Fellatio's thread for a Poncetastic Christmas.

[FellatioNelson]

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

[IwishIwasmoreorganised]

Right, I'm up for a poncetastic Christmas in theory - just marking my spot here to help me put it into practice!

Anyone know if you can get ponsey tasteful, Christmassey covers for high backed dining chairs?

[FellatioNelson]

I meant 'always looks charming' - sorry.

[MistsAndMellow]

Of course you can join Sharon Gless if I can fancy you? I am a child of the 80's.

So many of us with eggshell / duck-egg rooms!

We will find the solution eventually.

[MrsTicklemouse]

I would go with plain white or uncovered with some sort of garlandy thing on the back!

sorry not that helpful!

[MrsTicklemouse]

or there's always these

[glitterkitty]

Tree is not allowed to have LED lights, must be the old twinkly soft (quality street descriptor v good- whoever said that!) type.

My theme will be red/white/green. Leaning towards paper garlands (red or white), bushy greenery and pine cones everywhere. Lots of xmas themed yankee candles burning and I have already changed my curtains from blue to red

In this house we do not to gingham, that is for summer.

[FellatioNelson]

The thought of 'Christmassy' chair covers is bring me out in an itchy nervous rash. I would go for plain cheap calico, or even decorating dust sheets, which are nicely neutral and natural, and you can tie them on with raffia, or knot them, or whatever. I hope you were not thinking of a Santa theme, or some polyester printed Holly pattern when you said 'Christmassy covers'?

Please say No.

[MrsTicklemouse]

Fallatio have you seen my link up there a little bit :o preceded by a more classy option I might add

[CaptainNancy]

the led lights are vile, aren't they?

[MrsTicklemouse]

feeling a bit linktastic tonight found these too!

[Hassled]

glitterkitty - you speak a lot of sense :o. Duck egg people - why did you not think of Christmas when you were first viewing your house? I despair.

[MrsTicklemouse]

LED lights are only for festival pushchair n our house! they look amazing on that!!

[glitterkitty]

Hideous, Captain. Like putting blue kebab shop lights on your tree (disclaimer: have never, of course, eaten a kebab- only passed by the shop late at night after a hurried trip back from theatre to see first night or similar )

[glitterkitty]

Mrs ticklemouse... festival....pushchair?

[IwishIwasmoreorganised]

Loving the Santa seat covers

I think if I let DH have a say on this we'd end up with something very similar, but to fulfill my poncetastic dreams, the calico and raffia may fit the bill!!

[Hassled]

We need to hear more about the festive pushchair. Is it for Baby Jesus?

[glitterkitty]

at hassled

[MrsTicklemouse]

pmsl... we went to Camp Bestival this year, my first ever festival so went a bit wild!

The hood was edged with one of those little battery operated LED light strings, looked amazing, had loads of comments and no drunk people falling over navy blue pram in the dark!!

[MrsTicklemouse]

Camp Bestival= tres child friendly and middle class

[SharonGless]

Of course you can fancy me - I only I have eyes for MaryBeth tho ;)

Festival pushchair - come on spill the beans.

Hassled - have to say that Christmas did not ffigure in my head when I was tastefully decorating. I have rued the day for the last 5 Christmases

[MistsAndMellow]

Hassled my DH painted the North-facing room in eggshell and duck-egg deliberately!

Can I kill him now?

Mind you, it was a rather warm nicotine yellow from floor to ceiling before. Literally decorated with nicotine

[glitterkitty]

why were you at bestival, you could have used that time to craft some hand stiched tree decorations or something... sigh...

[MistsAndMellow]

at SharonGless, I'll have to cope

[MrsTicklemouse]

Something Christmassy did happen wait a minute and I'll show you take a pic....

[glitterkitty]

You see MAM, you could have gone for gold with that nicotine theme.