airing cupboard.

Christmas shopping well in hand thanks to the bargain thread. All being wrapped in brown paper and jute twine with sprigs of pine, cinnamon sticks and mouldy orange slices.

I've bought a mini sewing machine and spent a frustrating happy evening crafting retreading the blasted machine over and over and might just manage to produce something respectable for Christmas. I'm hoping to make some tablet pillows as gifts.

Watching with interest for some wreath making tips.

Christobel would you share your onion marmalade recipe? Sounds yummy.