Fellatio's Poncetastic Christmas Thread 2011 is.....

[FellatioNelson]

open for business. Knock yerselves out.

We have Thanksgiving here (this year it is on November 24th) and as soon as the lunch things are cleared away I get all my Christmas boxes out of storage. Last year I hosted Thanksgiving and probably will again this year, and will maybe have an optional ornament-making session after. :)

I think we'll have a naturey-theme to our decorations this year, like these, etc.

afternoon ladies. i am back from my tv debut and am now ready to discuss christmas with you all xxx

CheerfulYank <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=pudding+basin&hl=en&sa=X&biw=1176&bih=569&tbm=isch&prmd=ivns&tbnid=fkiI_GWrMaqjtM:&imgrefurl=<a class="break-all" href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Faringdon-Size-Traditional-Pudding-Basin/dp/B0000BVFT7&docid=JsWW8PrAfzo0zM&w=300&h=300&ei=M1h_TofJC8_xsganq60f&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=434&vpy=106&dur=2226&hovh=225&hovw=225&tx=122&ty=117&page=1&tbnh=122&tbnw=138&start=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0"?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-christmas-1307105-Fellatios-Poncetastic-Christmas-Thread-2011-is" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.amazon.co.uk/Faringdon-Size-Traditional-Pudding-Basin/dp/B0000BVFT7&docid=JsWW8PrAfzo0zM&w=300&h=300&ei=M1h_TofJC8_xsganq60f&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=434&vpy=106&dur=2226&hovh=225&hovw=225&tx=122&ty=117&page=1&tbnh=122&tbnw=138&start=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">This is a pudding basin For the recipe I gave up thread you would need two 2 pint ones. Though the recipe is easily halved.

You MUST MUST MUST have it with brandy butter as well:

4oz unsalted butter, softened
4oz icing sugar (I think it's called confectioners' sugar in the States)
2 tbsp boiling water
3 tbsp brandy

Beat together the butter and icing sugar until smooth, then add the boiling water and brandy and beat again. Keep in fridge. because I am a greedy greedy cow, I also have lashings of double cream with mine too

For the orange slices, I slice them in 3/4cm slices, put them in th eoven on the lowest setting with the door slightly wedged open with a tea towel. 3 hours is usually enough.

So you can make it and just leave it in a cupboard for a month? Is it like fruitcake?

I made mine in April.....

Not really, but sort of! IT's a steamed pudding, rather than a baked cake, but it is delicious.

I would suggest you make a 1 pint one - get a smaller pudding bowl and 1/4 the ingredients, try it, see what you think and then make bigger and more if you like. IF you're a lover of rich fruit cakes, I'd be quite surprised if this wasn't to your liking.

G'wan, give it a go!

And we usually have ham for Christmas because we have turkey for Thanksgiving.

But I could use a good turkey recipe for Thanksgiving...how does one go about brining it?

I'll post my brine recipe in a minute, just about to lob a dirty child in the bath.

Can i join in please? I love a poncetastic christmas
Make all the food from scratch. Over past few years though some of my efforts have been thwarted by c sections, flu and birds down the chimney!

This year i'll be 8 months pregnant but im going all out, i'll stay housebound to ward off flu. I know what food im doing, wrapping in brown paper with twine and a candy cane. Cake is delia which i'll do this week.

But i need help with decorations. I always have ribbon not tinsel, white lights and a little dickension christmas village. No dancing snowmen here. But this year im in an old victorian house. Two massive mantlepieces that i want something traditional on. Can anyone help? Im very crafty type but im thinking pine boughs into a garland etc may not last?

RockStock, I have the very same book!!! I demanded asked DH to buy it for me one xmas when we were newly married many many years ago. I also have a paper back edition of her Xmas book and her book of cakes.

Thanks for the Merry Berry recipe. I will make that pudding!

Cheerful

Here is the Heston Roast Turkey that I did last Christmas - I used a 4.3kg (approx 9½ lb) and it served 10 comfortably on the day, with a couple of decent meals for 5 with left overs.

In addition to Heston's ingredients, I also shoved an onion, 1/2 a lemon and some thyme and rosemary sprigs inside the bird as well so want to put up the arse, but absolutely not uncouth enough for that

Prepare: 20 minutes, plus brining
Cook: 3?4 hours (40mins/kg), plus resting

4?4.5kg free-range turkey
800g salt
200g unsalted butter, at
room temperature
3 onions, sliced
2 carrots, sliced
3 leeks, sliced (white and pale
green parts only)
50ml dry white wine
15g rosemary
15g thyme

1. Chop the wing tips off the turkey and reserve for the gravy.

1. Brine the turkey on Christmas Eve by mixing the salt and 10 litres of water in a clean ­container and stirring until the salt has dissolved. ­Submerge the turkey in the brine, cover with a lid or foil and leave in a cool place for at least nine hours or overnight.

Remove the bird from the brine and submerge it in cold water for one hour, changing the water at 15-minute intervals. Dry the turkey well with kitchen paper.

1. Preheat the oven to 210c, fan oven 200c, gas mark 6. With clean hands, work the skin away from the flesh of the bird and rub 100g of butter between the skin and the flesh, being careful not to tear the skin. Rub any remaining butter over the skin of the bird. Season with salt and black pepper. Set the bird on top of the onions, carrots and leeks in a roasting tin; add the wine and cook in the oven for 30 minutes to colour the skin.

1. Melt the remaining 100g butter in a pan and add the rosemary and thyme.

1. Reduce the oven temperature to 130c, fan oven 120c, gas mark ½. Baste the turkey with the herb butter and cook until the thickest part around the neck or thigh reaches 70c (you?ll need a probe thermometer). Continue basting every 45 minutes (when the butter gets used up, use the cooking juices in the roasting tin to baste). This should take three to three-and-a-half hours, depending on the size of the turkey and the type of oven.

It is important to check that the turkey is cooked by cutting into the thickest part (between the breast and thigh) to be sure that none of the meat is pink, and the juices run clear.

1. Remove the turkey from the oven and allow to rest for at least 30 minutes before carving. Reserve the pan juices and vegetables for ­making the gravy.

Bella I think I have probably got each and every Saint Delia book going! Even the bloody cheat one and I'm not a cheaty cook!

You won't be disappointed with the pud, I PROMISE.

Woohoo!!!!!!!!!
I'm in

Wrapping is the thing I pontificate most upon.

In past years I have done:

brown paper with gingham ribbon and candy canes
brown paper with rainbow coloured ribbon and lollipops
white paper with red gingham ribbon
pale blue paper with white ribbon and playing cards for gift tags
pale blue paper with black bird illustrations on and black ribbon
red paper with huge white ribbons and gold bells

What can I do this year?

Last year I did layers of tissue (black then white then dark purple then light purple or white then black then light purple then dark purple). For special presents there was also a layer of silver or gold. Then some white satin ribbon - for smaller ones there was also a thinner strip of purple ribbon. The year before it was reds, this year it'll be blues.

Pick a colour scheme, get stacks of tissue and then use different shades?

We also used newspaper one year to wrap a giant present (a recycling bin, so it was thematic at least) and it did look fab, but not sure if I'd have the guts to do all presents in them.

I don't know if I'm more impressed by the use of pontificate, or the wrapping!

I don't know if I'm more impressed by the use of pontificate, or the wrapping!

Have name changed in honour of this thread. I read it all last year but this year is the first that I will be hosting. eek. I am totally panicking already about what to cook and whether it'll be any good. I shall be taking all the guidance and tips from this thread I can! I'll also be nearly 8months preg so again, eek.

Remus - are you me!? I spend hours with the wrapping. Same theme running through with colours etc, but each of the DC gets a slightly different one from the next, and then the rest of the family run along the same theme, but tweaking slightly for each one.

This year I am doing either purple, black and silver or red, green and gold. I also have tree decorations to match both themes, along with my 'natural' theme, when I will wrap in brown paper with green or deep orange ribbon and dried orange slices/pine cones.

I vary according to my annual mood come the time I LOVE IT. And even Father Christmas plays ball too. He's a clever chap you know.

RemusLupins I've heard good things about this as a veggie main course, although haven't ever made it myself.

So wise ponces of the thread, please proffer your thoughts: as a Christmas-at-home virgin (very festively appropriate, I suppose), what are the basics I should do to make it a good one? We have no decorations, no traditions, and I haven't decorated a tree since I was a child. We'll be having Christmas Day at my parents' and Boxing Day with the PIL, but will be at home for the mornings and evenings, plus Christmas Eve. I quite fancy a good family meal on the Eve, some sort of fancy breakfast for the morning and perhaps some special nibbles. I am a good cook and fairly competent with a pair of scissors. Have 3yo DS and 8wo DD, so would really like to start as we mean to go on and make it special

Once I have sliced and tested (for research purposes of course!) the salted peanut millionaires shortbread I will post the recipe. I would hate to post a duff recipe.

Last year I purchased different sized brown paper bags with handles (think Indian takeaway bags) from EBay and put presents in them instead of wrapping them with paper. It saved me hours. Of course they were finished off with gingham ribbon and little jingle bells, otherwise people would have thought they were getting a chicken tikka massala!

I think I'll do the same again, but tied with candy canes and lollipops - thanks for the idea Remus

AStar - what sort of budget are you looking at? Food wise, I shall have a think and post some ideas over the course of this evening - are there any no nos with regard to foods that you, DH and DS won't eat?

Chop Chop ILikeToMove and crack on with that research would you!

thedoctorswife how about something like this for your mantle

pinterest.com/pin/213403134/

or this

pinterest.com/pin/213366463/

A couple of years ago I got some cheap cookie cutters in star and gingerbread man shapes - they looked really sweet tied on to the ribbon when I was wrapping.

Coo'ee! Worzel!
Thank you for much for your link to your felt Robin. I love it! What a great website. I'm making a reindeer and a Christmas pudding beanbag.

Squitch they look great but now im wondering how i can make those huge stars to hang from the ceiling!

However i do have a job lot of felt so maybe i can make a fun garland for the other end of the room.