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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

Sorry to be the 'party pooper', but does Christmas (or more precisely 'everyone else's Christmas) make you profoundly depressed?

66 replies

MrsSeanBean · 19/12/2011 22:15

I feel such a general failure at this time of year. My house is undecorated (Christmas wise and generally), cluttered, and messy.

I have barely any presents (except for DS) and genuinely can't be bothered.
DH is working Christmas day.
My mum has Dementia.
I will be home alone with DS and feel so sorry for him that I am such a useless parent. :-(
Am I the only one.....?

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escape · 19/12/2011 22:20

No you are not useless at all.
Do you have Christmas decorations in the house?
How old is your son? If you have them to hand it would be really nice for him if you could put something up?
It sounds like you are struggling - I am too this year via various bereavements and seperation, BUT I bet you can find the strength to turn it around, for your OWN worth and therefore your sons - NOBODY has a perfect Christmas, trust me - it's what you make it and the grass is never greener!

joanofarchitrave · 19/12/2011 22:23

Not really - life makes me rather depressed at times, Christmas is a nicer day than most, but then I have stopped doing any Christmas stuff that I don't like doing. Your life sounds very tough, no wonder additional obligations make you feel terrible.

You have a home for your ds, you have presents for him... sounds like you are doing all the essentials right tbh.

Original poster
MrsSeanBean · 19/12/2011 22:24

Thanks escape. Yes I am struggling.
I don't seem to have much in - DS is 4 - unsure where to start. I never used to decorate for 'myself' and I suppose he has been too young until now to notice. He hasn't said anything.
I do have a candle bridge - but it would look a bit pathetic on its own!

What sort of decorations do you have?

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Original poster
MrsSeanBean · 19/12/2011 22:26

Glad Christmas is good for you Joan. I know what you mean about 'life'. I suppose Christmas can (for me) highlight the not so good bits in my own set-up when everyone else seems to be having one big happy gathering.

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HumphreyCobbler · 19/12/2011 22:29

You do have presents for him, you will be fine. Just bung the candle bridge on the table, go out with your DS and get some green stuff from a nearby hedge and put that round it. He will like doing that. Even making some stars made with bits of silver foil will be great fun for a little one. The kids in my class loved making paper chains out of cut up magazines and it was doing it that they enjoyed, not a polished end result.

Hang on in there, I hope you feel better tomorrow.

pinkyp · 19/12/2011 22:30

Perfect time to buy decs - there on sale in most places. Get a small tree let dc decorate it with bauble and tinsel! We have a big tree, merry Xmas sign, hanging decs, lights, baubles handing from string in the window, tinsel in the window. Ds1 (4yrs) has brought some Xmas pics from school home so that's stuck on wall with cards too.

pinkyp · 19/12/2011 22:31

Oh forgot to mention Xmas isn't perfect here too but nobody's is

Hassledge · 19/12/2011 22:36

I think Christmas can be quite a maudlin sort of time for lots of us. To me it's bitter sweet - I do tend to dwell a bit and yes, I think part of that is me kicking against all the faux-jollity. I'm sorry about your mum - that must be really hard for you.

But yes - your son is 4; he won't be 4 again - get some good memories for him. Buy some cheapo tinsel and a few fairy lights and a box of chocolate biscuits or something. And crackers - 4 year olds LOVE crackers.

mogs0 · 19/12/2011 22:36

You are not useless.

Whilst Christmas doesn't make me depressed, I do feel incredibly under pressure at the moment. I usually leave things until the last minute which is normally ok but doesn't leave any room for error or unexpected situations which is what has happened to me in the last couple of weeks.

I'm very aware that my dark mood is having an effect on ds as he just doesn't seem to be displaying the usual festive excitement which he really should be by now. He finishes school tomorrow so hopefully, I can get the bulk of my lists done and we can have a fun couple of days to make up for my grumpy mood.

Have you got any friends that you could call in with on christmas day? I'm having my family over (part of what is causing me distress) but would always welcome any extra visitors! Infact, I am sussing out what my friends are up to as I think ds will be fed up with a houseful of adults all day and would welcome some younger company Grin.

roastparsnipsandbrusselsprouts · 19/12/2011 22:38

Just cut up an old newspaper into snowflakes and put them on the window. Ds will love that, it doesn't cost anything and you can contain the mess if you do it over more newspaper.

It will also make you feel a bit more festive to help him out.

You can also make a Christmas tree by either cutting out lots of your and his hand prints and layering them up a door in a tree shape, or, if you have an old roll of wallpaper and some paint, hand print painting them in a tree shape. Then he can "draw" the decorations on.

Humphrey is right, it is the doing, not the end result that is important.

It sounds like you are doing the right thing though. You have prioritised and made sure you have gifts for ds. Cuddle up and watch a Christmas film with him, dance to Christmas tunes with him from the radio, things like that. It only needs to be 10 mins here and there and it will make you feel a lot better.

No one is having the perfect Christmas. We are all just trying hard to make the best of what we have got and are going through. Don't be fooled into thinking everyone else has it so much better.

Original poster
MrsSeanBean · 19/12/2011 22:39

Thanks for the decorations tips.

The other thing I'm always really envious of is people travelling to stay with relatives.

And I get so fed up of answering 'nowhere' every time when people ask 'Where are you going for Christmas?'

As I said in OP I am sorry to have a moan but it's good to let it all out sometimes...!

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Original poster
MrsSeanBean · 19/12/2011 22:43

Some really good suggestions for activities with DS - you are all so good - thank you.

I must make an effort for his sake. Crackers and 'draw on tree' especially good!

I have to work the rest of the week but can do some of this in the evenings.

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Hassledge · 19/12/2011 22:44

Travelling to relatives can be hell on earth, believe me. I say "nowhere" now and am glad of it - have dug my heels in and refused to travel.

Roastparsnips is quite right - dig any depth at all and you'll see that those jolly happy people travelling to relatives have their own stresses and worries.

joanofarchitrave · 19/12/2011 22:45

When is your dh next off? Could you have a nice New Year's Day together - something to look forward to?

Original poster
MrsSeanBean · 19/12/2011 22:51

Do the main supermarkets still have tinsel and fairy lights in stock? I haven't been down any of the 'seasonal aisles'.

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Original poster
MrsSeanBean · 19/12/2011 22:52

Yes maybe Joan - not sure - he seems to be working most of our lives at the moment!

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upahill · 19/12/2011 23:01

Tesco have a lot on sale at the moment.
They also have a Christmas cake baking kit that all you need is the egg, butter orange and a lemon. Everything else is pre weighed and in bags so all you have to do is follow the instructions . reduced from £10 to £3. You and your DS could make that together.
They have small Christmas trees for £20 ( by the flowers).

A bit of tinsel round the picture frame and the place will look different in no time. Also the Range had loads of Christmas stuff half price.

LondonMumsie · 19/12/2011 23:04

Have you any old maps? Our local Oxfam shop has made a load of paper chains with old maps and they look FAB - really retro and rfunky. Even an old A-Z would probably work.

Original poster
MrsSeanBean · 19/12/2011 23:04

Thanks uphill - will call into Tesco and see what I can find.

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Original poster
MrsSeanBean · 19/12/2011 23:06

Re paper chains - how best to secure ends - with sellotape / glue ...? (Sorry if this is a dumb question but clearly diy versions would need some method of glueing as they wouldn't come with the little sticky tabs)...!!

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WhingingNinja · 19/12/2011 23:09

If you feel that you are somehow doing less than you should, what is stopping you changing that?

Im not saying that you should be tinsling your house to the rafters or baking mince pies like a demon, but if you think your child would prefer you to do more then why dont you?

Oh and i got back from B&Q and they have all their decorations at ridiculously reduced prices. Baubles and tinsel from 50p. I saw a tree reduced from £70 to £8.75!

Original poster
MrsSeanBean · 19/12/2011 23:12

General leathery and depression I suppose Whinging - and being lonely and not having any real people to talk to about this.

It's chivvied me up a bit reading some of the suggestions on here.

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Original poster
MrsSeanBean · 19/12/2011 23:12

leathery? That too - but I meant lethargy

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Original poster
MrsSeanBean · 19/12/2011 23:14

To be fair - I'm not sure that DS wants me to do more or not - but am aware that other people seem to do more - and I feel I am not measuring up.

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LondonMumsie · 19/12/2011 23:15

I would use tape, I think. I am sure tidier people might manage glue, but I'm not good at tidy!