Forgiving seventy-times-seven?

[Interl0per]

I work with another Christian. She is a lovely woman, but she is not doing her job competently. I repeatedly have to repair her mistakes/deal with problems she has caused (I work alongside her).

I am confident this is not done out of malice, but I'm not convinced it's necessarily sinless (she may be being lazy/careless rather than trying but making mistakes, I don't know). When issues are raised with her she is very sorry, but frequently makes the same mistake within days of the conversation.

I'm becoming increasingly frustrated, and my patience is getting thinner. How can I graciously care for her, but also make sure our jobs are done properly? How much should I sweep this under the carpet? How much should I pass upwards to management?

Wow. Am actually amazed that you are equating her lack of capacity at work with sin. Lying to you about work she has not done shows she does not feel safe to confide in you or tell you the truth. I would reflect on that more deeply if I were you.

It might also help you to separate issues of faith with issues of work. As a Christian you should be striving for greater love and understanding of everyone, not using your godliness to judge and look down upon others.

Are you a Christian?

That's not what I said. I said that your posts werent as thoughtfully worded as the others on here. Christians are called to correct and support each other from a place of love and with gentleness.
There's are many different ways to tell someone that you think they are doing something wrong. You can say "you did that the wrong way" or you can say " I know a different way that might be easier for you". One way is abrupt and can be hurtful if you don't know someone very well and the other is just a nicer way of saying the same thing and takes into account that we are on an internet forum where none of us will ever actually know the whole story.

But that is not the point of this board. Equally so with all the other religious boards on Mumsnet.

Being a Christian doesn’t make you a good person. Someone can do things in life wrong regardless of affiliation to any religion.

Please refer to the posting guidelines at the top of this board for Christian Mumsnetters. It does point people in the direction of other boards if what you or others want is a theological debate.

I am, but I find it sad that you would disregard my opinion if I were not.

Yes I totally agree. Christians are no better or worse than anyone else.

But you have misunderstood. I am talking about Christians supporting and correcting other Christians which is a biblical thing and is an important part of christianity. I wouldn't dream of interfering with anyone else's life unless I knew them really well and was concerned for them.

Thank you for confirming. I find it strange that, if you know Christ Jesus, you have made an assumption about whether or not I would ‘disregard’ your opinion. I would guide you to the Bible’s direction about that thought process.

This thread has reminded me about a series of talks we had in church many years ago when the church started getting properly organised about safeguarding and the minister wanted to make sure we all understood the difference between being forgiving and being trusting. If someone is known to have used false accounting and embezzled funds for personal financial gain and repents then of course you forgive them in Christian brotherhood but you don't make them church treasurer or entrust them with financial responsibility. If someone has a known history of sexual exploitation of vulnerable people then forgiving them in Christian love does not entail trusting them not to do so again. These are extreme examples obviously and your colleague's shortcomings are tiny in comparison but the same principle applies. Being forgiving does not entail being ok with them having responsibility that they don't have the capacity to achieve to a reasonable standard.

I have read the guidelines and have posted about how the OP has handled the workplace issue.

You have said that you are a Christian. Can you not see that your post appears to be very judgemental towards the dilemma expressed by the opening poster, and lacking in any Christian kindness, empathy or understanding? Can you not see the irony of your words? Out of the heart the mouth speaks, or in the case of message boards, the fingers type.

The OP has been judgemental about a colleague and an issue which is being handled by company management. She appears to be thinking of herself and not her colleague who may be facing issues the OP is not aware of.

And that is fine from your non-Christian world view. Please, though, respect that Christians have Biblical perspective and are sensitive to a sister’s Christian challenges - as expressed by the opening poster. As it says at the top, if you want a theological debate as a non-Christian, this is not the place.

As an aside, I wonder if you would post in a similar tone on the other ‘religious’ boards? No need to answer, as my discussion with you on this topic, on this board, is done.

And neither does it mean covering up mistakes or worse. A

@Interl0per do you manage her at all? Do you have to give her tasks to complete? If she is lying then she needs to be set straight that it is not OK. If she is unable to do a specific task either she needs more training or a different role and so on. The religion doesn’t really come into it here, it’s about acting professionally/work place competence.

This isn’t the context of the op at all though. From my reading of this thread Op is concerned about her internal response to her colleague, not about challenging her colleague’s attitude to her work.

With the greatest of respect, and speaking as a Christian myself, the pp has a point.

Employees should not be judging one another in the workplace according to their religious beliefs, whether that religion is the same or different, or indeed if one party has none at all.

It is clear that the OP wishes to support the colleague, but it has become increasingly evident that this approach is not working. Therefore, the matter has to be referred upwards to supervisors or management. The OP can still support their co-worker personally and with compassion.

This board exists primarily for the use of Christian Mumsnetters.
There are other boards where atheists are welcome to debate the issues, namely the philosophy/religion forum.

Returning to the OP, I have a book of prayers which includes a prayer asking God to take away my anger. I believe there is another in the book that asks God to take away my bitterness but I usually find the anger one challenging and fitting to my situation when I experience workplace frustrations.

In a foundational way, capitalist structures underpinning most workplaces are an inversion of the Kingdom. I believe this why Christians can end up feeling as if their values are compromised in the workplace. My former workplace had a fellowship where we sometimes studied this problem together; there are resources addressing exactly this issue.

What do you mean that most workplaces are an inversion of the Kingdom and that Christians can end up feeling as if their values are compromised?

I don’t expect any of my colleagues to bring religion into the workplace. They are there to work.

@Parker231 I believe this is where you are becoming unstuck on this board. My impression is that Christians reading this board will understand what I am expressing. You seem to lack the frame of reference.

Kingdom values include those with power humbling themselves and becoming the least; an abhorrence of the storing up of wealth as a means of estimating value; a guiding principle of loving everyone equally.

Many or most workplaces are guided by other principles: shareholder value; getting promoted; salary increases as a proxy for worth; controlling the behaviour of those who speak out for justice. Living Biblically can be at odds with a drive to maximise shareholder value as the latter often involves the exploitation of others.

You can believe that as employees we ought not to put our own value systems above those of our employers. I do not agree. Resources are available to help Christians live in accordance with our values and navigate modern workplaces at the same time.

So long as I’m respectful I can post on this thread, the same as anyone can on any thread.

Everyone is expected to behave well in the workplace, that is not solely a Christian value. As a Director of a large global company, I expect my team to work well together for the benefit of our clients, who are the party paying our invoices and ultimately our salaries. Poorly performing employees are managed and monitored to ensure their performance improves to the high standards we expect.

Unfortunately the usual response when someone is unable to engage in respectful discussion - how can both sides learn from each other?