Fellatio's Poncetastic Christmas Thread 2011 is.....

[FellatioNelson]

open for business. Knock yerselves out.

Argh RiffRaffeta - I expect i do..... But DH is already just about tolerating my Christmas craziness on the basis that I've got a baby to give birth to between now and Christmas, so I'm excused. I'm not sure he'd be impressed if I started buying expensive hardbacks full of recipes that we already have.

Still, £5 you say?

Yes it is quite sweet i guess, don't know about American, it came from BBC Good Food Xmas mag years ago. Name of the cheese is really bugging me now! Have you decided whether or not to have a drinks party yet - would be really nice way of getting to know the neighbours (and figuring out which ones to avoid in future!).

Fellatio, can I just urge you to have your Christmas party even if you don't know anyone? I had one last year for the first time in ages and it was an absolute hoot. Nigella reckons on 3 canapes (but lots of them, IYSWIM) and lots of wine, cheery music and just getting everyone together. I used to do it a lot but found lots of excuses not to when the children were teeny weeny, but my youngest is now nearly 3 so I am back in the party saddle as it were. If people are new to the area, they will be hugely grateful to meet some neighbours, abd you get marked out as a lovely welcoming person, hence lots of return invites! Result !

Was it you who was moving to Dubai? That might put the kaibosh on drink and pork related products but I am sure St Nigella can still deliver. I may have got you confused with someone else so please ignore if so.

Bucharest, I do a few recipes which involve cider vinegar and have often swapped with ww vinegar without noticing. I think the apple juice might be a mistake. It's just a vinegary tang after all.

Am going to dig out Sarah Raven and get planning. Yippee!

Cannot wait for the festive music to start. Proper carols here, with a bit of cheesy Christmas stuff thrown in. Very exciting!

Don't know how I managed not to see this thread slip anchor, but all is right with the world now [sigh]

Now off to peruse

Treats - here Not in the catalogue

Doctors Wife - my mum's ham recipe - 45 mins per kilo plus 30 mins. Boil for half the time, remove skin, leave layer of fat. Score fat diamond shape, spear with cloves and smear with marmalade and mustard. Roast at 190C for remainder of timecover loosely with foil, uncover top for last 20 mins but watch it.

Thankyou. Think the slow cooker killed it as its not really controlled is it. I'll try again in a couple of weeks as im sick of ham now!

Yes, cooking time needs to be altered if the ham you have is heavier or lighter than that stated in the recipe. I also like the roasting method for cooking ham.

Peachy - yes please to the recipe!

I'll definitely go with white wine then. I wanted to start pickling this week (shallots, chutney etc) but for some reason all shallots have disappeared from shops. So might make mincemeat instead.

Il Divo's wonderful Christmas CD is looking at me, but it's 25 degrees. I can't quite justify it yet.

Also spent a few hours perusing Not On the High Street and then putting the same items into ebay searches to save ££££. Happy Days.

TheDoctorsWife, you could try my Baked Guinness and muscovado ham, the recipe is on the thread entitled 'What do you eat Xmas eve?' currently on page 2 of the Christmas topic.

I've cooked it every Christmas eve for the last 8 years, and it never disappoints.

That sounds yummy girlywhirly. I'm off to find that thread....

Just pinched a book people discount code from another thread.... it's AFVOUCHER40

That does sound good girly; will look that up.

Recipe:

6 egg whites
300g caster
2tea spoons corn flour
1 teaspoon wine vinegar
0.5 tea spoon vanilla (I used vanilla paste, but book says extract)
3 baking sheets covered with parchment

ice cream (far less faffy than usual ice cream)

3 tablesoons rum
500g tin sweetened chestnut puree
600 ml whipping cream
100 g icing sugar
20g excellent dark choc to grate over

Oven 150 / GM 2

whisk eggs until soft peaks then add sugar spoon at a time as you whisk. When a quarter of sugar is left stop whisking and gfold in sugar with a metal spoon. Fold in cornflour, vinegar and vanilla then.

Draw 21cm circles on parchment and palce on flat baking sheets. Divide meringue equally. Cook for 1 hour then switch oven off leaving meribgues to cool in oven.

When meringues cold (can be days in betweenm they keep) make ice cream. Combine rum and and chestnut ouree to make a paste. Whip cream and icing sugar to soft peaks and fold into rum paste.

Place meringue onto a plate and spread with 1/ 3 cream mix, top with another meringue, add another third, finish with final meringue which you top with last third of mix and grate choccy over.

Freeze uncovered until set, then wrap in cling film and freeze until needed.

Thought I'd copy girlywhirly's recipe over to save everyone going searching for it. Hope she doesn't mind...

Baked Guinness and muscovado ham.

serves 6 cooking time 2hrs 40 mins +15 mins resting time

1.5kg boned smoked gammon (we prefer unsmoked)
4 tablesp muscovado sugar
1 tablesp powdered mustard
250 ml bottled Guinness
3 cloves

If your gammon joint is NOT pre-soaked, it will be very salty; you can simmer the joint in a large pan of water for 30mins before you start the recipe. Discard the water afterwards.

Preheat oven to Gas 4/180C/350F. Remove rind from gammon, leaving fat on. Score a criss cross pattern on the fat with a knife.

Put sugar and mustard in a small bowl and stir in 1 tablesp of the Guinness to make a paste. Rub half the paste over the gammon surface, retaining the rest for later.

Pour the remaining Guinness into a roasting tin, add cloves, and the prepared gammon. Cover with foil and bake for 2 hrs.

Take gammon from the oven, remove foil, brush with the remaining sugar paste. Return gammon to the oven uncovered for the rest of the cooking time. When ready, remove to rest for 15 mins while you make the gravy.

Strain the roasting juices and skim off excess fat. Thicken with cornflour if wished. I do this by pouring the juices into a pan, mix cornflour and water in a cup and pour into the boiling liquid, and stir continuously until thickened. Reduce to a simmer until ready to serve.

It's quite a stong grown-up flavour, but the cold gammon is incredibly tasty too. It is lovely and moist because it is sitting in the Guinness while it cooks. It is quite forgiving too, if guests are a bit late it won't spoil.

Thank you Peachy, that looks amazing!

Thank you so much Blathers. Don't mind at all, was wondering whether I should have submitted it to the Christmas recipes section. It's a tradition now in the girly house, on Christmas eve, fantastic cold on Boxing day with chutneys and other cold meats, or even in a butty!

Glad you didn't mind :)

I'd really like to try it but 50% of the household here are under 5 so it might be best to wait for a few years if it's such a strong taste

Girlywhirly thankyou. You did give me your recipe on another thread i only did nigella as i had a 2ltr bottle of coke but no guiness ha ha. Im gonna trust yours now.

Oh dear... Can I have some reassurance?? I have just cooked my first ever Christmas cake (Delia of course), ready for months of feeding etc. However, in line with my usual poncetastic aspirations/mediocre outcomes, it is very dark and incredibly heavy.

It looks like a prison for naughty raisins.

Please someone tell me that's what they are all like and I haven't fallen at the first hurdle???

Can anyone join in this thread??

I am off next week and will be making my Christmas cake then.

I am in a flap as I need to make my cranberry mincemeat (Nigella) but I dont think that there are cranberries in the shops yet.

I am only a teeny bit into the hand cross stitched stocking I am making DD1 and the lovely knitted scarf for VBFITWE (thats very best friend in the world ever)

I have bought loads of lovely card things.........

I could supply a fab recipe for creamed brussel sprouts if anyone wants, will change your perception of them, the Cinderella of vegetables, forever?

Oh and Christmas Cake does not look like normal cake, it is dark, mostly fruit and usually feels like it would sink a battleship when you pick it up Idharma - the secret is to make sure its moist.

Can't help but at the prison for naughty raisins.

All christmas cake is heavy. Is it a bit burnt on the top? If so you could always take a thin slice off.

Oh thank god Normally I am quite the baker but after nearly spraining my wrist lifting the damn thing up I was starting to panic. No it's not burnt or anything, just dark brown.

Thanks, will sleep better tonight!

All ends well though as I made some chocolate brownies on the spur of the moment to prove to myself I hadn't lost my baking mojo totally, and it turns out I haven't

rhonda, could you use dried cranberries, or does the recipe specify fresh? After all, the sultanas and other vine fruits will be dried.

Blathers, tbh the strongest flavour comes from the Guinness gravy. You could eat the ham hot without that, or cold. Plus, the most strongly flavoured bit is the outside, slices from the inside will be slightly milder. I think an unsmoked gammon would be more acceptable to little people and I prefer it myself to a smoked (I've tried both)