Ahem. It's the 25th September, which means....

[FellatioNelson]

That I hereby declare the Fellatio's Poncetastic Christmas Thread Part 4 open for business.

For those of you who do not know WTF I am on about, read this from 2010 by way of explanation:

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

If you want to read the previous three threads for Christmas 2010, 2011 and 2012 search my name in the Christmas topic.

In the words of the great Mike Reid from Runaround, G-G-G-G-G- GO!

I don't think this is really very poncey but I went to M&M World during my lunchbreak today to get red and green M&Ms to layer with other sweets into Ikea jars for presents for children in the family. Now I just have to keep my mitts off them until December!

M&M world?! How have I not heard of this before?

Does anyone else feel like there is not enough time already? I am feeling vaguely overwhelmed. Perhaps I'll feel more in control when I've got a planner.

Yes, it's a 4-storey (they really milk it ) shop in Leicester Square. I think it's only been open for about a year or so(?). A giant walking yellow M&M shook my hand .

I really want to go to the m&m store. My friends had personalised ones as wedding favours :)

Guitargirl I admire your self control. I could never ever have an M&M intended for another person in the house. Several large bags usually don't see the next day

thegreendragonfly.wordpress.com/2012/12/14/hand-made-gifts-sugar-scrub/

this looks loverly

I have found lovely red and white twine on ebay, I am watching it and will get some when we're paid :)

Someone upthread was asking about pinterest, I love it. I google things I want to find and try and find a blog that has hand made chrimbo stuff on it (for example) then pin it. I have a bookmarked 'pin it' thingy and just click that and it gets pinned. I hope that makes a little bit of sense. Or else google something ie homemade advent calendars and then select images and look and see if there is anything you like and click on it and then pin it :)

Thanks LRD. Even in my very advanced state of pregnancy I think I can manage that! Is it OK to just leave it til Christmas or would you drain it to stop the spices overpowering?

Billy I had some last year and it looked good, but its quite slippery so it's difficult to get it really taught. I wrapped my pressies in brown paper and it might be easier to wet the twine a bit to give it a bit of grip and make sure it stays nice and tight.

Mrs Ogg striped bakers twine is way cheaper on eBay - £4.95 for 100m instead of £12.50 at Pearl & Earl

Oh, I'm only sorry you won't get to drink it then! (But congratulations! ).

I think last time I just got DH to taste it every few weeks, and it never got too spicy. But I made it deliberately to use as a base for mulled drinks, so if you wanted it to be something you could drink on its own, you probably could drain it after six weeks or so. Mine's been made for about three now, and you can definitely taste the vanilla and cinnamon already.

Sorry, not very helpful.

moosey - where do you buy ribbon? I really fancy the boxes Cox and Cox do because I'm a sucker for everything on their site, but they're quite expensive. Paperchase seems to have really crap colours at the moment.

Thanks LRD - I am 39+5 so unless "overdue" becomes something of an understatement I hope very much that come christmas I will be in the market for spiced calvados :)

This time last year I made sloe gin and damson gin and it was ready about two weeks before I fell pregnant unexpectedly quickly

I may do a lot of expressing and making up for lost time this Christmas

Sounds good!

I am in awe of Christmas poncery in late pregnancy, btw.

I'm interested in making Sloe Gin but can someone tell me if Sloes and Damsons are the same thing?

If not, how can you tell the difference?

TheOne Damsons are bigger. Sloes are about the size of a large blueberry, damsons are about the size of a gooseberry. If you're picking them yourself, sloes are on a thorny bush, damsons grow on a plum-type tree.

And LRD its all in my head so far but I will pick up some Calvados and TheOne has reminded me to check the greengrocers for damsons. That's the sort of gentle poncery I can cope with :)

Ah thanks MrsH. We have Damsons then.

I have committed myself to a Poncetastic Christmas for the first time. For the first time in 6 years all my siblings will be together for Christmas. I am already so bloody excited I can hardly contain myself although of course it will all end in boozy tears and someone storming out. However, I shall not let reality get in the way.

I have made a start by making some apple chutney. I also have two handmade advent calendars for my oldest children and this is the year my 2 year old will get one of his own. I have made a shopping list for homemade Christmas cake, and then plan to follow it with homemade Christmas pussing. Sadly, I fear I may have missed blackberry season as blackberry vodka sounds very delicious. I will take a peek in Tesco this week to see if they have any late blackberries. If only I had thought of it sooner in the year I could have had damsons in rum as we have a fantastic tree in the garden that produces loads.

I will be following the thread closely to pick up ideas!

oops, meant pudding of course. "Pussing" does not sound very nice.

MrsOgg I have made two felt advent calendars and I am making another one this year. One tip I will give you is to make the pockets big enough so you can fit in a wide range of sweets or treats. So many of my pockets are really tiny and can only fit a candy cane or similar, which makes it a bit tricky filling them all with interesting things.

LRD ribbons were from Crafty Ribbon. I bought x6 Scrap bags (buy 5 get 6th free) and x3 ribbon packs (3 for 2)

My order arrived today and itching to open it but my DD has decided to not to have a nap today. I'm planning of giving her one of the scrap bags for Christmas. And have a feeling it will be her favourite present! Will buy her a little see through storage box for them too.

I've bought a Rusty Bucket Advent Calendar and will fill it with sweets, perfume and aftershave samples (I've been sending off for free ones). On 1 Dec I've got an Enchanted Magic Door for DD (who's 3.5) which I'll set up when she's asleep. If she's been good all week she'll get a little present from the fairy who lives through the door.

Somanymiles there should still be a few blackberries around on the hedgerows, and supermarkets definitely have them.

Right, I have stolen LRD's recipe for an anniversary present for DH - it's our 4th anniversary shortly after this baby arrives and 4th is fruit and flowers . I couldn't get any cheap calvados so I've got brandy instead and I'm sure that will be fine!

Also visited a farm shop I've been meaning to try and they had damsons, so another stock of damson gin will be made.

I picked up a posh bottle for the brandy in Dunelm Mill and among all the tat they had one or two nice rustic scandi decs - wooden reindeers and the like and I picked up a red felt star garland.

can you tell I'm twiddling my thumbs waiting for this baby

www.coxandcox.co.uk/decorative-home/christmas-2013/crystal-light-garland

Cox & Cox have got their Christmas stuff out. Very poncetastic! Love those crystal lights I've linked to. I think they would look mighty fine on my new mantel that is being install this week!

Thanks for the recommendation moosey!

MrsH - yep, bet brandy would be nice.

I'm off to the Dunelm Mill website - I knew there was somewhere I'd been forgetting to browse.