Step children have never been to the dentist, what happens now?

[rose9826]

My partner's two children, 8 and 10 have never been taken to the dentist. 10 year old has a hole in her tooth, and the 8 year old has some weird lump in her gum at the minute that hurts and she also has a hole.
I've told their dad that it's actually classed as neglect if they've never been, and they have holes and she's not had them looked at.
I know their mum's teeth are bad too.
When we have them their dad is constantly trying to get into their heads that they need to brush their teeth every morning and night regardless of what mummy says (apparently she said before that they don't need to brush their teeth every day) and it doesn't seem like she enforces it as a basic hygiene rule either.

I'm just wondering what will happen when she hopefully does take them to the dentist, will it get flagged up with social services?
I have a good relationship with their mum and obviously don't want her to get into trouble but I also think it's appalling that they have never been. I have two of my own that are 2 and 5 and they go to the dentist, as do I.
I said to their dad if she can't/won't take them soon, I will sign them up to my dentist, but I feel like it's her responsibility as their mother to get it done regardless of what has stopped her from doing it all these years.

Just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and what's happened?

Is this a troll post? Whats stopped HIM taking them to the dentist all these years?

He has neglected them just as much as she has

You can't sign them up unless you have parental responsibility which is unlikely

No it's not a troll post at all. Nothing has stopped him from taking them to the dentist but she has told him multiple times over the years that she's going to take them or that she has taken them but it's turned out she lied and never took them.

I agree he should have done something about it too, I do agree, and I have told him this too. But my main question it what will happen when they do get signed up if the dentist realises they've never been before.

It's such a shame that there are laws preventing dads taking their dc to the dentist.

Seriously though, how can you find that attractive, set better standards ffs.

I'm not talking about him, I'm asking a question about what will happen when they do go?

This.

Probably nothing. Lots of children have cavities sadly. If they are otherwise cared for I wouldn’t worry too much. Take them now, get these things treated and keep up the tooth brushing message.

Nothing, lots of children are neglected by their parents, hope that makes it ok for you.

I feel like it's her responsibility as their mother to get it done regardless of what has stopped her from doing it all these years

Why? There’s so much more to say about this insane comment but I’d like to know why you think it?

You say you’re not talking about this part of it but you should be. You chose to have kids with a man who didn’t take the ones he already had to the dentist, for 10 years and you’re wasting energy wanging on about social services.

So, basically you are worried the dentist will think CPS needs to be involved or something and you don't want to upset your lovely partner because God forbid he gets in trouble or something and you get blamed. Is that about right? it sounds line both parents are neglectful and you have the power to help the poor children - and you should. The dad and mum are despicable.

Absolutely nothing will happen when they go, there's no law that they have to go and the bar for neglect is sadly much lower than that.

Very clearly though your partner should have taken them, shame on him.

They are lucky to have you looking out for them btw op

I imagine the Dentist will give him a dressing down and tell him to stop blaming his ex, as the kids have two parents.

But, she's not.

Loads of kids have never been to the dentist, now that it's impossible to register with an NHS one.

It's appalling that thereare no regular free check ups for children any more.

Hang on, so both parents have been neglectful. Dad says brush your teeth, wow, well done dad but still you’re expecting the mother to take responsibility for this. Here’s an idea, forget the mother as she’s clearly fucking useless when it comes to her children’s health and talk to the other useless parent about taking control of the situation as you have more sway with the dad than the mum I expect.

Nothing will happen.

Your partner needs to ring a dentist for his children on Monday.

The child with what sounds like an abscess needs to be examined immediately before she ends up in terrible pain

It isn’t impossible to register a child with an NHS dentist. I know we’re lucky but we’re not unique and I registered my one year old within the last few months.

Dad needs to get off his arse and look after his children! Unbelievable.

So you married a man who knows his ex doesn’t take care of their children’s basic needs, and he just leaves them in that situation. Meanwhile, you blame her. Makes sense. Glad everyone’s prioritising the kids.

Nothing will happen. They might get told off. The parent might get told off. They might just be gently encouraged to visit more often. Their teeth will be fixed.

You are being unreasonable to put the blame solely on the mum but to answer your question.. I don't think it will be reported to social services. The dentist will probably just firmly tell the parents that they need to regularly get their teeth checked.

Don't think anything will happen, perhaps if now it's been noticed and they're in pain and neither parents are agreeing to take them it could be reported. But doubt a dentist would report or anything would be followed up once they are being treated.