Poncetastic Christmas 2014

[HopeAndStories]

(Posting FellatioNelson's OP from previous years )
_

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

I recommend this blog - www.archieandtherug.com/ its the lady from Superscrimpers who got the mars bar vodka recipe trending on twitter after making it on TV. Great gift ideas and recipes :)

Sorry delayed response! Dramas and I haven't managed to get to Hobbycraft. Will go next week - plenty of time to plan.

Very new to poncing and crafting in general so I'm yet to find my niche

Would love to go and pick up stuff to come straight home and get cracking - very open to suggestions and will give anything a go

My Christmas-Jul board on Pinterest. I think there is scope for adding as much greenery as you want with a poncetastic Scandinavian theme. And you could always use red or green instead of white for candles.

I have other Christmas bits and pieces, recipes and decor ideas on there but they are spread fairly randomly around my other boards.

Umlauf That's lovely, I couldn't help with the word inspiration though, there's a lot of creative inspiration here!

I've been having to catch up on my Poncing now I'm feeling better. I've made raspberry vodka (straight from the raspberry bushes in the garden, carefully picked by DS2), sloe gin and blackberry vodka.

Have been collecting sweet chestnuts and I'm thinking of freezing them for stuffing. I don't know how well they will do, but I'll have to have a google.

I desperately need some proper twinkly lights for our tree, we bought some from Woolies all those years ago and they twinkle when they heat up, it's like having candles on the tree, but I cannot find ones that actually twinkle- most flash. If anyone sees any, anywhere I would be very appreciative.

I have no idea on crafty stuff, I am really at a loss this year as to what to do, which is annoying!

I have made a start on my first dog stocking tonight as even the dogs and cat are forced to join in with Christmas ponciness
DH just sat there like
:o

Hello everyone - thanks for lovely messages and lots of ideas already. I've already been inspired to get fireplace man in to have a look at our non-functioning hearths! Hoping he might be able to fix.

I think I will try buying some easy bunting for the mantelpieces. I'm not sure how well my hands will be working but I think DD and my DM will join in and we can do it together.

Everyone in the family is already being super-indulgent, bless them!

Inspired also to order the GBBO book, so waiting for they to arrive.

Thanks Mehsmum, I'll give my first chutney and relish a go!

MrsP I'd say the easiest start would be to buy a few nice glass jars and play around with colour schemes and things to put in them (candy canes, tinsel, favourite decorations, sea salt makes good snow etc)

Garlands would prob be the next easiest/effective activity?

There's crappy Christmas films on movies24, I'm writing lists of what decorations I want in each room, and I plan to go into town later to buy a planner for Christmas stuff. Happy Saturday fellow poncers

And I'm trying to buy a mantelpiece on eBay! Fingers crossed! I NEED one for ponceing so bad!

Hopefully you'll get it Owl how long left? I'm desperate to get a mantle in the playroom so I can go all out there, nothing to do with the art deco mirror in a local antiques shop, oh no!

Sainsburys have 25% off their Kilner range so I stocked up, will need extras for straining alcohol into. I also have the ingredients for blackberry and apple jam (all foraged fruits), piccalilli and pickled onions so I'm in the food zone today.

I am also mantleless and I'd love one. I'll just have to move house. All my pinecones are done.

Christmas sacks for the dcs next.

It sounds like everyone is getting on well.

My name is Sylvia and I am a Christmas ponce. I'm a baker and a cook rather than a crafter but keen to join you. I have started my lists on Todoist (actions) and Evernote (presents and menus). My first action is to make Christmas pudding ... I don't like it but have to stay traditional as otherwise the family will revolt. I'm planning on staying safe and making Delia's... Anyone have any advice to the contrary?

We went for a walk in the woods today and got small pine cones and sticks to make some decorations in half term.

DH assured me they were pine woods.... We got some nice oak leaves and some teeny tiny cones. I've had words!

Let us know how it goes, Stupid (I'm sure you're not, btw).

The fruit for our Christmas cake is soaking in own brand cheapest best brandy in the kitchen, having been weighed etc by two of the DC. We're making the cake tomorrow afternoon.

Last year's sloe gin has now been drained and bottled and this year's started.

I'm about to watch a DVD and think I might crochet a few more holly leaves. Not sure what to do with them yet.

I have done some light poncing today, a rainy day Chez Zebra.

The Zebralings made labels for our jam; we did so using brown luggage tags and Google maps print out to show location of forage.
Ribbon or raffia may yet be added.

girlywhirly, yy to mini crochet stockings with chocolates in. What a lovely idea.

TheGonnagle, what a fab use of rose hips. If I'm near any in the next week or so, I'm trying that!

Last years wreath had shotgun cartridges and pheasant feathers on
MrsFox, how did you do that?

I won I won i won!!! For the massive price of.......

Wait for it.....

99 flippin pence

I am ecstatic!!

I didn't get chance to buy a planner, but I did plan the Christmas dinner menu with mil, slightly disappointed that apparently "starters are not needed" last years soup (Nigella spiced squash and sweet potato with blue cheese sauce) was bloody fantastic! Just a couple of canapés apparently. Hoping there's time to try and convince them!

meh there is a photo up there somewhere but basically it's a normal wreath with Christmas tree offcuts and moss on. The feathers were wrapped in masking tape to hold them together and then the bunch was attached with florists wire. I bodged a hole in the side of each cartridge then attached a loop of wire through it- it was surprisingly easy, even for my limited crafting abilities :o

Love the map label idea Zebra! Excellent poncing.
I'm heading out for sloes today. Its a race every year to get out before my neighbour picks them. Hopefully I'll get a walk for some pinecones too.

What do you all think of this for a project? Would it end up looking just exactly like a stack of lampshades

I've not been able to do any poncing as I'm ill :( I'm living through you all at the moment!

Oh no, Hope -feel better soon.
Could you make some restorative lists? Eg food to serve, projects to make. Obvs does not matter a jot if they don't actually happen.

Thanks Zebra. Yes, I think I'll do that :)

Ikea have some Christmas stuff in! I glanced some nice decs, unfortunately I was busy having a row with DH to enjoy it oh well, another trip needed to inspect fully