The Mumsnet Nativity Play, Christmas 2006

[TheMumsnetNativityNarrator]

Good evening, ladies and truckers.

The children have worked very hard this term to bring you this, so without further ado, here is the Mumsnet Nativity 2006.

*

This is the story of Mary, Joseph and the birth of Baby Jesus. Along the way we shall meet shepherds, angels, wise men, a crotchety innkeeper and all manner of animals.

Our story starts with Mary having a very special visitor...

Right lets get this place tidied up....FFS straw is so yesterday.

Er, thank you, Mary.

I bring you glad tidings. You are to have a baby.

But you've got to walk a long way first. With a donkey. And an ass.

Oh, sorry. Your husband Joseph. And an ass.

Mary and Joseph had to go on a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooong journey ( waves at mum and chews sleeve)

billy's mummy >>>>

(waiting for narrator to start bloody narrating!)

''BOB de Builder CAN he fixit. Bobde builder yesseecan...ow!.leggo..leggoo mummeeeeee..''

Ooh, are we on Away in a Manger

Tarambarambarambarattle

teacher pushes fed up joseph on stage pulling a v . small wooden donkey

Pass me the Anti Bac this place is a disgrace......

Mary and Joseph walk round stage 4 times looking at teacher who loudly whispers stoooop after the 8th time

And so it came to pass, when Qu...
Kwi...
Kuri..
[starts to hyperventilate]
Quirinius

was governor of Syria, he ordered a census, and everyone went to their own town to be taxed

and Mary went with Joseph to Bethlehem in Judea, because he was of the hosue and line of David.

But when they got there the twonw as already busy...

[looks sternly at innkepper who is picking her nose]

Rat a tat tat
Rat a tat tat
No No no

Ther isnt any room and you cant stay here
There isnt any room for strangers

Rofl

[kicks innkeeper sharply on the ankle]

CRASH!

PercussionSection drops drum!

Exits stage left, as though forcibly (!) removed from stage by a stressed Mrs Malory Towers

...

Enter grumpy innkeeper who wanted to be the main keeper not the NO rOOM MAN