Poncetastic Christmas 2014

[HopeAndStories]

(Posting FellatioNelson's OP from previous years )
_

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

I've been lurking on this thread. I pounced in 2012 and poss 2011. I tried to ponce last year but lost it on reading the Sarah Raven book and realising that I was already behind due to not having planned my winter cutting flowers or some such. Think ponce potential for 2014 is a bit limited too.

But I've come out of lurkage to recommend mini baked bean tins or pineapple tins to use to bake mini Xmas cakes - they need to be lined and wrapped well but work a treat.

As you were, Ponceurs.

Well, I think sometimes buying ready made items and customising them is poncetastic. For example, buying a ready made plain wreath or garland and decorating them yourself for an individual look. It's the creativity that makes it poncetastic to me.

This is my Secret Christmas 2014 Planning Book. It has 10 a5sections which are: card list, present ideas, activity ideas, to do list, food ideas, decoration ideas, wishlist for me (I always get asked for a list-i don't give it out unless asked!). I got it from paperchase and I love it!

Hello, I think I'm in the middle of poncing much to DHs amusement. This morning I've made my sloe gin, bought loads of xmas cookie cutters (from Aldi ) and just been to the fabric shop and bought the simply crochet mag with the attic 24 bower bird kit. I'm now imagining a bower bird wreath up the stairs. all of this despite the fact were not hosting this year and it will be jut me DH and DD.

Shameless place mark

Sorry scoob my cookie cutter is just a circular tube - I forgot most people have proper ones! Using baked bean tins is a fantastic idea though!

My raspberries are now infusing in vodka and it looks wonderfully pink! I have also completed my crochet bunting although I need to decorate it somehow. I'm back at work this week though after a long maternity leave and I'm worried about fitting my poncing in

AIBU that my mother won't divulge her secret source of sloes?!

Cheese I bought the Aldi cutters today! They are ace. They also had small bags of dried festive fruit (no idea what to do with it as only a small bag so not enough for cake!) and orange cranberries. Saw the bags of ready soaked fruit but I want to put rum in my cake so didn't get any.

Had a mooch round Hobbycraft today and they had some good stuff. I was tempted by a wooden advent calendar for £15. They were a decent size and plain to paint yourself, but I know I'd make a mess of it! There was a house shape or reindeer. I may go back at some point and get one...

Oh, what a wonderful thread! Only halfway in and several ideas to steal so i shall be back later to read the rest. I love doing homemade Christmassy stuff but as ever my ideas of getting the Xmas cards made over the summer come to naught - the only time I was ahead of stuff was when ds2 was due - if he'd been as late as his brother, he would have been born on Xmas Eve and I think lack of a Christmas would not have endeared ds1 to his younger brother.

So glad to have found this thread. I finished all my Christmas present shopping (online) yesterday. We moved house earlier this year and i am so excited to decorate our forever home! We also have a mantelpiece for the first time ever, so am really looking for some simple ideas to make it look special

mrsfox if you can pick up a plain faux garland, not a tinselt floppy one, one where the branches are wired. It gives a good base for a stair garland.
I put it on first, then my lights in through it. Then I can wire on the fresh foilage, pine cones, cinnamon sticks using the wired branches.
I was in Dunelm mill today and they have gorgeous range if table cloths and oil cloths for Christmas. Some nice scandi style ones.

I want to fashion some sort of oversized wreath, hanging lanterns from a wooden hulahoop to hang from kitchen ceiling. If anyone has done anything like this or has any tips?

Umlauf check out these guys for Nordic nice jumpers for kids www.uglycc.com ignore the name. Great quality and totslly poncetastic. Scandi knitted babygros anyone?

And can I join the gang? I am OBSESSED with Xmas, have just finished our dream kitchen which I plan to blitz with Xmas decs this year!! Yes a whole new floor to decorate! Squeal!

Today I have ponced. I made rose hip and vanilla vodka, which is already turning a pleasing pink colour.
Sloes are in the freezer getting ready to be dunked in gin with their damson friends.
Limoncello next…...

Oh, and I ordered the capon :-)

Ps- what happen to fellatio nelson??

Thegonnagle that vodka sounds lovely, please could I have the recipe?

I spotted a fully blown poncetastic out of control lady in Dobbies at the weekend.
She announced, with great enthusiasm 'Henry I have it, this years theme simply has to be fur. fur with tartan... and red velvet... and gold... with accents of woodland, metallic and sparkle'. 'Henry' actually rolled his eyes!
She literally covered everything she saw with the exception of the pink decoration section!

My planner has been in full swing since August .

coraltoes those are lovely - I found one at the little white company in the end though. A child surely needs an array of Christmas jumpers though, non?

I need help finetuning my theme - I'm in danger of a mish mash. I'm a budget poncer and love homemade, and my home decor is white walls, lots of wood (pine), and hessian/burlap fabrics. For Christmas, my decorations are the one-a-year thing, so no particular theme (although I hide DHs tasteless ones at the back) and we have a lot of crocheted stuff. I wanted to go all highland Christmas, in fact just like Henry's DS wildflowers but will it look laughable in a minimalist, modern apartment. This, you understand, is a decision of vital importance, as it will carry me through many Christmasses to come.

Of course they need more than one, what if they spill something. I'd say at least 5.
DD wore the dress from there for her 1st christmas. Looked fantastic in it.

I don't see why highland theme would look bad. You have the wood and blank canvas otherwise. Perhaps blues, greys and greens rather than reds? I'm thinking blue and silver thistles in nice foliage arrangements. Wreath with blue tartan ribbon woven in. So it is subtle but still highlandy

Alternatively, what about a scandi theme? I love this photo and it looks as if it is using lots of fabrics and different textures.

We have white walls and lots of wood (dark mango). I love the Scandinavian look.

I love scandi too. Ikea obviously is great for that type of scheme

Okay ponceurs, how do I make this old, disconnected gasfire poncetastic? In previous years, despite pouncing everywhere else, I've always failed here. (Excuse the kid clutter - it and the little table are relocated before the season is upon us)

I did some scandi poncery a couple of years ago. Made tree decorations by cutting heart shapes from white felt, stitching 2 together with embroidery thread (blanket stitch) and stuffing with the filling from an old cushion. I stitched red gingham ribbon loops on top to hang from the tree. They look great on my scandi theme tree, and are child proof too - a bonus since my fabulous glass baubles are to remain in the loft until the DC are older and not so likely to smash the lot!

Issy I say embrace the ponce based potential to the max!!!

I would use a staple gun to attach a tight frame of chicken wire over the front of the (Disused, unplugged, no gas supply) fire. Then make a heart in the middle using lovely twinkly fairy lights. Surround the outer edge with masses of tied ribbon (rag wreath style).