Poncetastic 2016

[WaitingForEgg]

Ok this thread may commence from midnight in honour of Fellatio. I sadly abandoned last years mid run due to pre-eclampsia and early birth of my December baby and therefore fully intend to throw myself fully into this years festivities:

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Let's surpass all poncestastic pasts please

Jasper that's gorgeous.

Pinterest is a great source of ideas for kids Christmas craft.

Hobby craft have loads of cheap craft kids in to make all sorts of things. Go and look and buy the bits separately. Polystyrene balls covered in tiny multi coloured Pom poms will be easy and fun. Making Pom Pom bobble hat hanging decorations looks fun and I'm going to try that with my 3 year old.

Three rectangular biscuits stuck together with royal icing to form a triangular prism and then decorated with icing and sweets is an easy alternative to gingerbread houses.

Badders You could do air dry clay ornaments and tags, easy for children and they come out rustic looking anyway so dosn't matter if it's a bit shonky/kiddy

Some nice ideas, thank you

I think the key to pouncing with very young children is to understand that they will engage very intensely with one aspect of a project and then lose interest. Mine loved spooning icing sugar into the mixer and watching the little sugar clouds go whoof but were uninterested in actually using the icing to stick the gingerbread house together. They spent nearly an hour cutting out shapes from our cinnamon and applesauce dough but no interest in painting them or stringing with ribbons.
As long as you don't take on an activity that can't be safely abandoned at a moments notice, and don't get over invested in them engaging with a process, the kids can ponce too!

Just back from a walk in the woods collecting lovely little larch cones. Now if I can just persuade the kids to hand them over ......

Rowboat thanks

Sorry Badders, I misread and thought your youngest was 2.

Amy my youngest is 12 months and eldest 3 and I very much appreciated your thoughts. Thank you.

I did my first poncing aged 2 it is one of my earliest memories, Made some paper decorations with my mum.
She got the Art Attack Template through the fax, traced them out onto red card and I helped to put green glitter on them. She then stuck thread onto them and they were hung on the tree. We did a Father Christmas, a cracker, a bauble a present and a Christmas tree. They still go up on the tree now though they look a little bit battered!

I'm ready to make the Festive Gin...I've got rhubarb and rather fancy adding ginger.

Anyone done it, got a hint on quantities?

I'm also about to finish knitting a chameleon for Small and then five Christmas stockings for the rest of the Tunnocks. Ambitious, but, I've had the wool for five years...

Top tip for homemade decorations - get a laminator.

Someone told me to do that when they were bringing home glittery shambles from nursery. I preserved and strung them all - so, our tree is resplendent in loads of shambles. They get less random every year, and, this year I think we'll only have home made shit on it.

I'm chuffed to bits when they make stuff - and our box of decorations is probably the only thing I'd save in a fire. Well, after the actual people, obviously.

Poncing will commence today! Been inspired by someone upthread and going to make the grape and rosemary jelly. Don't have a muslin cloth but found a clean bandage! I normally make nigellas chilli jam and jamies chilli and pepper chutney as well.

Quick question for those making the flavoured gin and vodkas - how do you drink them? Neat? Or with the usual, tonic, etc. Also when it is done can yu out it back in the orginal vodka or gin bottle?

Thanks to Hairsprauybabe i think for the inspiration for the jellys and the recipes.

Humphries I use mine in cocktails, neat in teeny liquor glasses or mixed with lemonade/soda water.

Sorry not helpful but it depends on the tipple you have made!

This year I am making a book with blurb.com to include in my hampers, it will have suggestions for cocktails to make with the liquors and recipe ideas for the spice rubs and chutneys. Fairly reasonably priced but it does mean I have to write a 24 page book there may be loads of photos to make up for the lack of text!

I'll Be putting mine in prosecco over the season. I'm not a big neat gin fan.

Ok thanks hairspray. Will decide on one soon.
Here is my grape jelly dripping

May I join in please? Am not particularly crafty or poncetastical, but I do like to make a wreath for the front door, and the dolls house gets its decs up (see pic).
DP and I spent last winter in Granada, where dozens of beautifully made Belenes can be seen all over the city; they are model towns with scenes from the Christmas story dotted around, from the Annunciation to the massacre of the innocents! Some of them are enormous and there are lots of lighting effects, even moving parts and running water. I've attached a photo from an Italian-style one.
So we set to and made our own mini-Belen from found and recycled materials (see photo). It was such fun, I really want to do one this year, maybe a little more ambitious as we have more resources at home.

oh I love it that you ponce in the dolls house! But you need a tiny little laptop, with a teeny image of the mumsnet poncetastic thread on the screen!

We cover ours with cotton wool snow and set up the Christmas crib to one side, and then we fill the house with every little figurine we have, from different play sets, on makeshift beds so that the "inn" is full. DS did it one year and it's stuck as a Christmas tradition ever since.

I'm renovating a second hand doll house for me dd which will be full of delicate miniature Victorian furniture that she will be forbidden to touch and that will absolutely have to have its own poncetastic decorations for Christmas. Not likely to be finished anytime soon though.

I'm making some of these as gifts for parties over Christmas. Very straightforward even for someone like me who struggles to sew in a straight line.

Great idea about the laptop, Amy, in fact the dolls don't seem to be very technology minded so far but perhaps they should be dragged kicking and screaming, etc. I love your overcrowded inn, that's lovely. Are you making your own furniture for the Victorian villa? Am impressed.

Sadly poncing doesn't extend to homemade furniture but I am designing wallpaper, laying wooden floors, glueing lollipop-stick-ends to the roof as slates and making soft furnishings and some chandeliers. DD will probably have children of her own before its finished.

What beautiful ideas for the belenes! I love the full Inn too.

Wrt dressing for Christmas day?
I mean to do it every year, but normally we have a late and really big breakfast, and then I launch into prep for dinner - we shoot for a 5-6 o'clock start to the dinner so I get the turkey prepared, make a pumpkin pie (we like it the day it's made), peel potatoes and sweet potatoes, prep sprouts, make giblet stock for the gravy, sometimes make turkey liver pate, and then try to have a shower after all of that and before any of it requires any hands on attention in the kitchen. Some of us never get around to dressing. We dress up the night before for Midnight Mass.

Amy I think you should start a thread for dolls house renovators. I'd love to see what people do. Chandeliers! The lights have fused in my house and I have neither the will nor the expertise to fix them.

Those doll houses are so sweet love the little paper hats! Sadly I fear they may look slightly creepy in my house as there are no children yet!

Have decided I am throwing a cocktails and canape party for friends on the 17th so need to come up with a good list of canapes for about 15/20 people. I was thinking 3 sweet 2 veggie 1 fish 1 meat, and 3/4 signature cocktails to serve. Theme - "Puttin' on the Glitz" sequins mandatory!

Hairspray are you making the canapes or buying them?

I've always fancied making these - Nigella Lawson Honey Roast Sausages

I have got a few ideas on my Pintrest Board - Christmas Yummies but please please please do cheese and pineapple! I love it but apparently it's naff If you can't do something naff at Christmas, when can you?

Making, wouldn't be poncing if i just bought half a dozen boxed of Tesco Mini pizzas and eclairs!

I was thinking
Mini chocolate mousse pots - served in plastic shot glasses
Strawberry cheesecake bites
Mini mince pies

Cheesy spinach puffs
Cranberry glazed turkey meatballs
Beetroot and salmon blinis
Crostini with tomato and herb salsa

I want to find a way to ponce up cheese and pineapple now you have said that though!! I love cheese and pineapple!