Forgiving seventy-times-seven?

[Interl0per]

I work with another Christian. She is a lovely woman, but she is not doing her job competently. I repeatedly have to repair her mistakes/deal with problems she has caused (I work alongside her).

I am confident this is not done out of malice, but I'm not convinced it's necessarily sinless (she may be being lazy/careless rather than trying but making mistakes, I don't know). When issues are raised with her she is very sorry, but frequently makes the same mistake within days of the conversation.

I'm becoming increasingly frustrated, and my patience is getting thinner. How can I graciously care for her, but also make sure our jobs are done properly? How much should I sweep this under the carpet? How much should I pass upwards to management?

This hasn’t anything to do with religion but a work performance issue to be handled by HR and her line manager.

I would suggest you graciously care for her out of work. Whilst in work you are both being paid to do a job. Sweeping things under the carpet is, effectively, deception. It is not up to you to decide if she is 'sinless' when it comes to her contract of employment.

If your religion precludes you from being professional in the workplace, I would respectfully suggest is the wrong place for you.

Her religion is irrelevant and you should do exactly the same as you would do if she wasn’t christian, anything else would be discrimination.

im Christian and agree this isn’t something for you to deal with. She may be lazy, just not fit for the job or have health conditions. Whatever that is a management decision.
Also approach from how it has affected you- I needed to do these three jobs that X had not done today and it means I’m not completing things, how should I prioritise?
Client Y has contacted us because X has not completed this task

From religious view why would you feel she is committing any sin against you. If you own and manage the business so are her manger that might be correct as you are paying her and she is abusing that trust with a worker. Otherwise you just happen to be affected by her behaviour.

We are all made differently. Maybe her skill set just doesn't match up to what is needed in the job?

Absolutely this.

Also don’t be holding a sin over her - if you do, you are the one doing wrong. Sins don’t exist - they are just a method some people use to control others.

Forgiveness is not the same as pretending that mistakes aren't being made, protecting people from the consequences of their mistakes or allowing the mistakes to continue. You should be involving management and this worker should be under a performance improvement plan which may lead to her needing to find a different job with fewer opportunities for mistakes if she can't learn. None of this is unloving or unforgiving - no one is happy in a job that they can't do competently and if you aren't holding resentment or anger against her in yoir heart, are not judging her as a bad person and are there for her in friendship in all matters unrelated to her actual competence at work then you can still be forgiving in a spiritual sense whist requiring competent achievement of job fuction as a minimum acceptable standard on a mundane level.

I think maybe you are taking Matt 18:21 out of context, ie, in what way do you think your colleague has sinned against you? Also bear in mind Matt 7:1-5. I would gently suggest your prayer would best be for your own patience and grace? If you are working in the secular world, then this is an issue for her line manager, but do all you can to support your colleague with any training issues.

Thanks all, I realise I expressed myself badly (or incompletely).

Management are aware of the issues, and are choosing how they deal with it.
I am wrestling with my own responses to her. I want to be encouraging and gracious, but I'm growing increasingly impatient. When I posted last night I was aware I'd been stewing on things all evening.

For the question of "how has she sinned against me?" I think that is actually the crux of the issue. I have discovered in the last 24 hours that she has lied to my face about work she has done.

I think my post was really a "argh, forgiveness is hard, isn't it!?!" thing.

She hasn’t sinned against you. It’s nothing to do with you unless you are her manager or HR? You’ve coming across as very righteous. Forgiveness isn’t hard at all - happens daily

Nothing to do with sin or forgiveness. She is ant doing her job properly. She needs training, support or discipline. Talk to management/HR.

Yes, forgiveness can be hard and sometimes it becomes a work in progress. I can get a real sense that you are trying to do the right thing with your sister (work colleague). I would gently question her over what you think are her lies,* just to make sure and clarify that your understanding is correct … it could be that you may have misinterpreted, so give her the chance to explain. if she is a Christian then she will feel convicted and her conscience should make her apologise to you and repent in prayer. I say ‘if’ only because we know that some claim the label, but …

• I have found a good ‘opener’ to be “talk to me about (and ‘name’ the concern)”

The work side of things is being handled by management but you need to do what you can to help your colleague and to stop yourself from stewing.

The issue is being handled by the employer. The Op needs to keep out of it.

Correct each other in gentleness guys. Let's be the nice bit of Mumsnet and not a total pile on like other bits are.
Forgiving other people can be really hard. I am guessing there is some disappointment in there too? I know I would feel sad if I was working with a fellow Christian and they were lying and I felt like they were not trying their best. I try hard at work because I feel like it reflects my relationship with God. I am working to my best ability to make him proud and to use every one of the gift he gave me when he created me so if I saw someone not bothering who was a Christian not would make me feel sad. However, everyone is at a different place in their journey with God and maybe your colleague hasn't got to a place where she understands that yet?
I do agree with others though about it not really being your issue to sort out. Maybe some prayer would help you to sort through what is going on inside yourself a bit more and you might realise there is something more than is currently obvious?

Opinions may vary. If you read my response again, you will see that I said the management are dealing with it, but the opening poster is struggling with their own challenges around the problem. As Christians we should come alongside each other to help support and give wisdom. Mine is a Christian Biblical response to another Christian who asked for advice/thoughts because she has a struggle.

As it says at the top of the board, this is a board for Christian Mumsnetters. CMs will understand about the potential of falling into sin, and to gently challenge lies.

This has absolutely nothing to do with religious beliefs. The fact you think it has makes you unsuitable for any supervisory role. IMHO. Whether the board is for Christians or not is irrelevant.

As an employer I would be concerned about one employee thinking another had committed a sin and needed to repent. How would an employee be treated if she said she had been caught speeding, was having an abortion, was pregnant and not married etc.

Are you a Christian?

No - an atheist

@Parker231 please don't comment on a post on the Christian mumsnetters board where someone is clearly looking for a Christian input, which you will not be able to give.

And that also explains why I was shocked that I had had to ask people to me kind on this board. looks like all the less thoughtfully worded posts were from @Parker231

Everyone can post on whatever threads they want - helps to give a rounded and balanced perspective.

Nothing unkind about my posts.

Thank you for confirming. That explains your non-Biblical pov and responses here. I now understand.

All I would ask is that, on this board you are respectful of our Christian Spiritual perspective when a sister (or brother) seeks Christian input as was asked for in the opening post, and then further expanded by the opening poster.