Poncetastic 2016

[WaitingForEgg]

Ok this thread may commence from midnight in honour of Fellatio. I sadly abandoned last years mid run due to pre-eclampsia and early birth of my December baby and therefore fully intend to throw myself fully into this years festivities:

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Let's surpass all poncestastic pasts please

Is hairspray buying canapés?! I think we can guess- she is shuddering at that idea as I type!

My dad used to make palmiers. You use puff pastry (no one makes their own surely) put cheese down one side and bacon down the other then roll it into the right shape (Google). Chill them then slice as thin as you possibly can and bake. Works best on that non stick foil you can buy.

You can cook in advance, but they are nicest warm. I make up a batch before Christmas and freeze it before slicing. The. Just take it out and Pop it in the fridge a few hours before you need it so it is soft enough to cut. I have seen various versions of this- Stilton and Parma ham or goats cheese and pesto. Honestly people go nuts over the simple cheese and bacon ones- they always ask how to make them.

Perhaps not the healthiest treat though cheese, bacon and puff pastry...

Ha- cross post!

cookie HA! Might not be so bad if it's M&S or Waitrose own mind, but I am a competitive host and I like my guests to know I have broken my back for them!
But no I will not be making my own puff pastry, even Mary Berry says life is too short! Oooh I love palmiers, I read at cocktail parties you are supposed to serve salty food to encourage people to drink more!

Also who cares about healthy 'tis the season after all! Cheese, bacon and puff pastry are my three main food groups come December 1st except not bacon as I don't eat meat

I can help with Canapes, loving the thread btw, it's like a cosy blanket
Crostini topped w Brie & cranberry jelly is festive, filo baskets are easy to make, keep for a few days in an airtight container, can be filled w all sorts of festive goodies & seem to impress people massively. Duck, hoisin, cucumber & spring onion is the dcs favourite, bang bang cicken seems to be very popular.

I'm doing a family Christmas afternoon for dh's family. I'm totally stealing the idea of pre freezing the parmiers.

You could jazz up cheese and pineapple by doing different fruits and cheeses. Cheese and pineapple, Parmesan and mango, feta and pear, apricot (dried) and Stilton.

ooh thats a good idea legz I googled "poncy cheese and pineapple" and nothing helpful came up!

Not sure I want to stick them in half a foiled grapefruit so will have to come up with some sort of ingenious display to round off the poncing!

I know it's sneered at but I like the grapefruit as the juice flavours the stick and you get a sour hit.

I'd be dressing up the graoefruits to look like snowmen or something 😂

Hmmm I suppose I could spin it as "retro"

Sorry all just catching up. DD has had the stomach bug going around, I am traumatised
HairsprayBabe I commend your hamper making abilities!
Thanks all who suggested alternative puddings... my issue now may be choosing between

We are contemplating a tradition shake up and wondered about people's thoughts. We are considering going European and having our traditional christmas dinner on Christmas eve. I insist on making everything from scratch, and this way I won't miss out on time with DD and future DCs on the day itself. We would then have a poncetastic buffet/pie on the day itself.

Does anyone do this?
Any thoughts?

Oooh yes European is vair poncey, you can have a cheese and pineapple hedgehog like me - see upthread

And start some lovely european traditions like "the Christmas Pickle" or
one gift before bed - PJs obvs like the german children do in the nutcracker,

Can't think of any others!

My top canapé tip is that you can make croutons really easily by cutting bagels into little rounds by slicing vertically all around the circle and then spraying them with oil (and rubbing with garlic if you want to) and putting them in the oven.

I have a plan to turn an old wooden toy oven (now missing a door) into a dolls house/side table by removing the knobs and painting it. My children will still play with it for another year or two, but after that it will be a useful piece of furniture which visiting children can play with.

I am going to catch up later but thought I love this thread! So far I have jam, marmalade and Christmas chutney. Got mincemeat to make this week and just received my new stamp set for the season!

Can you show us your stamp?

Yes it is warmth and cheer by an American company which you buy via demonstrators (never met mine just follow her blog) This is why I love Christmas. I may not be the best but I love creating and making stuff.

www.skullandcrossbuns.com/products/cat_900621-new-designs-and-products.html

I've had some lovely ones from here. I'm considering the geometric polar bear

That is very cool. Any ideas on colour scheme? Mine is tradional with green, red and Kraft.

I'm thinking ice blue, silver and glitter over the top.

Mummy what have you done?! I love that stamp site!

Roast chestnuts for your canapes, Hairspray? My dad loved them at Christmas.

Or roast nuts, perhaps gussied up with spice? I tried sriracha and honey roasted cashews this summer and they were lovely. (Not made by me).

We do a big dinner with opening of presents from family/friends and from each other on Christmas Eve. I usually have a baked chocolate pie for dessert. Dinner is almost always lasagne or some other easy to make ahead Italian dish. This year I may make a Chicago style deep dish pizza using my bread machine for the dough. It went down well last time I made it and the bread machine makes nice dough. On Christmas morning we just have Santa Claus gifts under the tree and the stockings (they are small) are filled with chocolate. It's a long night for Santa Claus but now that the youngest DC is 15 nobody gets up at the crack of silly o'clock to try to catch me The Man Himself.

Felt like a proper Earth Mother yesterday- went for a walk with DS in sling to get him to sleep and picked the last of the black berries and some rosehips. Noticed there were a lot more hawthorn berries than anything else, did a quick Google and found you can make various jellies and syrups with them so picked them too. Going to go out again today as it looks like you need a lot!

Mummy those stamps are excellent. I'm also a big fan of the polar bear, or the scandi snowflake. Argh maybe I'll print my wrapping paper this year. Do love an elaborate wrap and family have come to expect it now!

IVE JUSt bought the bear, stag and new bauble while she has 25% off the new ones. And some silver, white and blue inks. I'm going to buy some cheap white luggage tags and stamp them for gift tags. I'm also going to stamp some brown paper for wrapping too. And maybe make some paper bunting with it too.

Oh and do place cards and food tags for my buffet party with them.

I just bought the bear and the star stamp and picked up some copper ink from hobby craft. Going to stamp onto brown parcel paper as well! Excited!