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Original poster

I told DD the elf on the shelf was moved around by parents not magic, I think I'm about to become a social pariah

141 replies

R0nJ0n · 03/12/2015 13:33

I don't do the elf on the shelf. What other people do with elves is none of my business, but I personally find the whole thing a bit forcing Christmas magic overkill, and the elves are damn creepy.

DD, aged nearly 8, was asking me about the elf on the shelf this morning as she'd heard about it at school. From time to time I set some of her cuddly toys up in amusing tableauxs while she's at school. There's no pretence it happens by magic, she knows I do it, so I told her the elf was kind of like that and at night a mum or dad puts the elf in a silly situation for the children to find in the morning. After a bit of grumbling about why don't we have an elf (because they freak me out a little and life's too short being the answer) the subject was dropped.

Several hours later I was in Asda and it suddenly hit me, I'd told DD the elves weren't magic, but I didn't tell her to keep that to herself. She's not the sort of child who'd maliciously spoil the magic for others, but she is a pedantic little thing who likes to correct people when they're wrong. Added to this several parents of her classmates take the elf very seriously indeed, they go the full monty with special North Pole breakfasts when the creepy wee buggers arrive, and compose highly elaborate scenarios for him (Is it a boy?) to be found in.

By tommorow morning I'm going to be on the receiving end of some cat's bum mouths, aren't I?

OP posts:
AndNowItsSeven · 03/12/2015 14:40

Trauma of discovery cousin Chloe? Nope just magical childhood memories to look back on.

CousinChloe · 03/12/2015 14:43

That's good AndNow, I know plenty of people who don't mind it when they find out, but some people do so that's one issue we've decided to avoid for our DD.

Original poster
R0nJ0n · 03/12/2015 14:43

AnnPerkins I can imagine that doing the elf for many people probably starts out as a fun idea, but quickly becomes a chore especially if you find yourself forced to do it year after year.

OP posts:
BigginsforPope · 03/12/2015 14:47

Neither is it a trauma to have a childhood without Santa. We have never pretended Santa is real to our dcs. They have still had magical, fun childhoods.

FWIW I hate elf on the shelf stuff too.

birdsdestiny · 03/12/2015 14:47

OK I must be very old but what on earth is the elf on the shelf. Have two DC age 11 and 6, and have never heard of it. Mind I am struggling to think of different things to put in the bloody advent train that I decided was a must have this year. Its probably for the best I don't know.

AnnPerkins · 03/12/2015 14:48

R0nJ0n, yes, the elf starts out as a fun addition to the household and soon becomes a tyrant who rules December!

Same friend is regretting the big fuss she made about the Tooth Fairy, whose letter she wrote in rhyme and printed in swirly font and sprinkled with glitter - not thinking that kids lose 20 milk teeth altogether...

Spidertracker · 03/12/2015 14:48

I've only ever heard of the elf in the shelf on here. I don't think it is a big thing to be spoiled.
I have never discussed whether Santa,tooth fairy,god, whoever is real either.
I have a nine year old who has concluded these things aren't real but that you never tell anyone who does believe in any of them that they aren't. I think that is a really mature attitude and it would be lovely if everyone thought the same.
My 6 year old believes in all those things and more she can draw her own conclusions as her brother has as she gets older, you can't force belief or disbelief in anything on anyone.

TheEagle · 03/12/2015 14:51

Does the Elf bring presents? It always just looks creepy to M&S

TheEagle · 03/12/2015 14:51

M&S??? ME!

randomcatname · 03/12/2015 14:53

CousinChloe, I'm very amused imagining the conversations your dd will have with old folk in the street. I'm picturing her with a wicked glint in her eye as she 'plays along.' Xmas Grin

I love santa and do try to make it as real as possible, to the point where santa rips bits of his coat on the brickwork of the chimney. This will be my eldest's first xmas knowing the truth and he's almost 12. He asked and I thought it best he knew before high school. I could see he was a tiny bit disappointed but he loves playing along for his siblings.

As for elf on the shelf, not a chance. December is hectic enough without bringing something else into it! I can see the fun in it though. I don't think it's an established thing in the UK though so I wouldn't worry too much about your dd, OP.

thunderbird69 · 03/12/2015 14:55

I've never heard of the elf other than on here - I'm guessing it is something quite new that has apepared since my kids were little.

I really can't believe that 7 or 8 years olds actually think there is an elf living in their house?! surely they know it is just a game that their parents are playing.

Original poster
R0nJ0n · 03/12/2015 14:55

birds I'm not sure I fully understand the elf myself. I think it's meant to have been sent by Santa to keep an eye on children in the run up to Christmas. The elf arrives on December 1st to some fanfare then proceeds to get up to nightly shenanigans, the results of which are found by the children in the morning. After Christmas it then flies back to the North Pole to rein again next Christmas (if you can be arsed to do the whole thing all over again).

OP posts:
TheEagle · 03/12/2015 14:57

Oh God the Elf sounds like a lot of hard work! There's something we won't be adopting.

Don't worry OP, I'd say it won't be a big topic for discussion.

Original poster
R0nJ0n · 03/12/2015 14:57

It looks like this.

I told DD the elf on the shelf was moved around by parents not magic, I think I'm about to become a social pariah
OP posts:
LetGoOrBeDragged · 03/12/2015 15:00

Those elves are creepy!

Don't worry OP, I told dd that Santa doesn't care if she's been naughty - he's going to bring her presents anyway! Wink

Bet that will make me unpopular with some other parents, but sod it, I'm not going to have my child worrying about this stuff!

TheEagle · 03/12/2015 15:00

You see?! Creepy as anything! I'm not having one of those in the house watching us Xmas Wink

Spidertracker · 03/12/2015 15:01

I didn't realise it had to be a particular elf. Also that doesn't even look like any elf I've ever seen.

PixieChops · 03/12/2015 15:03

I'm Pagan so I go for the whole Santa thing to be honest. Better than telling kids about Krampus. Now that would shit them up (look it up he's a lovely guy- maybe not if you're Christian though because he looks a bit "Satan" like- but he's not satan- he's worse)
My babies are only small at the moment and I'm quite happy for Santa to be called Santa. If I was really uptight Id name him his proper name which is the Holly King. And I'll probably definitely do elf on a shelf when they get older. I remember my mum pretending that we had an elf that lived in our house (only she could see him) all year long called Mr Nobody. He was a bit of a grass and used to tell my mum if I'd been naughty. I really kind of hated him some days but when I found out he wasn't real I was a bit upset. Don't remember being that arsed that Santa wasn't "real". Was a bit annoyed with Enid Blyton when I found out toys don't actually come to life at night. Now that did piss me off.

Original poster
R0nJ0n · 03/12/2015 15:04

It knows when you've been sleeping,

It knows when you're awake,

It knows if you've been good or bad,

It stares into your soul with its unblinking eyes teasing out your innermost shameful secrets,

It lives in your house ever watchful,

This Christmas beware of, the elf on the shelf.

OP posts:
Whoknewitcouldbeso · 03/12/2015 15:06

I'm sorry I shouldn't laugh, but telling your child that Santa isn't real because you want them to believe the bible is factual just has to be a wind up surely?

Whilst I ponder on that I have no idea what my plan is going to be re. Santa and any elves as my son has only just turned 3 and really doesn't get it yet. I'm torn as I totally and utterly believed in Santa, magic, elves, fairies and that I would live in a toadstool as a grown up and when my sister told me the truth at ehem about 9 or 10 I was devastated. The real world just lost it's sparkle and it genuinely affected me.

So I'm quite keen to not go too mad with the magic thing and I also think it's important that kids understand money buys presents, not magic and money needs to be earnt by someone.

I will try not to become totally joyless though as before I found out the truth I was mesmerised and hugely excited by it all.

TheEagle · 03/12/2015 15:08

Thanks R0nJ0n, I may never sleep again Xmas Confused

TheEagle · 03/12/2015 15:09

We were told that robins were Santa's lookouts - much less scary than those bloody elves!!!

INeedACheeseSlicer · 03/12/2015 15:09

Aaargh, that elf is creepy - and clearly evil! And why doesn't it have any feet??

I am almost 100% certain that my DC would not think it was real and would know it was me moving it. Even my 4 year old. Even if I absolutely insisted to them that it was real, their faces would be Hmm and they are pretty credulous love make-believe, and magic and and still enjoy believing in fairies and witches etc etc.
But they would look at me like DD did the other evening when I pretended I could hear her teddy calling her from her bed, wanting her to come upstairs and put her pyjamas on - the "yeh, nice try, mum" look.

DamnCommandments · 03/12/2015 15:12

We've always treated Santa as a game. DD1 seemed to believe until 4. DD2 is 3 and seems to believe. DD1 asked me if the game was true at 5. I told her it wasn't, but less than 30 minutes later she went right back to playing along. She's 7 now and still pretends it's real but knows it's not. As far as I know, she's never given it away to anyone. Meh. Can't get worked up about this stuff.

mouldycheesefan · 03/12/2015 15:17

My children do not want an elf as they have heard they report to Santa on whether or not you have been good ;-) which is lucky as I think the whole elf nonsense is a boring chore,