Poncetastic Christmas 2014

[HopeAndStories]

(Posting FellatioNelson's OP from previous years )
_

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

I feel I've found my spiritual home as I'm busy planning this years poncetastic Christmas.

Already have a load of knitted baubles from Arne & Carlos' 55 Christmas Balls to Knit - they are fantastic. Intending to make some more.

Starting on the preserving - have Sloe Gin, rose hip syrup and about to start jellies + pickles and quince vodka.

Big debate is what to do for Christmas and New Year - last year did Danish Christmas with duck, year before Beef Wellington and Tournedos Rossini. Tournedos were lush but blew the budget out of the window. Am half Danish so will still do some Danish bits.

Current plan is turkey crown for Christmas Day with assorted Danish bits and Umbrian Christmas with stuffed capon another day in memory of fab summer holiday in Umbria this year. I'm liking the idea of doing different regional Christmases each year esp as tend to see Christmas as a fortnight not a day

Yes the sprouts are raw. I have a length of foam I am going to duct tape into a ring and the just stick the Brussel sprouts on with cocktail sticks and maybe attach some ivy from the garden to cover up any gaps.

Lurking but keen!!!

Thanks Hope.

stupid asked upthread about chutney.
Really, it's not hard. Find a simple recipe, follow it slavishly, and expect your house to reek of vinegar. Put the hot chutney into v.v. clean, warmed jars and put the lids on a few mins later, while the chutney is still warm. If you cook routinely, you won't need extra equipment - chopping board, knife, wooden spoon, maybe a jam funnel, and a big saucepan. The most useful thing to have a is a friend with an allotment and an oversupply of green tomatoes.

Good luck!

I made the stuffing today and shoved it in the freezer. And then, in a burst of energy, went with DD to pick sloes. Didn't need to buy any gin as I found a stash in the back of the cupboard left from buying too much last year.

I feel I am a ponce fraud. How do I be effortlessly poncey? Planting flowers n shit is never something I'd think of doing!

Are Sloes ready already? I thought they weren't ready until after the first frost?

kundry talk to me about quince vodka!? I was going to struggle through and make quince jelly but quince vodka sounds so much more exciting!

P.s. Love this thread. Have only ever lurked and stolen ideas before but last year made my own wreath, Christmas bunting and already have my sloe gin in a dark cupboard.

Quince vodka is dead easy.

Wash jar in dishwasher. Poke lots of whole in quinces with a needle and fill jar (mine are small ornamental quinces, if you have proper size quinces I'd guess you would have to cut them up so needling stage can be ignored). Chuck in some granulated sugar - up to about a third of the way up the side of the jar. Fill with vodka and screw on lid.

Shake the jar once a day until all the sugar has dissolved. After a week add more sugar if you got the amount wrong.

And then leave it until Christmas

ladysusan I love your advert calendar! Please can you post a photo with the decorations on so that we can shamelessly copy see it in its full glory.

Brilliant - thanks kundry!

Marking my place! Just sat with a cuppa and caught up with you all as well as setting up Pinterest.

Last year i finally made bunting (with velvet ribbon no less). This year i want to tackle a tree skirt. Does anybody have a link to a pattern? I can use a sewing machine but I'm still pretty amateur...

Would like to make teachers a gift too. Last year DD had a male teacher and would have been wasted on him.

I have also decided to have a nigellaesque Christmas party where I float around off my face effortlessly with gorgeous poncy nibbles.

Preparation in advance. This is my motto. Hopefully you lot will keep me on my toes

They look great, GREYCROW, thanks.

I'm thinking for an easy tree skirt I'll just buy a square of felt and cut a circle so it doesn't need any stitching.

this tree skirt is nice

Marking place to read later!

Have made jelly baby and skittles vodka in the past using the dishwasher method. Can't wait to try the Mars Bar version!
My Pinterest boards if anyone wants to take a look;
Salad
Salad's Christmas card ideas

I've looked everywhere for my Cath Kidston planner and Sarah Raven book but I just can't find them :( I did find these with the Christmas stuff in the loft though, including some magazines I bought last year but didn't get round to reading! I can't believe they're still in the wrapper hangs head in shame

I noticed yesterday that Tesco had some Christmas magazines in. I guess I should probably read the ones I already have first though!

Oh bugger, forgot the picture!

I'm a bit worried that people won't like the mars bar vodka

I didn't create the recipe so please don't hate me if you don't

If you like Bailey's, imagine it a lot stronger and you're nearly there

I can guarantee you Hope that I will like the Mars bar vodka

Me too, what's not too love with those great ingredients!

I have bought my Christmas Jumper and am very smug with it. I think I can get away with it for most of the winter too. Dh has this one although he doesn't know it yet so now I just need a little 12-18 months one, although it must be poncetastic - so I shan't be needing any "Mummy's little pudding" or "I've been good Santa" on it

His birthday is now out of the way so I can fully concentrate on yuletide.

Placemarking.

I'm in Lanzarote at the moment which is making it slightly trickier to get into the festive spirit, but my plans at the moment for when I get back are:

Chilli jam - we were given some a couple of years ago and have run out. It's delicious!

Buying some new lights for the tree. We always go red and gold on as big a tree as we can fit, and I think this year we probably need a tree skirt too. I've seen a couple which are exceedingly expensive so I'm thinking I may make my own. JL are exceedingly generous if you order fabric samples from them so I may avail myself of some cream and gold samples from them to cut costs.

I intend to decorate my front door to fully offset the dried hydrangea and holly wreath I have planned (still need to go hydrangea head scrumping first though).

I also have lots of food based plans as we're hosting twice over this Christmas, but have to get through this bloody Macmillan coffee morning I volunteered to bake for first.