Poncetastic 2016

[WaitingForEgg]

Ok this thread may commence from midnight in honour of Fellatio. I sadly abandoned last years mid run due to pre-eclampsia and early birth of my December baby and therefore fully intend to throw myself fully into this years festivities:

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Let's surpass all poncestastic pasts please

Chelazla hero!

could we have a collection of links ?

Also Amazon have bronze tinsel ! In a rush !

Lovely pics Trumpton

Any thoughts on dessert?
I'm considering a chocolate sphere along these lines but possibly decorated as a bauble but that might be a bit naff.
Has anyone any experience with tempering white or milk chocolate? Dark chocolate is straightforward to work with but the philistines in my house won't appreciate it.

Sorry Amy that was me!

I've decided to get the hook out and make some crochet snowflakes that I'll spray with starch and stick on the front of our cards this year. Going for this - fingers crossed this is how they'll turn out!

Trumpton have you a link for the narcissi? What sort of rocks? I meant to try last year but forgot! They'd be a lovely part of my table centrepiece.

Any recommendations for gingerbread recipes? I've used Mary Berry in the past to make basic gingerbread house but thinking of attempting model of our own house. The really big ones leave out most of the spices to make the mixture stronger, but I'd like it to be edible. Maybe some cream of tartar would do the trick? It won't be huge but maybe half as big again as a normal one.

video
I generally get my bulbs from Unwins . It grieves me to pay postage but had some feeble cheapie ones from eBay a few years ago .

I allow 5 weeks from planting to flowering .

If you water with diluted gin or vodka then it keeps the greenery stocky but the flowers strong .
research from Cornell University
Can you tell I am slightly over-invested in my Christmas Paperwhites?

AmyAmoeba Any good ?

Amy I have always just used Mary Berrys for my Gingerbread house and it is usually ok. I keep a spare Ikea kit incase of disaster and if it doesn't get used I turn it into a cheesecake base.

This is my first year dealing with multiple allergies and coeliacs. Having to adjust all of our traditional recipes and hope they still work. After 20 years of using them I don't the children and I dont really want to change them. Also looking for toddler friendly crafts to try this year.

I've not ventured into pastry yet but I make rather good gf , df and eg bread and cakes. I can't even buy gf pastry as it all contains egg and egg is one of my sons worst allergies. I had heard gf bread flour is the best to use for pastry. Need to give it a try soon I think.

Aaaaaaaah I have found my people!

So far I'm working on a Sophie's Universe blanket for my mum - I'm almost halfway through, 3 weeks in! If I get it finished in good time, I'll try and get some amigurumi decorations done - winter animals, maybe a FC.

I also usually make various fudges for family members - this year I'll be doing Baileys & White Chocolate fudge, Chocolate Orange fudge, Cranberry & nut fudge and, potentially, some tablet. I can't decide how to package them though - in previous years when I've been overly harassed by newborns, I've just put them in old carte d'or tubs that I'd fancied up with Christmas paper.

This is the first year that DS is at nursery over Christmas - I'm not sure what to do for his key worker, and whether I need to do something for just his key worker or all the key workers in his room (there are 4 of them).

I love the idea of making a wreath too, but wouldn't know where to start. I wish I had more drinkers in my family - I don't think anyone likes gin to appreciate the flavoured stuff

Baggycheeks you could feed the flavoured gin to the paper whites like Trumpton suggested.

Baggy Mumsnet to the rescue with a wreath-making tutorial

Zero poncing planned for this weekend, it's my brother's 18th so I will be at DM's all weekend.She is a prolific poncer though so im sure i will be able to get something poncey squeezed in! They have a nice "country park" down the road so we might go picking for sloes and rosehips etc.

I'm doing balsamic pickled shallots over the weekend. 6 yo DD think peeling all the shallots will be great fun

Hello can I come in? Been lurking & meaning to post for ages. I love this thread! Having a very grinchy DH, I've always been the main driver of Xmas and always thought I was ok at it - but now I see that I am merely a novice in the Art of Ponce. I have much to learn!
In my defence, I've been pregnant or had a v little baby for 3 out of 5 of the last Christmases. I'm carrying on the trend - DC2 is currently 12 weeks - but he's a very easy baby and DC1 started school in sept, so I should have a bit of time this year to ponce!
Have been taste testing - done trial runs of the gingerbread latte syrup and the peppermint bark linked to earlier in the thread - both greatly successful and very delicious! If the weather holds this weekend I want to take the kids pine come collecting for a wreath, although I may just tart up an existing one probably from wilkos rather than attempt it entirely from scratch. Have also started present buying, so feel very organised!

Just came on to say on a week or two Aldi have LOADS of poncy stuff in; cookie cutters, choc moulds, pudding basins, bundt tins, ponce tupperware... All sorts!

I generally find their stuff is very competitvly priced and pretty good quality.I'm going to go a get a pudding basin to make my first ever Christmas pud (made loads of Xmas cakes!), and probably come back with a bunch of other stuff I didn't mean to buy!

Just in A&E with my DF he was attempting to slice some red onions with a mandoline for his christmas pink pickle and he has sliced into his finger 😵😵😵
He will be ok but there was sooo much blood 😷 DM has said no more poncing if life and limb are at risk!!!
The pickle does look nice though!

Oh no! I am sure he will be okay (if he was slicing onions the mandolin won't have taken a finger off) but if he sliced a layer of skin off it will bleed a lot and probably take a while to heal. No washing up for him for the next few weeks!

Is homemade smoked sea salt fudge poncetastic or naff? If I put silver star sprinkles on it before it set?