Pics with all your children's presents hurt me at Christmas

[pinklady159]

I know its not anyone's fult but i find Christmas so hard and feel like im failing as a mum last year i could only get my son 2 presents so i wrapped up so cardboard boxes so when i took pics it looked like he had more this Christmas is going to be even harder my ex left me in August and ive had a horrible year i don't think i will be able to get my son anything I know hes only going to be 20 months and wont remember but I used to love Christmas and want to make it so special for my little boy :( xx

It's just material possessions and materialistic showing off. Christmas is more meaningful then that. Giving your child your attention is the best gift ever long term. Think of the positives, you have each other, your health, a roof over your head, basic needs met. You have the most important things, gifts are extras.

Can you change your attitude to seeing piles of gifts? Stop aspiring to have the same and instead dwell on making life richer for free

Also consider swapping or exchanging items. I'm sure you have some baby baby toys and other baby items you could swap for the next stage

Sometimes the flashiest posts are the emptiest

Oh man, virtually everyone I have on Facebook posts the obligatory "pile" photo on Christmas Eve. It makes the bile rise in my throat. Such a waste of time and money! Your toddler does not need 300 presents! Last year my DD was 2, and she had eight presents to open. She got totally overwhelmed and didn't really enjoy the experience. This year she's got four presents.

We only get DD a couple of things. She's two for crying out loud, she doesn't need a room full of junk that she'll probably toss aside in favour of the boxes they came in. But I have to say, I hate the pics of piles and piles of gifts spilling out from the tree. It's usually people that claim they don't have a pot to piss in the rest of the year, and then they suddenly turn into Loadsamoney on Xmas eve. Not classy.

I have grown up in a country different to the UK. And there it was and still is a norm to get one present for Christmas. First Christmas in the UK I felt quite sad watching how the whole thing is about piles of presents and how unnecessary materialistic it was. My DH nephew around your DC age at a time was inundated with presents, he was absolutely dizzy about the whole thing. He was only interested to open the box, the contents was immediately forgotten. I was watching it thinking how lucky I was to be able to remember few of my Christmas presents 30 years later, how special every one of those single presents were. And how we went to the forest to play with snowballs, make snowmen and decorate a tree with carrots, apples etc. for wild animals to have a feast.

Now that I have DD I will be going somewhere in-between: she will get one present, which will be something she doesn't need, but would make her happy, the rest will be necessary things I would have bought anyway: t-shirts, socks, boots. Mainly so that she doesn't feel that compared to other kids she has been neglected. From financial perspective I could have buried her in boxes, but what's the point? I still want her to remember that ONE present she got from me 10 years later.

All the parents I know who do the photographs end up selling piles of 'unwanted gifts' on Facebook selling sites at around Easter. Every single one.

OP, ignore the braggy Facebook posts. They're not meaningful.

Things don't make you happy; people do.
Exactly this. ^^

My cousin does this on FB every 'present event' possible. She even does it with gifts she has been given for herself! Presents them all tidily on her table and photographs them wrapped up. Bloody weird if you ask me! There is nothing worse than a show off. I joined FB late in the day as I was very anti it. A few years of being on there made me realise that it is the most depressing thing ever invented. Two month FB free again and I feel much happier. It is a bragging thing - nothing else.

I've always bought my kids a fair amount but this year I'm scaling it down drastically. Kids don't need all these toys - sometimes the atmosphere of Christmas is enough, especially at that age. I've read some really good suggestions though. Charity Shops are a really good place to start as you can get some real bargains in them and a toddler doesn't know if they're second hand! Most of my daughters toys are her older brothers old things but it doesn't alter how much she loves them!

Here's a top tip: deactivate FB and all that other stuff in December. Or don't turn the devices on Christmas Day.

The great thing about this age kids is they don't know what is cool/labelled. A child of 20 months will be really happy with some more cuddly toys and there are lots of them for between 5p and £1 in the local charity shops. I know this as one of my children collects them and she has hundreds!

It actually gets harder as time goes on and children start to know what other children have, but that's not the case here, so a few cuddly bunnies/teddies plus what you have already bought plus from other relatives/friends will make it seem like a lovely Christmas.

Whoever suggested the balloons in the box, I thought you meant with the kid inside the box and I was like woooahh!

How DO you delete your FB account, btw? ????

OP, I grew up in a very poor household.
Christmas gifts could be slippers, or curtains but rarely something we'd hoped and wished for. My parents did their best but I wanted it to be different for my two.
So, for my kids, I have tended to go a bit OTT with the presents.
However ALL of them are 2nd hand, so, they've had 'a pile' (not 100's but maybe 15?) but on a very tight budget.
When they were your child's age, I used some of the ideas on here (wish I'd known about the balloons though!)
In recent years, it's been books / toys and once a bike from charity shops or the pound shop. A pile but nothing costing more than £25, I think, and that was the 'big present', most of the others were £3 or less. Certainly I've never had more than £100 to spend on them (joint).
Last year it was much less.
THIS year, I cant even do what I did last year.
They will get up to 5 inexpensive things each and they are now 8 and 11 and the bragging at school about what is being asked for is making me feel a bit rubbish.
I have told them that Santa will still bring them something special but Mum will have to give them something small this year. And I feel crappy due to all the competitive nonsense. But that's for me to deal with.

So, starting with a smaller pile is a very good idea, IMHO!
If you pm me I could probably find a nice condition old toddler toy of ours I could post you if you don't mind 'pre-loved'. I meant to go on the SS but I was too late.

I hope you have a lovely time with your dc. I intend to hug mine tight.x

Deactivate FB if it causes you stress, it takes literally seconds.

Presumably his dad will also buy gifts and a 20 month old toddler won't have any idea what day it is anyway.

Christmas is ages away, there is plenty of seasonal work to be picked up at this time of year. Focus your energy on finding that rather than what others are doing on FB.

Don't take pictures. It's not compulsory.
I find ostentatious picture haul photos offensive.

Walked by our lovely little play park, adjacent to a car park with recycling bins yesterday.

Someone put loads of toys in bags and a lovely little garage/hurdy- gurdy ( for toy cars?) outside the bins for the taking, I presume?

Lying awake last night I visualised hopefully that a little one had seen them and been allowed to go home happily with a prize! (Too many bunny books with happy endings?

Sweet trikes and rocking toys are often left on the pavements here with a 'take me' note. Ages before they go.

Think you must come and stay ,OP.

Why are photos of other people's Christmas presents offensive? Heard it all now. I agree with everything Mrs De V said.

OP, how about wrapping that one present you can afford this Christmas in the good old "box in the box in the box in the box"? He will have a massive present box for Christmas, will be very excited going through unwrapping 10+ boxes and will not even notice he only had one present because the room will be covered in wrapping and boxes.

Looking at the issue from different perspective. The biggest present I have ever received on Christmas was a 2 weeks luxury holiday. It costed DH a small fortune, but when it comes to wrapping the present under the tree, all it was was a printout of booking confirmation from online travel agency. So yeah, no piles of presents that year just a travel guide of the destination and the sheet of paper. He could have filled the whole room with boxes for a fraction of what he spent. Hope this helps you see that lots of wrapping isn't always amazing presents and viceversa. Hope you and your boy have great Christmas! Btw, are you crafty? Or maybe you could make some sweet treats for add presents for your DS?

Thank you to the poster who mentioned a walk in the forest and decorating a tree with carrots and apples for the wild animals. What a fab idea! I'll try my hardest to introduce that to our Christmas despite certainty that trundling along outdoors in the cold is DH's personal idea of hell

You've wrote the exact same post on netmums...

And I will so post pictures on FB if we manage it :D

(we live in a heavily urban area so it would not be showing off anything other than a rare instance of family unity and organisation. Also don't know a single person who posts photos of piles of presents at Christmas!
And MrsdeVere - big hugs :( I cannot imagine.)

MrsDeVere's post is spot on. I hate all this judgement about everyone else and why would it bother anyone at all.

This is the same as all those 'can't stand seeing everyone's holiday/kids/nights out pics' threads. You don't know anyone's situation really and if they were true friends you would be happy for them whatever they are doing. If you don't then you need to remove them from you FB.

Like others have also said, some of the big presents are cheap gifts in big boxes, the most expensive gift I have bought this year are international sports match tickets/hotel stay but it will definitely be the smallest gift under the tree. Also when I ask the DCs what their favourite gift is it will always be a cheap novelty gift that they have been desperate for, never the fancy things. In fact last year the little one said my favourite big gift was X (cheapest gift but big in size) and the best little gift was some tickets to a concert that actually cost about 20 times more for the 4 tickets.