Poncetastic 2016

[WaitingForEgg]

Ok this thread may commence from midnight in honour of Fellatio. I sadly abandoned last years mid run due to pre-eclampsia and early birth of my December baby and therefore fully intend to throw myself fully into this years festivities:

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Let's surpass all poncestastic pasts please

They look fab!

Hi all.
Have decided to unlurk and throw myself into the poncing. So far I have made..mincemeat, chilli jelly, spiced pickled pears, raspberry vodka, Apple and blackberry gin, Apple and blackberry chutney, hot chilli chutney and Apple and chilli chutney.

Have Christmas cake in the oven and planning to make my own door wreath and table centre.

Have also started to make those little Pom Pom hats from up thread.

Still looking for more ideas for further poncing...

Blimey that's some serious poncing!

Today we celebrated DD's 7th birthday so I've been busy with that (DIY build a bear type thing, was great fun for me the kids). Now that that's out of the way I can get on with poncing, beginning with puds, I don't want to wait until stir up Sunday as I think they taste better if they're a bit more boozy mature.

I was going to do the Christmas cake today but there were no sultanas in the supermarket which also meant I couldn't do the punkin chutney I'm going to make.

I'm doing a cheese and chutney and crackers type hamper for one set of parents and a sweet one with cake, fudge and biscuits for the other set I decided today. Just need to decide which recipes to use as I've got loads bookmarked!

I've made the BBC Christmas vodka recipe with dark rum in previous years do you think it would work with Brandy? or is there a nice recipe anyone has tried for a flavoured one?

Does ponceing have to be posh?? DD and I love decorating for Christmas, but are mostly inspired by Elf! Garlands of paper snowflakes everywhere, more hanging from the high ceilings, twinkly lights..... Open to new ideas though, especially for the stairs,

Littletike - I made the Christmas pudding one with brandy and it was as nice if not nicer than with rum. The other one we make is with fresh ginger and brandy, that is amazing, so fiery. Just peel and chop quite a lot of fresh ginger and then boil it up in not much water and some sugar then just stick it all in a Kilner with a bottle of brandy (cheapish is fine). We've done it in as little as two weeks before and it's always delicious, we have requests for it!

I think poncing is more about effort and doing things yourself than how expensive it is. I adorn the house with lots of home made paper snowflake.

My pouncing isn't posh, it's more fripperies that I could make easier for myself by buying, but instead make them myself

I don't think it has to be posh at all. Just imaginative, and even then you don't have to go overboard. For me it means adding a personal touch. My family is pretty set in its expectations of Christmas foods, so for me the personal touch comes in in decoration.

I love the idea of paper snowflake garlands.

zgaze thanks I'll give it a go

I want to create a little drinks station so have bought a silver coloured tray, won 2 decanters off of eBay for peanuts, will add a little vase with some seasonal flowers (white rose and thistle maybe) and a couple of tealight holders.

Hope it looks as good in reality as it does in my head!

Sounds lovely Holly.

I have about 20 bottles of french cider in the cupboard that I think I might make spiced/mulled cider with.

I left DP to do the pumpkins and I'm left with scrappy bits of pumpkin flesh rather than chunks I can dice... do you think it will be ok to still make the chutney with?

Right, step one of Christmas pudding is done, the mixture is happily macarating away in the fridge, the house smells temporarily of Christmas which is a little confusing but pleasant.

I was browsing Christmas albums on iTunes last night, I wanted to get a choir one (have already got a kids one and a pop one), does anyone have any recommendations? From my initial browsing I'm swaying towards King's college choir.

Know it's not Christmas but I'm quite pleased with my poncing! My little girl is doing gruffalo at school so I made her a little setting to retell the story! I can always add snow and make it the gruffalo a child! Does that count as Christmas or pushing it a tad!!!!

Obviously am also Christmas poncing too!!!!

That's brilliant!!

That's awesome, Chelazla! Did you design it all yourself?

I have been crocheting mini-wreaths, and practising proper wreath-making (it's an autumn wreath, obviously, DH!) but need to get my bum in gear and finish DS's advent calendar before I do any other crafting.

Although, I did stumble across a pattern for crochet popcorn which looks adorable and would be ideal for DS to play with... Damn you Pinterest!

I have lots of green tomatoes left on my dying tomato plants ~ DMIL suggested green tomato chutney. Has anyone come across a good recipe?

We're at family on Christmas Day, but at home Boxing Day. Was thinking of ham, cheese and pickle sandwiches on seeded bread.

What are peoples' failsafe Christmas ham recipes?

I've never made pickles/chutneys before - should I have a jar of Branstons in the cupboard to whip out if necessary? How likely is it that it will go inedibly wrong?

And any tips for a novice bread-maker?

I just tried to make it look as much like the book as possible! She likes it so that's all that matters! The wreathes are really cute! How will you use them? I want to make a door wreath this year but completely clueless how to go about it! Will be looking for lots of tips on here! I'm also thinking I might make something like this and puppets as stocking filler. I think I'll make a story sack and add a book that matches.

Thanks shortlegz!!

If you read back through, I'm sure I posted a link to Mumsnet's wreath making Youtube tutorial.

I basically followed that for my wreath, base made of ivy and then stick bits in. It depends what you're thinking of when you say 'wreath' though. If you're imagining a thick, bushy evergreen circle, then a different tutorial would be better.

Has anyone seen the Booth's book this year? Gawd those people know how to ponce - it's bloody gorgeous. The online version doesn't do the actual book justice, it's all gold embossed with a hard cover. Beautiful www.booths.co.uk/christmas-book-2016/

Chutney recipe here , read the comments below though as it needs a little tweaking with regards to the spices.

Thanks Lachatte! Adding that to the poncing list

I made Nigellas Christmas chutney last year - it was lovely. I love her Christmas recipes such as the gingerbread stuffing which goes lovely with gammon.

Oh can I join? I didn't realise Christmas crochet would count as pinching.
Firefly I have been making mini wreaths too (along with snowflakes).

I am doing hampers for a few people for Christmas. I've bought the chutneys but made the jam, and will be baking shortbread and a whiskey and honey cake for them nearer the time.