Poncetastic Christmas 2014

[HopeAndStories]

(Posting FellatioNelson's OP from previous years )
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OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

Des it cost a lot to have it removed and plaster the mess? Might be the time to get a long term solution?

I am thinking kitsch it up - have a little flying set of reindeer pinned to the wall above, something like img0.etsystatic.com/038/0/6815107/il_570xN.517754370_h1rn.jpg

I'm guessing you'll still want to use it so can't cover it up?

Oops, misread the post. I'd just get it taken out, or buy a nice fire guard if you cant. I had a tealight fire guard from argos, you could drape ivy around it.

Wahoo pinny on I'm in

Issy, I would cover it/box it in temporarily if you find it will be a messy and expensive job just now. You could get your DC to create a picture of a 'fake fire' to put on the front, add some fairy lights and a garland across the top. This is where you can get away with something like this, because DC have made it.

I do like a scandi theme but am worries it isn't warm enough, and may be considered passé in a couple of years... and does it really go with greenery? I usually have a lot of greenery :-S

I think so Umlauf, and if you find you want a change at some point greenery is never out of fashion. The beauty of plain faux garlands and wreaths for example is that you can change the style of them if you wish. Or you could 'dilute' the scandi a bit with some other winter/forest/little animals type decs.

You could crochet some tiny mittens or stockings to hang on the tree with a chocolate in instead of conventional Christmas tree chocs. (Sorry I'm making more work for you aren't I?)

Thanks for the suggestions! Taking it out would be a bit much at the mo (car is going through her MOT today and fixing other stuff around the house over the summer has left us definitely watching the pennies).

I like the suggestion of boxing it in and getting the kids to help decorate - we should have enough cardboard/wood offcuts/old pain/coloured cellophane/spare fairly lights in the loft to be able to rustle up something. Can't believe why I didn't think of it before - previous years attempts of trying displays on the top never really worked to draw the eye away.

Re Scandi style: our Viking cousins have loads of greenery in their houses at Christmas if my thorough and detailed study of their tv dramas on BBC Four is anything to go by. What could be more Christmassy than red, white and green?

Here is recipe for rose hip and vanilla vodka. I made it because there were so many rose hips along the canal when I was looking for sloes it seemed rude not to!

I had approx. 10oz rosehips, halved. (use however many you have, the more hips the stronger the flavour and amazing pink colour)
2 tbsp rose water
1 vanilla pod, halved and scraped
1 tsp sugar for every handful of rose hips
1 bottle aldi vodka

Apply all ingredients to large jar. Shake judiciously when ever you remember. Keep it somewhere cool and dark. Strain through muslin and bottle in about two/three months time.

Issy I had a side board once that we covered in a cloth (orange in autumn, white in winter, yellow in spring) and the kids put little treasures on it like cookers, pine cones, flowers, a little stone etc. at Easter we made little animals from clay and tissue paper bees and flowers hung from a twig.
I like the rustling a box together and decorating though. You could put a shelf above it and hang fabric with painted fire on.
Have you got red and yellow cellophane. Could you cut fire/flame shapes in cardboard, stick sellophane to it and then put a light behind?
Ok will stop now.
Off to crochet a snowflake

New to poncing - heading to Hoobycraft tomorrow... what 'essentials' should I be purchasing?

MrsP what is your speciality ponce?

Do you crochet or knit? Do you want to make your own cards? Do you want to make cookies or sweets? Do you want to craft with DCs? Are you looking to make some decorations? You will be able to get everything to make a wreath for example or some paper mâché shapes (to paint or cover in decopatch paper)

Personally I'd do EVERYTHING so I tend to go in with a specific shopping list or project idea otherwise I'd end up blowing a month's salary and not having enough time to make all my projects.

Just marking my place. Dear god, 12 pages and I'm just starting to read! Love this time of year!!

I have lots of greenery with my Scandi theme too. I also know I will bore of it in a few years or it won't match if I change the décor etc but that is just a fab excuse to buy different decorations at a later date .

I currently have greenery, red, grey and neutrals.

Speciality ponce! Loving this concept Woolly! But what to choose.... (and what an entry for your CV: GCSEs, ALevels, Specialty Ponce)

I'm going to giggle about this one all day.

Chilly thanks. We definitely have red cellophane and are likely to be visiting Hobbycraft this weekend (need googly eyes for our Xmas cards and having checked online their prices aren't extortionate for once!), so will see if we can pick up other colours.
I think I'll try making a cardboard fire surround with a pretend hearth, cellophane flames and some of our spare fairy lights behind as orginally suggested by WildFlowers
It may look wonderful, it mat look horrific - won't know until we've tried

Hmm... I'm still not sure about scandi.. I will take a trip to IKEA at the end of the month on a scout out and see if anything leaps out. Maybe "woodland" would be a good theme, as it could take scandi elements and highland elements.. I could still use tartan!

I have made this bunting but I need help with decorating it. I was toying with writing a word but just cannot find the perfect term - "hallelujah, rejoice" etc are lovely and poncey but look a bit silly with the wool, "peace and joy" too American, and I only have twelve little flags. I was considering "silent night" or "o holy night" but am not sure that text is the way to go. Maybe little motifs on each one, like in the picture? What do you think? (they aren't stitched on yet)

I like the motifs but how about

LET IT SNOW!

DECK THE HALLS

I am very particular.. For let it snow I would want an icy blue colour scheme - this is too warm. Deck the halls.... Not sure...!

'PONCETASTIC!'

Matalan had some good woodland themed christmassy things when I went in yesterday. All very lovely and cheap too.

We may be moving house before Christmas so I'm sort of in a poncetastic limbo. Don't know if I should start now or wait until we move, but then I might not have any time left. A million non-Christmas related things to do!!

I think I might do "noel" and motifs on the blank letters.... Poncetastic?

felix start now with the decorative things. Food is harder to transport... will you be moving far?

Felix, have a good clear out of everything else, and you will have room for the Christmassy things. You will be doing that anyway if you're moving. You want your new home to look lovely for your first Christmas in it, and for all the visitors who will want to see you! There might not be anything left if you leave it too late. And if you don't move until after New Year you'll still have them.

Not far at all, only around 12 miles so could transport food really. I feel like I have so many other more important things to do but I want to PONCE, damn it!