Fellatio's thread for a Poncetastic Christmas.

[FellatioNelson]

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

Star - you need to crochet him a stocking :)

I saw some 'crocheted' Christmas puddings tree decs in John Lewis today, in case of crochet meltdown! Also stick- on gems in case the dc want to ponce up some plain baubles. And also tiny battery powered lights for poncy floral table decs at £5.

Star, I wish I had had a proper stocking when I was little, I had to make do with a nylon stocking of my mums, often laddered! Obviously the trauma hasn't gone away, which is why I'm in the Christmas topic.

Ooh do John Lewis have their Christmas stuff in?

I'm off :)

girlywhirly, we used to use pillowcases when I was little They did the job fine and had the benefit of being very roomy.

However, I was spoiled by Christmasses with my ex-boyfriend's family, as his mum made everyone stockings out of felt.

Star - I made 24 little stocking for the girls Advent calendars This year I am going to make thenm one each from Felt wit their names on. But how big is big enough :)

PlumBumMum - If you've got the hooks and the yarn you're sorted. If you knit you can definitely crochet! I only started a few weeks ago and when you have mastered the stiches it is simple. Youtube have some great, clear tutorials, though beware the snowflake pattern uses UK terms not US so a US single is a UK double. (That explanation makes it seem much more complicated than it actually is! :o )

I am pretty impressed with my own ponce-ification. I have made chutneys, jams and jellys this weekend and have made snowflakes to hang around the jars that can be used as decorations. Each snowflake only takes 10 minutes or so now I've got the hang of it!

John Lewis tree-skirt for £30.

I'm off to buy some felt and ribbon tomorrow.

thanks blueberryboybait, maybe I'll use a kids neurofen syringe :)

Sunshine - yes I have from an old recipe but an going to try the one at The Pink Whisk this weekend - very similar recipe.

You don't need a syringe to add brandy to your cake. You can pierce holes in the top and dribble brandy over them with a spoon! Soaks in a treat. At least that's what my 14yo self did when I made my first Christmas cake. Cherry brandy or Cointreau works well too.

I'd never heard of Boy Bait before. Going to have to make some now! :)

That crochet xmas pudding posted by
FoundWanting Mon 04-Oct-10 22:17:56 is very cute.

Just had a look at PlanetJune and she also has a poinsettia and candy cane pattern up.

Very Christmassy :o

swissmiss I made the pudding with finer yarn and a 2.5mm crochet hook and it came out perfect bauble size. I tried a robin with the wool and hook she suggested and it was much too big. It is sleeping in a nest DD made for it now.

Wannabe Ponce here, have been very inspired by you all.

My qualifications are as follows:

I have a three week timetable for the lead up to Christmas on my 7 page Christmas spreadsheet! This was very successful last year and will be depended on again.

I have made and frozen braised red cabbage and made christmas chutneys.

Have booked my waitrose online delivery slot.

DD and I made salt dough decorations ready for painting yesterday.

Am off to buy Good Housekeeping Christmas NOW!

MBJ we are in JHB - saxonwold. I'm not sure about the copper wire tree - I'm told that we can get a proper tree if we hunt (probably in bryanston for all the expat americans!) - there is a home store in bryanston shopping mall that is nicely poncetstic - mainly french / french style imported stuff and the woman that runs it says it's like JL at christmas there. will definitely be up there soon.

we don't really eat puddings though although the christmas pud ice cream could be a winner. I'm a big fan of semifreddos so could adapt I think.

MIL is busy sending me the cuisine mags from NZ for their summer festive stuff so hopefully will be able to do a good poncetastic christmas lunch (I refuse to do big dinner on christmas eve night, sorry )

salt decorations being made this afternoon i think!

Hello just want to give notice of my intention to join this poncetastic thread. Just need to get Halloween party out of the way first (any poncetastic ideas for Halloween gratefully received).

To give an idea of my Christmas:

Tree has no theme but loads of different baubles of different styles (including home made) as I'm not a matchy matchy person. I buy a new bauble every year but am going to let DS (4) choose it this year. White lights only, have a lovely hand-crafted (not by me) stained glass angel for the top.

Children have a small tree in the playroom. They have a resuable advent calendar which has a chocolate and a decoration for the tree in it each day so they decorate their own tree during the course of the month.

My family tradition is that the decs all go up the first Sunday in December.

One of our best things (which we'll be making again this year) is a brussel sprout tart.

I also have some lovely Christmas stamps (Cox & Cox) so we'll be making cards, wrapping paper, tags, place cards etc.

I've bought some lovely paper chains to make for the playroom.

Christmas Eve is huge here - trip to Painshill to see Santa (it is just magical), then back for Nigella's chilli and champagne at our friends' house, we turn on Norad and watch the Santa tracker, then back to ours to open our Christmas pjs. Then snuggle up to watch something Christmassy before putting DCs to bed and getting the hosue ready for the next day. Love it

That's it for now. Will start planning properly when Halloween is over.

Right, going to order all my bits for making the christmas cake on the next online order (although I am also considering those mini cake tins on the one tray seen up-thread...) Should I order stuff for puds too or is it too early?

I made Rachel Allen's last year and they looked so awful no-one wanted to try them. Is Delia the pudding queen?

I have lovely, cream pudding basins and muslin covers - just need a better recipe to fill them with.

Thank you Ohforfoxsake just managed to persuade DH that an oppurtnity (25% off) was to great to miss.

Oooh also have ordered edible glitter for cakes.

Found a recipe last night fora chocolate Christmas pudding which will go down a treat here.

For those in Herts and Beds, The Magic of Christmas at Walkern near Stevenage will open on Thurs 14th Oct, and they are offering 25% off all stock until Sun 24th Oct. Google The Magic of Christmas Walkern for their website and location info. Lots of nice stuff, I think. Can you tell, I go every year!

Nigella pud you say?

I got her "Nigella Cgristmas" book as a Christmas present last year. Was a bit late by then so I only skimmed it before it went on my special 'cook book shelves' in the kitchen. Will go have a look :)

But how dare you suggest plastic basins

good idea Lee