Poncetastic Christmas 2014

[HopeAndStories]

(Posting FellatioNelson's OP from previous years )
_

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

I think you have to row in IKEA owl , there's some kind of law regarding it :o

Joining in if you'll have me, I laid off the ponce last year as I had a newborn but I'm looking forward to poncing it right up this year!

Ha ha at the IKEA rows. DP and I don't attempt joint IKEA trips anymore since he lost DD there when she was 2 years old and I didn't speak to him for 3 days. Now, I have annual pre-Christmas trip there to have a look and eat breakfast in peace. And DP goes there quite often on his own to look at rugs and buy batteries and candles.

Not much poncery happening here yet but I have been looking through nigella's Christmas and trying not buy any more decorations...

Oh Hope, I hope you feel better soon.

Enjoy making your plans.

Started the quince vodka today. Thanks Kundry for posting the recipe. Also mixed the fruit for this year's mincemeat on the food and drink front.
Craft wise it was less successful as the walk to our local Hobbycraft with the dc, failed to yield 5mm googly eyes (for the cards) or yellow and orange cellophane (for the faux hearth to cover the gas fire). Did get card to cut up and fold and brown poster paint for our cards.
So overall I think a successful mini-poncetastic weekend.

P.S. It probably helped that we avoided Ikea - John Lewis for mil's birthday present was back enough

I think you're right Fantastic. We weren't the only couple

Picked up the mantelpiece! Needs a little bit of tlc but nothing too bad, especially for 99p

Now I need to research garlands and stocking hangers.

Planning a trip to the range this week so I sure to get some craft crap essentials for crafty ponceing. I really wish I could crochet for pretty star garlands, but I just don't get it! So I'm thinking paper chains or pompom garlands instead. Research trip!

Can't remember who it was who wanted to cover up the fire, but I spotted this on the Dobbies website today www.dobbies.com/buy-online/christmas-shop/christmas-home-accessories/santa-with-sleigh-fireguard-63cm/#sthash.uxXS6phn.dpbs and thought it might be perfect!

Who knew there was such a thing as a xmasnfireguard!

there's loads on ebay too

I don't know if I think they're awful or brilliant! They're so kitsch. :)

They're fab- I think, but if anyone does by them who has an open fire, make sure they are spark-safe as some apparently aren't.

I am hoping to make some knitted covers for jam jars and I'll light them using LED tea lights or small battery fairy lights.

Does anyone have a good recipe for a lightly fruited Christmas cake? DH isn't overly keen on a fruit cake but Christmas isn't Christmas without a cake.

Pink, Delia has a light Christmas cake in her Christmas book. I think this is the same recipe, although I think pineapple is a step too far Light Christmas Cake. I think her suggestion of a Dundee cake is a better alternative.

Or you could just do something like a Simnel cake which is lightly fruited.

Or ditch the fruit cake altogether and go down the yule log route (yum, chocolate) or, similar to a Black Forest Gateau, a Brandy and Prune Gateau (it has a chocolate sponge which is split into three, soaked with brandy then layered with whipped cream/mascarpone and a reduction of prunes and brandy. I made it for my sister's 21st and it was absolutely gorgeous. I can still remember the taste over a decade later. I am tempted to insist to DH that he has it for his birthday next month!) Anyway, if you'd like the recipe, I can type it out (it's from Good Housekeeping).

Katie It was me with the awful fire that needs to be hidden. Thanks for keeping it in mind!

I bought some warm white battery operated fairy lights today from The Range for £2.99. I think I'm going to use them on my mantel (I don't like trailing wires) and get some more for twining into my staircase garland.

Ok I will be on mat leave from early Nov so attempting my first poncetastic Xmas (we are moving not too long afterwards so I can bin any really awful crafting failures and try again for new home next year!)

I am hoping to learn to crochet some decorations so does anyone know of good beginner books or online tutorials?

I was also thinking of making some tree decorations out of felt - are the kits any good or better to just have a go freehand?!

Pink squash, I detest Christmas cake normally but a couple of Christmases ago made the Delia creole cake, that was a bit nicer than I expected. This year I am trying chocolate fruitcake a la nigella.

I had to have a tooth out on Wednesday so to cheer myself up I made my first purchase towards my 'Christmas in Narnia' theme. These are so cute! From Sainsburys. I got a baby one too but ds made off with it. I love these so much.

This thread needs a like button. :)

For great crochet tutorials, look up the Attic 24 blog. Great tutorials with fab pictures.

Good morning ponceurs.

The beautiful Boden Robin jumper I ordered has arrived and it is really nice. On the fitted side, and beautifully soft, and quite thick and wintery. It has also just been reduced by quite a bit, so if anyone is hankering after a poncey Christmas jumper, I would recommend.

LadySusan they are sweet. I like the sound of your Christmas in Narnia theme too. Penshurst Place is doing a Narnia experience this year but I panicked by the petting farm's rapidly depleting slots and booked that instead. Is it OTT to visit Father Christmas twice, when my 1 year old either won't have a clue or will be scared of him!?

funchum I would also recommend Attic24 blog for tutorials. Her holly leaves were the first thing I made. I learned the actual stitches on you tube.

Umlauf, I have that one too. My theory was it is more a 'winter' jumper and therefore I will get more use out of it! I actually had it on yesterday with a blouse, jeans and boots .

I am off fabric shopping this afternoon to make a rag wreath and light up garland.

I've just ordered some 100ml glass bottles from Lakeland along with other unnecessary things! so Mars bar vodka is definitely on the cards! Oh, I did get a wreath holder for the front door too for only £2.99. Now to make a wreath or buy one?!

I've also bought lots of salt, flour, paints etc and I'm going to make salt dough stuff again this year. I'm also going to attempt to make a salt dough hand shaped ring holder for a gift or for myself if it turns out pants... Not sure if it'll work out well. We'll see.

Still stuck on the sofa today. The doctor's not totally sure what's wrong with me. I apparently have gastroenteritis, but that doesn't explain why I spent the night the other day nearly fainting all the time and thinking I was going to die and the constant feeling of a belt being around my stomach plus dizziness since then... and on top of that I also have a cold and toothache :( Sorry for the moan! I just want to get on with the poncing!

Yay my CK notebook's just arrived. Let the planning commence!

Today's poncing, a pair of heart shaped hand warmers for dd's stocking. :)
Tomorrow I'll do some for both dss.

Hope, enjoy your planner and I'm sending you lots of get well vibes.

Thanks TheOneWithTheHair :)

The hand warmers sound lovely.

I was happily pinning stuff on Pinterest last night and I saw an idea that you can ink stamp onto salt dough. So I am going to try that I think.