Ahem. It's the 25th September, which means....

[FellatioNelson]

That I hereby declare the Fellatio's Poncetastic Christmas Thread Part 4 open for business.

For those of you who do not know WTF I am on about, read this from 2010 by way of explanation:

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

If you want to read the previous three threads for Christmas 2010, 2011 and 2012 search my name in the Christmas topic.

In the words of the great Mike Reid from Runaround, G-G-G-G-G- GO!

Just at fabric.com
I struggled to find good flannel over here. Its not something the Brits do really.
Glad you like the William Sonoma stuff. They also have fantastic thanksgiving bits and pieces but maybe this is the wrong thread.

Better clicky linky www.williams-sonoma.com/m/shop/christmas/

Just been looking at that Williams-Sonoma link - I want it all!!! The Americans sure do know how to do Christmas! I sooooooooo want to go to New York Christmas shopping one year, but will likely have to wait until the boys (6 and 3.5) are older, as they will just be a pain in the arse and spoil my idyllic dreams of strolling around New York swinging my shopping bags, hand in hand with DH, stopping to sip some eggnog!

I am thinking of making teeny tiny hampers as favours, like a bite size Christmas cake, tiny jar of jam like you get in cafes, can't think of anything else, any ideas? Is this naff?

thegreendragonfly.wordpress.com/2012/12/23/reindeeer-cookies/

These look cute! (sorry for linking too much), I'm sure lots of people have great things pinned already :)

Ok, so it's becoming apparant that lakeland is my poncetastic spirutual home. Armed with my cath kidston christmas organiser, i am off to get some hibiscus flowers in syrup for my christmas day cava.

I am investing in one christmas cook book, can anyone suggest the best one that you couldn't ponce without?

Those reindeer cookies look adorable!

I feel I must confess that last Christmas DD1 was due and therefore I thought I would sort everything during maternity leave ready for a lovely Christmas with a lovely Christmas baby... she arrived 3 weeks early so NO prior leave for me! Therefore no decorations or cakes or anything of the sort. I managed presents, although I had to ask people what they wanted or they got nothing (ponce blasphemy?). In my defence I was in that new baby haze of not knowing who I was, or where I was when dragged to at my mother's for Christmas day.

Previous years however have gone ahead with zero ponce. We hung tinsel as high as possible, maybe one string in each room, and no tree, due to the evil cheeky kitties. Also presents between DH and I didn't happen, just one item we wanted for the house between us.

So this year I would like to create as wonderful a Christmas for DD (and DH I suppose) as possible on the stingiest budget possible; but still no climbable tree allowed...

I may ponce an appropriate amount this year. :-D hohoho!

I missed the start?! How did this happen?? I blame house hunting (which I think is almost done!) I am now going to enjoy reading all of this thread with a cuppa and plan the most poncetastic Christmas for our potential new house

I feel sooo poncetastic today. Have soup on, have been filling bags with pinecones and cinnamon oil to put in the hot press for a few weeks and now I'm going to pick my sloes after lunch.

Does anyone have a recipe for crap apple jelly? We've loads and they never get used unfortunately

Crap apple jelly?

Lmao! Crap apple jelly, it might take off you know

I have a crap apple jelly recipe.

It a HFW one from his Preserves book. It's really long so I won't type it all out, but if you follow this basic link here he says you can use sloes, rowans, blackberries, elderberries, rosehips or whatever you have, in addition to the crab apples, or you can just use crab apples on their own for the total weight of fruit, and add cinnamon sticks and a few cloves for a classic spiced jelly.

I am drying out the cucumbers mixture for piccalilli and soaking my fruit in brandy ready to make the cake tomorrow.

Am dreading lining the cake tin, always the worst bit of Christmas prep for me.

BillyGoat LOVE those reindeer cookies, keep posting! I am not an organised pinterest person. Though perhaps I will start...

ethel thanks for the fabric link, though I fear I have little use for flannel in southern California, [doublegrump]

Thanks fellatio that looks ideal. There are lots of those growing around me. So cross i didn't get my blackberries picked before the hedgerows were trimmed so I only have a small amount of those, not enough for jam but could definitely use them in that recipe.

oooh ethel is this the fabric you ordered?

This may aid everyone in their poncery...this link was on the bargains thread, I have tried and failed to resist adding to my pointless stash of Christmas ribbon - and am now £25 lighter

Anyway, there is a bargain section as well as a new Christmas section which has a 'Have a yummy Christmas' ribbon - cute for home-made foodie gifts!

Crafty ribbons

I am just getting into Pinterest and have a very basic question for those of you who are fans of the site. Ok, so when I type 'Christmas ideas' into the search box it comes up with the same photos most of the time, it looks as though there should be more pages or something but there's only one page on each search. Is it just that there are more pictures when you click on one which leads to more - is that how it works?

I was just scouting around for advent ideas and found this advent activity tree, which I really like, for those with younger DC. Also this Christmas Eve surprise box, from the same blog. DD was only 6 weeks last Christmas but this year I am thinking of the traditions that I want to create for her!

In the quest for Ponce-tastic-ism I have bought........

The Lakeland Limited silicone Fairy Cottage moulds (the small ones) so I can make chocolate cottages and gingerbread ones

The advent chocolate bars (for the DC advent tree)

Little candy canes for their sweet jars

I've got Nordic patterned sheets on order for DH and I

Great link Guitaregirl - thank you!
Have just far too much on poncey ribbons!!

or even ....spent far too much!!
grrrr