Poncetastic 2016

[WaitingForEgg]

Ok this thread may commence from midnight in honour of Fellatio. I sadly abandoned last years mid run due to pre-eclampsia and early birth of my December baby and therefore fully intend to throw myself fully into this years festivities:

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Let's surpass all poncestastic pasts please

Hello everyone. I'm new to this, I wasn't on Mumsnet last Christmas. I have posted on the Christmas craft thread though.
I'm very impressed by everyone's food/drink makes. I don't really do cooking.
This year family are getting house door stops. Picture below, they are not quite finished mainly as I haven't decided what to put in them to make them heavy.
I'm looking for ideas for recyclable/reusable wrapping ideas. Already thought of tea-towels, scarves and reusable shopping bags.Anyone any other ideas?

Yes it was not pretty, but it will be a good cautionary tale to tell!
I promise it is pink from the onions not from his blood!!!

sn0w doorstops look fantastic! Rice might work for stuffing for them maybe? hairspray pickles look delicious! Would he share the recipe? (Hope his finger is soon better.)

Hairspray I did think that re pinkness - bit of extra colour in there, no one would know....! Hope he recovers soon, bet it stung like a bugger with all the onion juice. Yowch. It does look lovely though!

Been eating peppermint bark all night - trialled it and it was fab but obviously won't keep so I'm working my way through it. Not good for shifting the post-baby belly, but it's so yummy! Used mixed mints as couldn't find striped ones for love nor money and I actually love how it turned out - in the pan it looked like the beach
DH has put the kibosh on a neighbourhood Xmas party round our house. I'm so gutted a houseful of friends & neighbours is my dream and his nightmare. We are polar opposites on this - he's an antisocial grinch, I'd have everyone I'd ever met to Xmas dinner if we had the space. Still, I have a couple of months to work on him! I might be able to push him to mulled wine & Cards Against Humanity with a more select gathering, we'll see. I'm totally in the Xmas spirit now and so excited! Gathered lots of pine cones, branches etc with DD in the woods yesterday - need to get my hands on some glittery spray paint and go crazy!

jj He is a bit of a wing it kind of bloke tbh but I have a feeling this is a cross between a recipe on the Sarsons website and the one that was in the Tesco magazine this month!

Basic method would be:
Slice onions carefully
Heat vinegar, sugar and whole spices and herbs gently
Pack onions into sterilized jar
Pour over vinegar mixture
Seal jar and open on christmas morning!

Not sure about exact quantities but check out the Sarsons website they are very helpful re: pickling!

Mummyshortlegz That fudge looks lush! Which recipe do you use? I always go with the ultimate fudge recipe on the Carnation website, but am slightly concerned that using condensed milk is cheating!

Hairspray Condensed milk totally isn't cheating - most of my fudge recipes involve it in one way or another. The only one that doesn't involve it is the one I use for Baileys and White Chocolate.

Hairspray that was my recipe and totally not cheating!

Oh fab, just want to ensure I am being poncey enough!
Is that a trial run for the fudge or will that keep till christmas now?

Trial run. I don't know how long it would keep I haven't looked that up!

Remember I got told off for my guiding level hats which ARE NOT PONCEY. so I am not the best person to ask ;-)

I am considering whether I can set the fudge in a star shaped ice cube mould and then decorate it with stripes of green and red white chocokwate.

I found with that fudge that I could re work it before it set too hard like a dough e.g roll out and cut with a small pastry cutter then leave to set for a week in an open tin/lunchbox with a tea towel over and it gets harder edges and keeps its shape. So you could try that and then decorate with the melts? I think it would be virtually impossible to get out of the icecube tray without ruining the shape.

Not sure if that makes any sense! I never know how long it lasts because I live with a greedy boy!

I was wondering if I could do something like that. I'll give it a go in a month and then if it doesn't work I'll give it away (eat it) and have time to make a third batch.

Hello! Its me LadyChatterley, formerly Umlauf, name changed AGAIN to join an antenatal thread because I have only gone and crafted a foetus!! Go me!!

Now I can actually knit thanks to this thread I am going to knit Christmas stockings for my (soon to be TWO) children (although not this year, no time left!!) This year I'm going to have a go at a game of thrones hat for my DH. It says "winter is coming!" on it which I find highly amusing for a winter hat! I have already made a foxy one for DS which went really well, but I have the crafters curse of having a hat-hating son. I think DH would probably actually wear his.

I've been busy crocheting a hat, snood and fingerless gloves set for DM.

Fudge sounds and looks great mummy I would also use cookie cutters to try and cut it out. I want to try and make my own snowflake shaped marshmallows and give them with posh hot chocolate powder.

I really really love the house doorstops too.

Hairspray thank you for the pickle recipe - I am quite happy winging it too. Will give it a go!

Loving lots of the ideas on here.

No probs just remember to use high acid vinegar or you risk botulism!

I just realised that the majority of my poncing planning has been food related, I have not made any decorations or cards yet this year but these are a few from last year. Plus bonus bloke poncing from DF who made the wooden robins for a church fate and pressies!

am loving this thread! Have made many notes and started knitting Ds1 his mittens which should hopefully take a week around work.

Hairspray do you have a pattern for that reindeer please? It's gorgeous!

Hairspray, I want your tablecloth! Where the devil did you get it?

Congrats, Donostia!

The table cloth is my mothers! We craft at here house, much more space but I think it is from the range, possibly.

they were a Dovecraft kit More you can still get them on ebay I embroider the year into the back of them so when I look back I know when I made them!

inconsiderate sick children have set back my poncing schedule and I'm having a relationship breakdown with my sewing machine

Question for those who brine their turkey: where did you find a bucket large enough? And safe enough not to leach nasty chemicals into the meat?

Wilkos do food grade buckets, in the wine making section.

I weighed out my fruit for Christmas cake today. DD1 (3) ate more fruit than is healthy and I an seriously dreading tomorrow as she is in the midst of potty training and I don't think this will help...

I don't care for fruit cake, but I do love the smell of the fruit in brandy. So christmassy.

I have figured out the details of a little wall hanging I am going to make for DD1. It's going to be part embroidery and part collage, based on a print I saw on Pinterest of a snowy scene with birch trees, some red cardinals and a fox. I will head off this weekend to hunt down materials in my local fabric shop. I did a similar but far less detailed small wall hanging project a few years ago and left it literally to the last minute - I was up til 1am Christmas morning with it and almost lost the will to live - so this time I will be starting in time and hopefully finishing well before the middle of December.

Mummyshortlegz I can't take my eyes off that fudge

Well, it's half term here (I'm a teacher in France), so I can get down to some serious Poncing at long last. Unfortunately this is the time of year when all the big bills arrive and we are consequently skint, so I'm having to plan Poncing around that, bah humbug.

I do pottery as a hobby and am looking for ideas for presents I could make (I haven't learnt to use a wheel yet, so it's all a bit wonky artisanal for now.

Just stocked up on Rochester mulled berry drink to try and satisfy my pregnant mulled wine cravings. It's actually jolly nice, a little too nice so I think we'll have to get some more for actual Christmas!

I am so excited to find this thread. YOU ARE MY PEOPLE. Well, you will be when I have finished the kitchen/craft cupboard renovations and I can actually get in there - I'm hurrying DH up as I need to start my scarf knitting and card making!

ChristmasSeacow, the periodic table tablecloth is from Dunelm - it's in the fabric by metre area. I'm sure because I was eyeing it myself on Tuesday, but resisted. Yesterday was payday though and I'm visiting that shopping centre again today ......

I visited Hobbycraft though and picked up a couple of paper mache/cardboard angel blanks for the children to decorate - they are poncetastic in training. I also bought this sign, which was in the Hallowe'en area, but I'm going to decorate it for the North Pole, my hometown and Orlando (I have a Disney/Universal themed tree in the bedroom with decorations we bought in the US).

I also bought this felt mistletoe in Hobbycraft as an inspiration - the living room is the messy, fun tree with decorations the children have made, random decorations etc (dining room, bedroom, children's bedroom trees are red and gold, Disney/Universal and pink 50s themed respectively), but I think I'll craft some felt bunting, tree decorations etc, inspired by the mistletoe, to draw it all together.