Fellatio's thread for a Poncetastic Christmas.

[FellatioNelson]

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

The buggers, bugging this thread. I will buy it tomorrow and see if they have pinched anything else

I am woefully crap at crochet, it's supposed to be easy but not for sausage fingered crappy me

Hello - can I join in?

I have a whole new Christmas decorating opportunity this year as last year we decided that we were bored of the same decorations and we'll get new ones this year. Plus we've moved house to something a bit bigger, so more area to make poncetastic.

Our whole house is painted white, it's partly Edwardian and partly very contemporary extension. We have very contemporary taste and our existing tree decorations are red velvet or silver. I quite like the idea of just white, but I'm not convinced it'll have much impact against all the white walls.

May I also add that Christmas pud vodca is one thing, but Christmas pud ice cream is very easy to make, not as rich as plain old pud and very yummy.

yum

Seriouswispa habit - I have learned just to make the snowflakes. They are actually really easy and only use three different stitches. You just need to find either a good demonstration online or someone willing to spend 10 minutes to teach you - they are really really sweet!

SeriousWispaHabit - do you have any recipes for your chile jam and spiced hot chocolate mix? They sound fab! Pretty sure I found some natural coloured string in WH Smith a while back, but no idea if they still stock it.

How sad am I? I check this thread on & off and when I see that the page count has moved on, I get a ridiculous thrill about what new goodies there will be to read about

I'm adding my name to the request for those recipes too please SeriousWispa

Right, am going to learn to crochet. Should be no problem fitting it in around making hampers and a selection of Christmas flavoured infused vodkas and looking after toddler plus baby

Recipe for chilli jam is Nigella one - it's in her Christmas book and available on her website (not figured out links sorry).

Spiced hot chocolate - I mixed cocoa powder, finely chopped plain chocolate and sugar about equal volumes. I think about 250ml of each and added 2 tablespoon cinnamon, half teaspoon ground cardammom and teaspoon grated nutmeg. Haven't taste tested yet - will do so this evening so may need to tweak amounts. I'll report back. Will make pretty labels saying to add 2-4 tablespoons to a mug of hot milk.

Putting fruits in to soak tonight to make Christmas cake tomorrow.

Some great ideas here!

Delia's Christmas chutney is simmering away. Hope it's ok. Have never made chutney before. And I think my food processor went a bit mad on chopping the fruits so it all ended up in a big ball.

Am planning on making Mary Berry's mincemeat in the week and maybe Xmas cakes next weekend.

Need to re-read this and jot down the ideas I liked!

is mid october too late to join in????

I love chrismtas SO MUCH!!! This year DC2 will be nearly 1 - so last year wasn't great! (heavily pregnant / SPD = at parents!)

I want LOADSSSSSS of decorations (all pretty ones of course!) BUT.... we rent.... and I don't know how to do it!!!!!

Last year we had the tree, and some bits 'n bobs... but not much else!! SOMEONE PLEASE help me to decorate my 2 bed maisonette! I have silver / blue decs for the tree and have followed that through with the bits I have bought for elsewhere... so HIT me with your tips!!!

I love this as a work station, now that would be organised

but I have seen lovely jars for my fudge, think I will get some

Seriouswispahabit- Love your spiced hot chocolate idea. What a bally source of loveliness this thread is!!!
Have now got Chritmas Chutney ---TICK!
Snowflakes ---TICK!
Lovely reindeer ---waiting to be stuffed (not like it sounds!)
Biscotti - have bought ingredients!!
Sloe gin ---coming to hamper near you

Has this tablet already been done? Probably this is where I have seen it recently but am enjoying a wine fulled evening with the ils so can't be sure!! IF not this recipe is lush (gert lush if any of you are from the Bath/Bristol region.)

The mothership of poncetasticatiousness

May I join? My credentials include deciding to make my own chocolates last year. Spent nearly £40 on silicone moulds, ingredients and cellophane bags, and made my own labels with photo of DS dressed as a chef.

Poncetastic enough? (Admittedly would have been better if the chocs had been nice after all that effort).

dearprudence that sounds ACE!

Hello lovely Poncetastic ladies. I am jumping in and joining this thread having:

A) followed this thread since it's birth; and
B) coveted a Martha Stewart-esque Christmas since time immemorial :o

Am making hampers full of Nigella goodies. Always make my own cake and pudding (GHK 2000 for preference). This year must try harder on wrapping efforts (always red & gold but rather pedestrian with regards to final flourishes).

Am considering making main christmas meal on christmas eve. This is for several reasons:

1. DH is Dutch and this is their tradition
2. I go all out for Christmas lunch but the day is dictated by my running back and forth from kitchen.

What sayeth the poncetastic jury on this issue?

Ooh, Potterybarn. Can't tear myself away from it now.

Does anyone have suggestions for centrepieces - don't mind making but have never found a picture I like. Would prefer to buy this year though.

Table colour scheme is white, gold and glass.

Have just bought this so that I can make some of these. But I think I'll spray the apples gold and/or cream and sit them on a glass tile or a gold plate with some kind of frippery.

Here are a few delightful centrepieces. I really like the look of the three tiered fruit and orange blossom one.

Oooh, ooh! I want to do a poncetastic Christmas! I live in Minnesota so the snowy scene is set. :) Some lovely ideas here.

OK - going for Nigella's Christmas pudding this year. Any thoughts on Pedro Ximenez Sherry?

Harveys Bristol Cream is made with Pedro Ximenez grapes and i can buy it from Tesco but I'm guessing it's not the same.

I have found some online which is described as "Sticky Pudding Wine" which sounds perfect but is £13 a bottle plus postage. Worth it do you think?

Has anyone tried nigella's yule log? Am making Delia's cake but the kids don't do fruit cake so thought we could try making this for after christmas lunch. Is it good?

Hello ponces

May I join in?

I've got my cakes all made & pudding ingredients are on my shopping list for next month's online order

I am im patiently awaiting delivery of my x-stitch threads to start making my cards (although if it doesn't come soon they may not all be made on time!)

I'm trying to find some nice red/cream/gold wallpaper before buying any new decorations but can't find anything that dp will agree to.... he's very every time I suggest something I like

& I have a list covering everything from now until Christmas pinned to my notice board. Although I like the idea of having a note book dedicated entirely to Christmas plans

sybilvimes my MIL has a recipe for a gorgeous one I will google

this is really beautiful and if my MIL can bake it anyone can!! actually must bookmark for myself

Thanks for the link mathanxiety. The tiered orange centrepiece is lovely. I could use my new carver to put tealights in some of the oranges too.