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Original poster

Partner has nowhere to stay whilst I stay in hospital with our son who is recovering from a operation

265 replies

oldmoutcider · 19/10/2025 15:41

Son has had an operation and we were due to stay four nights. Operation didn’t go as planned so we now in for the foreseeable. We had a hotel booked for him to stay at for four nights at a cost to ourselves whilst I stayed at the hospital but we need to stay longer and only one can stay by the bedside.
Hospital are now saying they have no accommodation for him. We are 2.5 hours from home. Any idea what we are expected to do?

OP posts:
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Kirbert2 · 19/10/2025 19:51

Camelcarpet · 19/10/2025 19:36

Hiya, ah I didn't realise that they don't offer family accommodation at the patient hotel... I'm pretty sure I've spoken to family members whose children were inpatients in the kitchens before, but maybe I'd misinterpreted what they were saying. Could be worth an ask tomorrow when it opens again. I hope your son feels better soon.

On another note - is the Disney Reef ever open when you go? It never EVER is when we go and we are there for multiple days at a time. I've asked security to open it before, but they said they can't! It makes me mad!!!! We have been to gosh more times than I care to remember and it's only ever been open twice - one when DC was too tiny to remember and again when DC was having surgery.

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I've just looked up what that is. Strange that it doesn't seem to be open because it looks fantastic for the children and families.

At the hospital my son was at, the only outdoor play area was on the oncology ward. Having one for all of the children is such a great idea.

GooseberryFoolish · 19/10/2025 19:52

My disabled partner had an unexpected 7 nights in hospital 5 hours from home. He cannot self advocate and was seriously ill, so I needed to stay as close as possible, but ICU understandably had heavy restrictions on visitors. I couldn't afford a hotel and there was nothing they could offer. I just lived in the hospital for that time - it was a bit shit, but doable and meant I was never more than 10 minutes away when needed. The hospital initially thought I was homeless and trying to sneakily live there permanently which was a bit embarrassing but easily cleared up. The security team advised I slept somewhere visible, near their station and let them know so they'd add me to their patrol checks when it got weird and quiet. I had a wash each day in a single room visitor loo.

It's not a nice solution, but I needed to be there, so needs must. If you're in the same boat, I advise your DP does the same.

Original poster
oldmoutcider · 19/10/2025 19:52

@Kirbert2Yes fingers crossed. I couldn’t see a way out of it tonight without it having to cost us a fair bit of money x

OP posts:
Kirbert2 · 19/10/2025 19:58

GooseberryFoolish · 19/10/2025 19:52

My disabled partner had an unexpected 7 nights in hospital 5 hours from home. He cannot self advocate and was seriously ill, so I needed to stay as close as possible, but ICU understandably had heavy restrictions on visitors. I couldn't afford a hotel and there was nothing they could offer. I just lived in the hospital for that time - it was a bit shit, but doable and meant I was never more than 10 minutes away when needed. The hospital initially thought I was homeless and trying to sneakily live there permanently which was a bit embarrassing but easily cleared up. The security team advised I slept somewhere visible, near their station and let them know so they'd add me to their patrol checks when it got weird and quiet. I had a wash each day in a single room visitor loo.

It's not a nice solution, but I needed to be there, so needs must. If you're in the same boat, I advise your DP does the same.

When my son was at his sickest in intensive care and it wasn't certain which way it was going to go, they told us that visiting hours didn't apply to my son's family and that first little while, they allowed my mum to sleep on the sofa in the ICU parents room.

Original poster
oldmoutcider · 19/10/2025 19:58

@GooseberryFoolishAw that doesn’t sound very nice at all. I am sorry you had to go through that. It doesn’t seem
right at all. hope your partner is doing well now xxx

OP posts:
TheCorrsDidDreamsBetter · 19/10/2025 20:00

ReadingSoManyThreads · 19/10/2025 17:28

Exactly, her timings are all over the show, although, I get she has bigger things on her mind.

If they are 2.5hrs away, that's a commutable distance, many people commute that who work in London (my DH included).

But saying this as a mother who has had both of her babies admitted into paediatrics for week long stays each (I get your stay is much longer), my DH never stayed over. He continued to work as usual, and we spoke/text via phone to keep him up to date. I do understand your child is going through a difficult time, but it would be unusual to have both parents there all of the time.

If your DP isn't working, then he can commute in in the morning, and commute back home in the evenings if he needs to spend the days there with you both.

Hopefully, you can get something sorted with the hospital from tomorrow, but if they cannot help, then realistically, you either need to pay for accommodation, or swap every few days with each other, or your DP commutes.

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TBF to the OP, if her car is at home then it could be that it's 2.5 hours by train, 5 hours by car.

We live up north and from Wakefield to London it's about 2 hours on the train, but by car from our house we could be looking at 4-6 hours.

RawBloomers · 19/10/2025 20:05

KookyRoseCrab · 19/10/2025 16:42

Daughter was admitted to hospital at 2 yrs old and I stayed then the hospital chucked me out as I had a flu virus and husband had to stay . It’s not their problem to find a bed you are lucky they are letting you stay

They are lucky she’s staying. You should surely have noticed that having very young children in hospital without a parent there would be a nightmare for the care team. The ward would require more staff, and outcomes for their patients would be worse, if young children didn’t routinely have a parent with them.

OP isn’t asking for a hotel room next to her DC, she’s trying to work out how she and her husband can support their son at a really worrying time. It’s problematic that the support for parents isn’t fully active at the weekend.

Mich1986 · 19/10/2025 20:14

TomatoSandwiches · 19/10/2025 16:43

Ignore the people saying you only need one parent, technically it's true but after staying at 3 different hospitals over 6 months with our son I can categorically confirm that you need both parents ideally, it's very stressful for one parent to stay with no support.

Nurses don't actually nurse like they used to, you can't even go to the toilet, go get food if your child is awake and unable to be left alone, no one will supervise a bay at all.

I really sympathise because they should take things like this into consideration but they don't, it really hurts families that are already in need of support.

Yup this happened to me when my nearly 3 year old at the time was unexpectedly admitted to hospital, they wouldn’t let dad in before or after certain times, there was no food offered even though I couldn’t leave her bedside, I had to take her with me to the toilet. She had a neck injury so I didn’t want to move her about too much, it was really hard work.

Almostwelsh · 19/10/2025 20:14

For all those suggesting a commute, if she's 2.5 hours from home by train, but 4+ hours by car, thats one of the fast train lines into London from the North and they are VERY expensive. If you can't book months ahead then tickets can be in excess of 100 pounds each way. It's not feasible, you can get cheap accommodation for less than that, even in London plus you have the advantage of being close by as needed.

Toddlerteaplease · 19/10/2025 20:45

We have parents sleeping in cars if they can’t go to a hotel. Our patient
accommodation is monopolised by PICU. There is a house across the road but that’s only for oncology children. We desperately need a Ronald McDonald house. Not sure why we haven’t got one. We have children from all over the country.

Labamba78 · 19/10/2025 20:56

Mich1986 · 19/10/2025 20:14

Yup this happened to me when my nearly 3 year old at the time was unexpectedly admitted to hospital, they wouldn’t let dad in before or after certain times, there was no food offered even though I couldn’t leave her bedside, I had to take her with me to the toilet. She had a neck injury so I didn’t want to move her about too much, it was really hard work.

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This happened to me too. I suspect the people being quite flippant about a partner being able to be there have not experienced having an unwell child in hospital for a prolonged period of time. I couldn’t eat for hours and hours on end, it’s fine initially but starts to really wear you down.
sorry OP this all sounds really tough.

KickHimInTheCrotch · 19/10/2025 21:06

Kirbert2 · 19/10/2025 19:58

When my son was at his sickest in intensive care and it wasn't certain which way it was going to go, they told us that visiting hours didn't apply to my son's family and that first little while, they allowed my mum to sleep on the sofa in the ICU parents room.

Show quote history

When my brother was in ICU I stayed in the family room all night. He nearly died that night and I wanted to be with him.

Kirbert2 · 19/10/2025 21:08

KickHimInTheCrotch · 19/10/2025 21:06

When my brother was in ICU I stayed in the family room all night. He nearly died that night and I wanted to be with him.

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It was the same with my son too. Very scary times, I hope your brother is doing well now.

Shufflebumnessie · 19/10/2025 21:15

I know you're sorted for tonight but if you need further nights the Thanet Hotel Annex is showing on Expedia as £43 for a private double room with ensuite. It's a 9 minute walk from GOSH.
Or The Thanet Hotel (guess it's next door!) Is £45 for a room.
Really hope your DS recovers very soon.

MikeRafone · 19/10/2025 21:15

GypsyQueeen · 19/10/2025 18:17

Some of the responses on here seem a bit harsh.

Clearly the woman has had an awful week.

If you can't offer support or advice why comment? Just keep it moving.

this ^

sorry op that you are having such a difficult time. I really don't think that people on here have any idea what is is like with a child in hospital, being miles away from home and any friends or family support, not working and having unpaid time off work, then the expense of eating from vending machines and drink machines.

She of the responses are ignorant
hopefully your return trip and operation will be a success

Blump2783 · 19/10/2025 21:29

Check out the new zedwell capsule hotel if you aren't claustrophobic and just need somewhere to sleep.

Blump2783 · 19/10/2025 21:29

Check out the new zedwell capsule hotel if you aren't claustrophobic and just need somewhere to sleep.

Blump2783 · 19/10/2025 21:29

Check out the new zedwell capsule hotel if you aren't claustrophobic and just need somewhere to sleep.

Blump2783 · 19/10/2025 21:29

Check out the new zedwell capsule hotel if you aren't claustrophobic and just need somewhere to sleep.

Blump2783 · 19/10/2025 21:30

Check out the new zedwell capsule hotel if you aren't claustrophobic and just need somewhere to sleep.

Blump2783 · 19/10/2025 21:30

Check out the new zedwell capsule hotel if you aren't claustrophobic and just need somewhere to sleep.

Blump2783 · 19/10/2025 21:32

Check out the new zedwell capsule hotel if he isn't claustrophobic and just needs a place to sleep. Alternatively look at places on the outskirts of London on the main trainlines from King's Cross as they will be cheaper.

Blump2783 · 19/10/2025 21:32

Check out the new zedwell capsule hotel if he isn't claustrophobic and just needs a place to sleep. Alternatively look at places on the outskirts of London on the main trainlines from King's Cross as they will be cheaper.

Blump2783 · 19/10/2025 21:32

Check out the new zedwell capsule hotel if he isn't claustrophobic and just needs a place to sleep. Alternatively look at places on the outskirts of London on the main trainlines from King's Cross as they will be cheaper.

Blump2783 · 19/10/2025 21:32

Check out the new zedwell capsule hotel if he isn't claustrophobic and just needs a place to sleep. Alternatively look at places on the outskirts of London on the main trainlines from King's Cross as they will be cheaper.