Poncetastic Christmas 2014

[HopeAndStories]

(Posting FellatioNelson's OP from previous years )
_

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

Place marking.

We'll be away from home this Christmas for the first time since 2003 so won't be in charge of the full poncery. My DM will be hosting and is very much on board for much poncing. Between the two of us & DH for cooking purposes we should be able to get a fairly poncy festive season going.

I'm really watching this thread for inspiration for a poncetastic Christmas in 2015 when all the building work on the house will be finished and I'll have a proper fireplace with a log burner in it. The architect thought I was off my rocker when I made a change to the sitting room designs solely to get a bigger Christmas tree in.

I'm having a little ponce this year. Making stockings for the DC, and hopefully for DH and me too if there's time.
Will definitely be making the Mars bar vodka - I know a couple of people who would love that!

I am so excited for a season of ponce! Making my christmas cake this weekend (my grandma's recipe which is allegedly the same as Princess Margaret's wedding cake ) which I'll then cut into mini cakes - thinking midnight blue fondant with white royal icing snowflakes piped on the top for this years decoration. Any leftover cake bits will be turned into Christmas cake truffles which were a huge hit last year (got the recipe off last years ponce thread) and will do for teacher presents.

Got a tonne of blackberries which the DC and I picked a few weeks ago in the freezer so need to get them into booze in the next couple of weeks (vodka and either bourbon or brandy).

Last year we made most of our tree decorations, dried oranges, cinnamon stained glass window biscuits, painted salt dough decorations, pinecones and popcorn tinsel which the DC enjoyed for the first 5 mins then wandered off, whilst I carried on in my element and planning on doing the same this year.

Also making the DCs presents this year - a lego under bed storage play table thingy for DS and a bookcase dolls house for DD - so need to give DH a kick up the bum to get started on those.

By the way Hope I found the cheapest way to do bottles was to buy a cheap bottle of sauce (I found some lovely square glass bottles in home bargains last year which had hot chilli sauce in) empty the sauce out into another container or just bin it if it's not something you're going to eat yourself, give the bottles a good wash and sterilise and then you're good to go.

[swoon] christmas fabric! I wish I could sew....

Hearing about the chutneys has made me curious to make my own - where would I find easy fool proof recipes and do I need special cooking equipment???

Thank you for the stating ideas - already loving tartan ribbons and sprayed pine cones.

I'm not sure of an exact idea or vision yet, I just want to steal all your easy ideas. I'd like to make a couple of sets of easy bunting (my hands are not too nimble so no sewing machine stuff) so that the kids can have one each in years to come.

Hopefully we'll be hosting the 13 of us. I think I'd like to do a proper of fashioned cake - I don't usually because not all of us bother with it but I just want to make one for my wonderful Dad. My DH and DD are coeliac but don't care about Xmas cake so it's a nice chance to do a conventional bake.

As I often can't sleep at this hour, I will have a careful read through of all your suggestions now.

So grateful everyone - it's going to be one to remember, whatever happens!

Ooh please can I join in and be poncey too? I'm on maternity leave (baby arrived already) and this is the first year I will have the chance to be proper poncey and I'm so excited about it. I could spend hours trawling pinterest boards and making amazon wish lists for gift ideas.

We are having Christmas just me, dh and our two dcs, but will be visiting family a lot (and having visitors) so would like to wow people with homemade ponce and frippery.
Off to read whole thread!

HopeAndStories thanks for the thread.

Can I ask, does the Mars Bar vodka keep? Just a bit worried about making it too early and/or telling people they need to drink it immediately. Doesn't the cream go off?

TIA

Could all you 24yr old spring chickens consider us oldies .

If anyone is not a sewer, here is an easy idea for a tree skirt. I did this ladt year.
I bought a large red velour cushion cover , (the 60cm one)
Unpick the seams, leaving you with 2 squares.
Cut diagonally across each square, you now have 4 triangles.
Turn the triangles with the 4 points meeting in the middle, making a larger square.
Sew (machine or hand) up the joins, leaving one pair unsewed so you can wrap around your tree. You can then sew or iron on velcro at that join.

Sew around the edges to tidy it up.

If you are really impatient like me you can by pass all the sewing and just use your glue gun. I got some gold braid and glue gunned it around the edge too.

It gives you a square skirt but its an easy way for the less talented sewers. Mine looks great.

dashing I have made bunting before using WonderWeb and an iron. It's probably as fiddly as stitching it but once it's all lined up and ready to go it is satisfyingly quick :o

Ooh one of my fave threads!

I think I followed some of you on Pinterest last year, here is the link to my Christmas board

TheOneWithTheHair - desktop site is on iPad! Don't tend to MN on my phone much as can barely see phone let alone read it!

Feeling a bit lazy today so am off to peruse Pinterest for a while!

I really need to invest in a glue gun! I feel it would improve my life so much

Can I suggest that anything with holly is situated well away from anywhere where it is likely to be brushed past e.g. on stairs, in a hall as it is very sharp and can cause injury or catch on clothes. Also the berries dry up in warm rooms and drop off, they can then be a poisoning risk to babies and pets if ingested. It's a good idea to use fake berries instead. Same risk with mistletoe I'm afraid.

However, decorate away outside your home, foliage will stay fresher for longer out in the cold.

Love this thread! Desperately want another poncetastic Christmas but suspect it won't happen due to me having a very broken ankle and a external fixator metal frame attached until the week before Christmas!

Am following all your Pinterest boards and shall live poncetastically through you!!

Just bought all my dried fruit, mixed peel etc for cake, puddings and mincemeat. I had to buy new spirits this year as I had no brandy, rum for feeding and soaking.

Felix you would love a glue gun. They are so handy.
I agree girlywhirly . Faux berries are the way to go. Its nearly impossible to find berried holly anyway. I bought a few berry branches from b&q a few years ago. The individual sprigs came away easily and can be wired onto stair garlands or put into fresh arrangements.
I do use holly and ivy on a mantel and also along kitchen table. But I put them in fresh flower florists oasis. It lasts for weeks, right past new years.
Another good buy is the glossy spray to make foliage look lush and green. I also use it on my real christmas tree.
I just had a lovely day of poncing, some of it Autumn related though! Picked blackberries and planted up some pots with chrysanthemums for the front door. Does anyone else like all year ponceing too?

Can I ask a silly question? The brussel sprout wreath... are they raw?

I think they are raw! One best for outside the house I think! In a nice cold winter it doesn't smell, sprouts are at their best in frost.

I have an 18 month old, a Christmas baby due and a new house move.

Like wangle - I will live vicariously through you all

Brilliant thanks

I have two star bases ordered and would love to try it for a change for the front door.

Thanks MyMummyRuns, good idea about the bottles

Ainmnua, I'm not sure to be honest. I made it fairly close to Christmas and it didn't last long once the recipients got their hands on it . I just googled though, and came up with this blog post. In the comments section, they say it keeps for 2 weeks in the fridge as the alcohol is a preservative. I think it'd be best giving out small bottles so that it'll all be drunk within 2 weeks or so.

How do make a sprout wreath? That sounds like a fun idea!

I was going to stab the with florists wire and use them to decorate the stars I have

Stars