Peeling sunburn - can’t get over the guilt

[cat0281]

We went on a beach holiday last week with my 6 year old and two year old. We never usually do beach holidays. I wasn’t careful enough with my six year old who was playing in the water and he got sunburnt which has started peeling. He isn’t in any pain.

I have always been so careful in the sun and cannot believe I have let this happen. I can’t shake the guilt. I wake up in the morning with a feeling of impending doom, almost like I have been told he has got skin cancer. I have to remind myself he doesn’t have cancer yet, just sunburnt, and he might be ok. I’m spiralling. I saw a doctor and have started taking anxiety medication but it won’t kick in for a while. I just don’t know what to do or how I will live with myself. I don’t want to let my son outside in the sun ever again but I know that’s not fair.

I guess I am looking for someone to tell me that one incidence of sunburn isn’t that bad (though I don’t for a minute think I haven’t been extremely stupid and irresponsible) and that my boy might be ok 🥲

Obsessing about it isn't going to undo it, and you didn't intentionally do it so there's not much to be learned imo other than that your rash vest was a good purchase. My worst sunburn was on a cloudy day on a riverboat on my face, wasn't even hot and sunny, mistakes happen.

I suggest a change of focus and eg go out and do something nice with them, remind yourself of all the lovely protective things you have done and will do as a parent. Nobody's perfect

(Recovered ocd person talking)

@HardRockOwl you are right. I’m on here because I’m so desperate and scared. I’m going to seek help.

Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice. I’m very grateful for the kindness of strangers. xx

I'm in my 50's. Lived in tropics and got severely sun burnt many times (blistered). Neither I nor my siblings have had skin cancer.

Learn from this (my parents didn't) and don't fret.

It didn't take me too long to get over it but this is really about your anxiety, not the sunburn. Anxiety can be so debilitating and you really need to be compassionate towards yourself. I hope you have some real life support too?

Everyone gets burnt once or twice surely? On the plus side, if it hurts, they now know why they need suncream

Pretty sure sunburn was a rite of passage for most kids growing up in the 80s/90s! I'm very pale and got burned a couple of times as a kid. I remember loving peeling off the skin

OP your reply wasn’t selfish at all. Just know that you are not alone and I’m sure we’ve all beaten ourselves up over some of our parenting decisions in the past . No one is perfect and we make mistakes. It’s not as if you deliberately set out to harm your ds.
Take it easy on yourself and I’m sure you will calm down soon and put it behind you,

OP please chill out. Every child will get burned at some point in their life and young skin peels way more easily. He will not get cancer from this one time, you have to go through years of skin abuse to get cancer. I really hope you are getting some help for your anxiety, it must be so debilitating for you, and you will not enjoy motherhood with such a high level of guilt.
PLEASE don't stop taking him to the sea - kids love it and they need these happy times.

Same with my mum! She used to spread Vaseline or olive oil over her skin, then go lie in the sun for hours. 😱 So far, she’s freckly but fine.

I had my fair share of peeling burns and sunstroke growing up. It was just part of the summer in the 90s. I was also allergic to sun cream. I try to be more careful now, but I wouldn’t beat myself up too much about one single burn.

What's done is done I'm afraid. I had uv protection swim short and hat sets for mine from they were tiny. They were from Australia so very high spf. That said even then I always kept them in the shade as much as humanly possible so always managed to avoid them being burned.

Have a look for uv clothing, that plus shade worked for us. Good luck!

I thought you were going to say you felt guilty about peeling the kids sunburnt skin and suggest sporner corner.

People get sunburnt sometimes. It's not great, but it's not like everyone who grew up in the 80s and before are dying of skin cancer and there was no sun cream then.

I remember when it began to show up on my radar and it was only very blonde or ginger white kids who were told they needed it.

Hi OP, I know you have already bought a uv suit so that will make things easier going forward. I use P20/Boots all day sun cream (I do still reapply) and then top up with this for water play.

www.boots.com/soltan-once-kids-3hr-protect-swim-spray-spf50-200ml-10245670

These things happen and you'll be super on it from now on so it will be a one off, try not to beat yourself up. Just wanted to give a few extra tools so you can start to feel more confident about being in the sun again.

I'm really glad you are getting mental health help. Having kids can make your anxiety levels soar and it isn't good for you let alone your kids.

Don't try and fix this by being more vigilant in future and buying sun suits..that won't work and just plays into the supermum, I'll fix everything trope.

The single most helpful piece of advice I was given as a young mum was that it wasn't all on me..I felt the entire burden of raising this tiny human and it came out in weird ways. It's not all on you. Youve done the hard bits, getting them through the very early years. Deep breath and be kind to yourself x

Don’t do that, they’ll be missing out on safe fun if you do. UV suits, sun hats and shade when the sun is highest. I really feel for you as I have health anxiety too but you will get through this and he will be fine. Aloe Vera and lots of it for now.

This just seems like unhelpful boasting from you.