Ridiculous christmas...HELP!

[nextchapter]

Hi, I have 4DC all under 7, myself and my DH are, to be fair, reasonably well off, however this christmas we have my parents, my sister and her DH and 2 DC (aged 2 and a newborn), my PIL and DH grandmother, DH brother and wife plus 2 DS (five and three) and DH other brother and wife and DS (18mnths). This is 22 people all together. Plus they are all staying over which means forking out for extra air beds and bedding etc.

I only wanted my parents and sister, but once MIL got wind of it, well I didn't stand a chance! I am also feeding them all on xmas eve ( though they aren't staying thank god) and on boxing day, until after lunch.

Would it really be inapproiate to ask for a small cash donation, around £50 per family, off them? I mean its costing a small fortune. My parents who are well off have offered to pay half but frankly I feel this is unfair and whilst I know that my family and myself and my husband are better off than my in laws I still feel a little like I am being taken for a ride?

All views are helpful!

Yay for your FIL.

Make sure he gets the best seat, the good wine and the crispiest roast potatoes!

I admire you for still going ahead because I would have told them all to f* right off. I would also worry about atmosphere and snipy comments over Christmas. Good luck with it all!

wow! a huge well done to your fil! so pleased you're not going to lose out financially at least

i hope you have a really happy christmas

i have read this while having a nice cup of tea and a sit down. i was quite prepared for it to all end badly. but i am v v impressed. well done OP and merry christmas :)

I'd love to know exactly what FIL said to them! At least you have an ally if anyone moans. Chances are they won't all invite themselves next Christmas, especially if you insist on help preparing, clearing and minding children!

That's what I'm hoping girlywirly. Just want to say thanks to everyone on this thread for helping me be rational and not totally losing the plot and also for helping me reach a conclusions. Cheers ladies!! xxx

I do love a happy ending!

How did it go? Was MIL grumpy or did FIL keep her in line?

oh having just read alll this i want to know how it turned out too....

marking my spot

Oh I remember this, me too! COme back and tell us the gory details!

yes please

i've just seen this thread for the first time - how the hell did i miss it in Dec ?!!!

nextchapter sounds fab - really hope you managed to have a good time?

my only concern whilst reading this (and not sure if a poster had already touched on it) was because of the the families' financial contribution they would feel the need to sit on their butts and not help out with preparations, etc.?!!!

hope i'm proved wrong

look forward to hearing an update!

Waiting to hear also!

Sorry ladies only just saw you had responded!!!

I have also done a later thread in AIBU regarding one BIL and PIL NOT going home for three days after they were meant to.

Christmas day and boxing day were fine, lovely actually, FIL had some strong words with MIL and BILs so they behaved nicely and everyone did pitch in...some less than others if you know what I mean.

Everyone was then suppossed to leave boxing day night/morning of 27th. BIL and his wife and MIL were having none of it. FIL felt terrible, MIL actually went home for more clothes as my turn around was apparantly not quick enough on the washing. The DCs bedtimes rountines were messed up due to her and her MIL, who also wasnt for leaving. Even the DC wanted her to leave, she only lives 20mins away ffs. Ended up kicking them all out.....

Phew....hope you ladies had a good xmas?? xxx

How did she take being kicked out? You MIL is so rude!

Did you have to wait on them hand and foot for an extra 3 days? They do sound like a very selfish lot!I just want my own bed when I'm not well. Wouldn't dream of imposing on someone else, particularly when you have 4 DC of your own.

Glad Christmas day and Boxing day went well. I had imagined MIL might have found it impossible to let her greivences go!

OMHG next - have just read your AIBU thread too.

So sorry it turned out so badly for you. Please tell me you won't be ever having a repeat performance? I thought mine/DP's family were bad I am speechless with horror

Hope you had a more restful NY

Well we tried the subtle hints until we were blue in the face. Then MIL and DH grandmother started interfering with the DC bedtimes rountine, "oh you can stay up if you want..dont listen to nasty old mummy" blah blah which was when I got VERY pissed off...bedtime with 4 is hard enough without people messing it up...plus their cousins were still staying who are not well behaved at all and appear to have no bedtime so were constantly disturbing.

In the end myself, DH and FIL just told them all to leave...although BIL did ask us to have his children a few extra days because apparantly his wife and his "handn't had a proper break yet". I almost throttled him.

And no MILs grievances most certainly haven't gone but she will just have to get over them!!!

Wow your bil sounds in particular to be very ignorant and rude. Taking the piss or what? Don't have them over next year!!!!!