Poncetastic Christmas 2014

[HopeAndStories]

(Posting FellatioNelson's OP from previous years )
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OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

Ha Mrs Fox, the irony is my mother hates hosting, moans constantly, my Dsis and I do everything other than the turkey and ham yet it is still all too much!

We are hosting a dinner party on the 6th, a hot chocolate afternoon on the last day of term and Hogmanay so plenty to be getting on with!

Haha mrsfox I love your tips! I live abroad so never host, but one day, one day I shall have a house with a bay window in the SE and everyone will gravitate towards my warm and welcoming fairy-lit Christmas gathering!

I'm not sure what to do with them yet but just wanted to share an easy ponce I ponced this evening. I bought this special ice quartz effect fimo clay on ebay - it would no doubt be much cheaper for you Uk based lovelies - and rolled it and cut it with snowflake cutters. The ice effect is lovely and they're all glittery! Maybe I'll use them as gift tags, or maybe make a garland... It was so easy!!

Umlauf Those look great! My try those and might even get DH involved as he's a big fan of fimo.

After a bit of a hiatus (three birthdays, DH and both DC, being my first priority), I'm ready to turn my mind to poncing again. Very late on the cake (fruit soaking at mo.) and pud (although still have one spare from last year, so not all lost), but I am ready to start doing as opposed to merely thinking about Christmas. Would really like to redecorate the hall in white (currently the previous owners patchy magnolia) and then have decorations hanging from the ceiling but maybe that is a ponce too far, especially as I haven't get decided to do about the horrid gas fire in the living room? But now I have the in-laws visiting the weekend before Christmas for the first time ever and I feel the need to up my game...

MrsFox is right, the Cinnamon Zoflora is pretty fantastic; my kitchen smells amazing.

I've also started putting some water with lemon, cinnamon, allspice, cloves etc on my slowcooker and leaving it on for hours.

My kitchen has holes in floor, holes in the wall, wires and pipes in odd places, boxes of random crap everywhere, brick dust on everything and is full of builders/plasterers/plumbers/electricians. There is a tumble dryer in the bay window of my sitting room, in the only place a tree will go. At least I've been able to move the fridge back into the kitchen.

I shall not be poncing this year, apart from a few handmade gifts. Next year, on the other hand, will be truly poncetastic.

Awww Molly, we were in a similar position two years ago.

I AM PUTTING UP THE DECORATIONS THIS WEEKEND!!!!

Just realised how insensitive that sounded . Sorry, they were two different things!

Molly, if I were you I would embrace it
You could fill the holes with small twinkly lights, twine holly and for round the trailing cables and dress the tumble dryer as some sort of modernist tree. Also, I bet if you chucked some glitter about the place you could disguise the dust as snow :o

I could probably put a small tree on top of the tumble dryer. If I were to hang bells from the branches, the tree would probably jingle from the vibrations while the clothes dried.

When we were mid move/renovation we went all out retro. Our decorations were in storage along with most of our other stuff so we raided Wilko and let the kids choose... it was carnage but fab!

So.... Who has fallen and put the decorations up already?

We have.. I'll show you mine if you show me yours... wink

For all my poncing, it looks very average. I want a real tree stamps feet but as we only have one more weekend left at home DHs sensible side took over.

I'm pleased with the wreath and banner I crocheted earlier in the year, I like them together!

The tree is a mix of decorations (we each buy one a year) and there's little I can do about the gaudy taste of DH, but I made a star garland out of air drying clay to substitute tinsel and I think that makes a difference.

How are your Paperwhite ?

Three out of five bulbs blossomed but one has already died... It's official - I'm useless at gardening! My mil is a botanist and so ashamed of me!

Your wreath is stunning Umlauf

Our tree goes up two weeks today. The last couple of years we have waited until DD1 is home from Uni to decorate but she is staying on for an extra week to write two or three chapters of her dissertation so we are going to have the house looking festive for her arrival home instead. I'll decorate the hall and the mantle before the tree goes up without help from the children

I have put up the poncy advent calendar today. It was a kit from the Knitting and Stitching show a couple of years ago. It has just got chocolate and candy canes in though - my children would riot if there were activities instead of goodies

UmLauf We caved and put ours up too.

The weath and garland are fabulous!

Well done you lot!!! Loving the wreath and garland Umlauf and really like Lumpy's basket with twinkly lights.

I am putting the finishing touches to ours tomorrow so will post some pic's then. Made a real wreath today to make up for the lack of real tree [sob] and somehow bought new decorations for the hall tree... sainsburys had 1/3 off!

Umlauf, you are my crafting hero! I've wanted to learn to crochet forever but I'm so impatient and I get bored easily, so I've never actually got very far. But seeing how brilliantly you've got on in such a short period of time has really inspired me. What beautiful things you've made. Especially that gorgeous wreath! It's too late this year but come January I'll make it my mission to start learning and making for next Christmas

Getting the decs down from the attic and found a wreath that I forgot I made last year! Very rustic, green material wound around and decorated with red ribbons, I'll try and get a picture sorted. Also been making little fabric trees (free kit from a magazine). Having a bit of a rubbish day after some dodgy health news, nothing too drastic (I hope!) but more delays on tests etc and gp telling me it could be serious anyway, I don't want to bring anyone down! Just glad that I've got a bit of ponceing to distract me

lumpy so glad I'm not the only one! LOVING that basket - so rustic!

holger I am a mere pretender. My gingerbread house walls are caving in after the caramel seems to have reacted with the moisture in the air (Dhs very scientific explanation) I've killed off my narcissi and my tree is..... faux

I do enjoy crochet though, I have asked for hooks in my stocking. Everything I've done so far has been with a really uncomfortable metal hook I bought for 50p!

owlbethere and sorry to hear you're poorly. It is horrible having to wait for news, especially with your GP 'warning' you like that. Fingers crossed it won't be serious and he is just a prepare-for-all-eventualities type. Would love to see a picture of the wreath.

I'm off to Madrid on Friday for the Christmas markets and nativity scenes, I'm so excited! Hoping to buy our annual decoration there!

Has anyone got their tree up yet ? Tesco has some £20 living ones that I'm considering getting and planting on the allotment after use. I might get one on Saturday.

I finally managed to get the Christmas puddings done yesterday, so I'm quite proud of that. Hope they have time to mature a bit

I have utterly out ponced myself with regards to the crackers. I'm making my own but with mini bottles of port in them . Received the snappy things today!

Only just started DPs hm scarf tonight though

Haven't got our tree up yet,that's going up tomorrow whilst the children are at school.DH will decorate the garden whilst I decorate the tree(I'm really not good at letting him touch the tree)just bough some new decorations for it so can't wait.

I'm going to make a wreath for our front door this year,I'm going to use Ivy that we have an abundance of and some Holly that grows wild near us.

I've already made a small winter scene in the front room for the 5DC,with an old fashioned looking Father Christmas,some polar bears,Robbins and a Seal.

I'm going to be making everything for a North Pole elf's breakfast were going to surprise the children with next week.Looking for ideas for that now?

Do you mean like in the movie Elf? They only eat sugar!!

Haven't yet gone on with much Xmas pouncing due to dc birthdays. This weekend will be making a Peppa Pig cake for ds2 and taking him and test of family to Peppa Pig world. Last weekend was spent turning the house into a whovian wonder party for ds1 and rather botchily making a Tardis cake