Fellatio's Poncetastic Christmas Thread 2011 is.....

[FellatioNelson]

open for business. Knock yerselves out.

I really want a poncetastic Christmas, but it doesn't really work when DH has to work funny hours over the Christmas period and when it is just us and 2 small dc (16m and 4yrs)

However, I have just bought the GH Christmas Collection mag with loads of poncetastic recipes, so I can at least plan an imaginary poncetastic Christmas and new year :o

I have made some raspberry vodka, and have plans for posh homemade treaty things.

Also doing an 'activity advent' where there is a little note in my poncetastic felt calender with an activity for that day :o

RiffRaffeta That sounds delicious- How long does it keep for? Thanks

As it's chucking it down and thundering here, and the temp has gone down 20 degrees in 24 hrs it felt appropriate to get Delia and Nigella down...so, a question, where cider vinegar is specified for pickly things, can I get away with white wine vin? Should I lob some apple juice in as well?

Rather smugly noted that even Saint Delia doesn't start cakes and stuff till the end of October. We are out-ponceing Delia!

Ha - that's hilarious Bucharest - my cake is in the oven as I type. Bring on the ponce!

Re vinegar - I would probably just use white wine vinegar (disclaimer - am lazy about stuff like that) and perhaps chuck a splash of apple juice in too as you said?

I'm not convinced about the idea of adding apple juice, the sugar in it would change the chemically substancey thing of vinegar that enables preservation, no?

There's not a big difference between cider and white wine vinegar in cooking, but using large amounts eg for pickling, I think I'd prob try to get some cider vinegar if its available where you are Bucharest. Are you still in Bucharest?

Mama - about 5 minutes in this house

I have kept it in a Kilner jar for over a month and its been fine.

Actually RiffRaffeta - you are right - it would probably cause it to rot!

I don't think it would be then end of the world if you couldn't get cider vinegar, and of course, if you cant actually get it then you don't have much choice anyway. As above, I am just lazy so would probably just opt for what I had in the house!

Please can I join this lovely thread? Have just spent last hour reading it and feel I have found my spiritual home!

Poncetastic credentials are not extensive but will work on them henceforth I promise - I do make my own wreaths and garlands for front door and interior doors - some are re-usable but make most from scratch each year. Have at least two trees, one that I let the dc decorate with salt-dough decorations that we add to each year (think will do camels this year), and one that I don't let them touch ever which I like to do by myself. Have a bit of a thing for fairy lights and use them wherever I possibly can, probably trebling electricity bill and risk of burning house down.

I usually do my pudding and cake in October half-term (always Delia) but am so in the mood after reading you lot may get cracking bit earlier. Last year we had new sofa so, of course, I had to buy new decs for tree, but somehow didn't like the effect. So, naturally, will have to try again this year. Um, what else can I say to get myself in? Oh, we have Xmas party every year, dh makes his top-secret punch, a glass of which has to be drunk or else entry is refused.

Can any of you teach me how to wrap presents properly?! I am sooo bad at it (despite lurking in gift-wrapping department of John Lewis long enough to scare the ladies!).

Barry. There are loads of others if you look at the side bar as well. You need a pile of cheap white packing paper to practice on!

I found a couple of recipes last night, suitable for Christmas IMHO, for those who really insist they can't cope with Christmas Pud. I think they would go beautifully together, and they are from the Jamie Does...(Spain, Italy, France etc) book.

Walnut, Chestnut and Chocolate Cake (which seems to be a puddingy cake rather than a 'cakey' cake, and has a layer of chestnut puree and whipped double cream, but I'm sure the chestnut puree could be left out if you are not keen, and leave just a hint of chestnut flavour in the cake itself) accompanied by Prune* and Armagnac Ice cream.

Homemade ice creams that contain a bit of alcohol always work brilliantly, because the alcohol doesn't freeze, therefore keeping a nice soft, scoopable consistency to the mix, rather than ending up with a solid block over over-frozen stuff that never quite has the right mouth feel. In fact I would say put in the tiniest splash of vodka or kirsch or something unflavoured) into any ice cream recipe, even if it doesn't specify it. You won't taste it, but it will improve the texture.

I have been pondering the logistics of Christmas since we moved in April. We are now ensconced in a much smaller abode than previously.

One of the issues I considered when flat-hunting was 'where would I put the Christmas tree?' and also 'where will I put the turkey while he waits for his big day?'(*) as the fridge will be seriously overcrowded if I try to leave him there. The other questions will sort themselves out, or maybe all will become clear with the help of some flavoured vodka inspired by this thread (other questions such as 'where will I put DD1 and DS when they descend on us for the Christmas break from university?) This year for the first time we have a real fireplace [calloo! callay!] much to the joy of DD4(10) who is still a True Believer, so all other concerns are really of no consequence. And there is an actual holly bush in the garden [frabjous]

(*) Answer: in a cooler outside, and I will cross my fingers for bitterly cold weather.

This might be the year when I finally remember to poke holes in the little gingerbread shapes before baking them, so we can attach ribbon and put them on the tree after they're decorated.

I wondered about the apple juice doing weird fermenty things tbh. (Delia comments in her book that her recipe for pudding causes problems sometimes because of the high quantity of apples)

I think I'll have a bash with white wine vinegar. Wouldn't have thought it'd be that different. I'm not in Bucharest (and never have been!) Am in the south of Italy, I just picked the name out of a Bill Bryson!

I would suggest you buy a big coolbag and plenty of ice packs so you can keep some in the freezer for swapping over when the others have lost their cool (so to speak!) for the turkey. In fact everyone should have a huge industrial sized coolbox - so useful, especially for times like Christmas when you could fill up the fridge on drinks alone. Just stick it in the loft/garage/somewhere for times when it is not needed.

Nigella (Goddess) does a chestnutty meringue cake which you put in teh freezer and get ine cream layers, well worth a non pud shot IMO, bloody easy.

Im struggling with my poncetastic christmas as dd birthday plans are getting in the way! But i have nigellas ham in coke in the slow cooker. Doing a trial run. Gonna try to get my cake done this week then some stuff for dd's birthday. I really want to get on with my felt decorations but i dont get a spare minute at the moment. I think next year i'll make xmas stuff from easter.

Ooh chestnutty meringue that sounds very yummy.

Spoke to my dad earlier and it looks like we are going there for Christmas dinner, and my dad has already put in a request for chocolate bomb.

I am going to attempt my first ever Christmas cake. With decorating, what do we class as poncetastic? Glitter and snowflakes? Winter scene? Or very understated with a ribbon and real foliage?

Hi Taffeta - I have to take the Sarah Raven book back to the library this afternoon but have made a note of the cranberry compote and stuffing recipes you mentioned. Have also c&p'd your granola recipe and will definitely make that. Thanks a lot for the tips.

Treats - buy it. You know you want to. Its only a fiver with Book People.

Deda if you want recipe just holler, would do any time over season

Making RifRaffeta's granola right now :) Bought bottles for flavoured vodkas and snowflake tins for brownies and truffles today too...

Heeeeelp. My ham is not a carvable joint. More a lushious flaked ham hock. It would make a perfect terrine but shite for boxing day sandwich.

I just cant master this. I used the slow cooker so possibly simmered too long. The nigella recipe is too sweet for me. I have checked out gary rhodes and he gives it for a whole ham to serve 25. But method was the same i just had 1.6kg instead of 5kg. At this rate im gonna just order a baked ham but i wanted to crack this!

Thanks for wrapping paper tips Fellatio (feels strange addressing someone like that!). I could lie and tell you Dh's top secret punch recipe has been in his family for generations. Or alternatively, I could tell you that he just sloshes in huge quantities of whatever alcohol we have in the house, plus lots of lemonade to disguise the potency. We put it in a huge pan thing by the front door, so whenever someone arrives its on hand. Seems to get things going nicely.

I have a nice recipe for a vegetable dish to go with Xmas dinner. If anyone's interested I'll post it properly later/tomorrow, but basically its carrots, parsnips and sweet potatoes layered with butter, cream and soft cheese (name of which I've forgotten, despite having made dish for at least last the last ten years), topped with caramelised apples.

That sounds very American, and sweet, like a Thanksgiving thing.