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Children's health

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Original poster

8 week old hasn't stopped crying

119 replies

SpideyMom · 28/05/2019 18:36

I am not sure this is the correct place to post this but I am asking on behalf of a friend.

She gave birth 8 weeks ago and he daughter hasn't stopped crying since. Almost turning purple. Every waking moment aside from feeding she is screaming. She cannot be consoled.

Both parents are showing signs of depression now. All doctors and health visitors etc tell them she is fine. That they can't find any thing wrong. But she cannot be comforted or soothed.

We all thought colic but doctors are adamant it isn't.

We are all really worried now. Can it really be the case that there is nothing wrong? You can hear her screaming up the road and she just gets louder and louder it's so sad for all of them. But if course we would all be absolutely devastated if something was actually wrong.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

WhenZogateSuperworm · 28/05/2019 18:37

That must be so difficult for them. I would push for a paediatrician referral to be honest. Some babies cry a lot, but some cry because they have reflux or CMPA and need some help.

moreismore · 28/05/2019 18:38

What sort of delivery did they have? A paediatric chiropractor or osteopath would be another route to go...

Original poster

SpideyMom · 28/05/2019 18:41

We don't know what to do anymore. Because we 'aren't doctors' they don't like being told so bite at our suggestions.
It is terriblg hard and they are finding everything so difficult. But as doctors have said nothing is wrong they believe it.

But none of us do. I'm not saying our opinion overrides a doctors but I can't explain the crying. It's draining to be around for less than an hour

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Original poster

SpideyMom · 28/05/2019 18:42

It's was a long labour. Nothing was happening. After 3 days she had to have an emergency section

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Original poster

SpideyMom · 28/05/2019 18:49

We have even mentioned about a milk allergy. Doctors have said no as well

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Rainycloudyday · 28/05/2019 18:52

That really doesn’t sound right at all, your poor friends. I would be tempted to stage a sit in at the GP surgery - make camp in the waiting room and stay there until the doctor agrees to refer to a paediatrician. Constant crying of that nature isn’t normal and perhaps the doctor needs to be on the receiving end for an hour or two to accept that it’s more than the usual baby crying.

moreismore · 28/05/2019 18:55

There’s a chance the baby is in discomfort from the delivery...

WhiskeyJarro · 28/05/2019 18:55

The definition of colic is unexplained crying so I'm perplexed that she's been told it isn't that?

StinkySaurus · 28/05/2019 19:02

Have they tried carrying the baby in a sling? Might help to relieve any discomfort for the baby.

Original poster

SpideyMom · 28/05/2019 19:07

Yes all tried. The one night they ended up in A&E and she cried the whole time and all they said was she's got a good set of lungs on her.

I've told them that I'd not move from the doctors until I got a referral. I get well you aren't a doctor.

I get them being snappy but I'm so worried. I saw a photo of her earlier and straight away I said she looks so distressed

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Dvg · 28/05/2019 19:11

I would be moving doctors, firstly they cant say no to milk allergy as they cant do tests for that and symptoms can go unseen, my baby is on milk free formula and had to be sat upright all the time not on his back, my doctor said it probably wasnt a milk allergy but let me try the prescribed milk anyway and he is fine on it but i would be going to another surgery as they should be trying everything they can rather than just saying the baby is fine.

Original poster

SpideyMom · 28/05/2019 19:14

Exactly. It's like we are hitting a brick wall. We only went to help but they think we are sticking our noses in

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53rdWay · 28/05/2019 19:29

Also puzzled they said it’s not colic if it’s crying and they don’t think anything’s wrong

Is the baby literally crying every waking minute apart from feeds? If it’s more an evening/night thing then that’s typical colic and it is HELL but all you can really do is wait for them to grow out of it. If it’s 24/7 screaming then yes that probably suggests something else is wrong.

I get why you’re so worried about the baby but it does sound like they’re seeing doctors, HVs, even taking the baby to A&E, so they are doing something about it even if it’s not as assertive an approach as you (or me) would take.

Original poster

SpideyMom · 28/05/2019 19:36

The A&E visit was forced. I made them do it. We spent 48 hours with them and it was horrendous. And I feel awful for admitting that but it was. Both parents looked drained. Like their lives were over. My son spent the whole time with his hands over his ears. We were on edge the whole time. It was not enjoyable. She seemed to hate being on her back or having her hips moved. But she cried every waking moment bar being fed. And has continued to do so.

I do hope they are pursuing medical advice. They do everything by the book so the fact they are being told there is nothing wrong they feel like they have to accept it.

I wish I could stop worrying. But I'd make a nuisance of myself personally. I had to when my son was a baby. A referall later he was given o lac and was a different baby. But I refused to be told he was fine. As i knew inside he wasn't

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MigGril · 28/05/2019 19:47

Although you said they took the baby to A&E and she was seen crying then. Has the GP and health visitor seen the baby crying? It took my friend filming her baby and showing the GP before she got a refural as annoyingly often they behave when you take them to see someone.
A&E can do some tests but not everything, this does sound like it needs more investigation.
Do they have a close relative you can approach who they trust who they may take more advice from? As information coming from someone they really trust may be helpful.

I feel your frustration though my sister is one to follow professional advice over anyone else even if you've had your own experances. She'd even rather fall out with me over, so there are just things we can't talk about.

Original poster

SpideyMom · 28/05/2019 19:52

This is the territory we are entering though now. They are getting very angry at us apparently interfering. I've just been sent a video saying we don't know what to do. The baby is screaming and arching right back and is throwing herself about. It's upset me terribly. If they were closer I'd be there to help all I can.
Anyone who has an opinion that isn't the same as the doctors gets a whole load of attitude

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homemadegin · 28/05/2019 19:55

Cranial osteopath without a doubt for me. This was my DD. HV kept saying it was normal, it was not. Two sessions and like a different baby. Planned section here but still sore from delivery. He described it like you lying in bed and someone chucking a bucket of ice over you causing you to jar.

Original poster

SpideyMom · 28/05/2019 19:56

How did you get to the referall please?

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Celebelly · 28/05/2019 19:56

Could be silent reflux. The arching is quite typical of pain and discomfort. If they aren't willing to push with doctors then they could try Carobel, which is a milk thickener and can reduce reflux, and doesn't need to be prescribed. Is baby formula or breast fed?

DiaryofWimpyMumm · 28/05/2019 19:57

My son was like this. We eventually got prescription milk and it helped a little bit but he still cried a lot. I feel really sorry for them because I know how horrendous it is.

Celebelly · 28/05/2019 19:58

Also give them a link to Cry-sis. They have a helpline and other resources. They must be bloody exhausted and drained, I can't imagine dealing with crying at that level.

www.cry-sis.org.uk/

homemadegin · 28/05/2019 19:59

For a cranial osteopath? I didn't. They wouldn't refer me for anything, I went private on local recommendation from a doula and baby massage teacher. She actually popped in and watched DD and after five minutes agreed she needed seen pronto. He saw me that night.

Iwrotethissongfor · 28/05/2019 19:59

You’re not party to everything that’s being said by medics and HV etc so you may be missing something. Honestly It sounds like you’re making things worse going on and on at them about how distressed she is - no shit they know that they’re the ones looking after her which much be miserable. They’re engaging with health professionals and they’re looking after her. You say they don’t want advice so I’m not sure why you’re asking for more advice to pass on when they don’t want it. You say they look knackered and depressed why don’t you try and support them rather than stating the obvious and telling them how their crying daughter looks unhappy and tell them how well they’re doing to look after her, that it must be hard but things won’t always be like this, offer to take her out a walk in the pram so they get a rest or take them over some homemade food or buy a cake or some takeaway?

Celebelly · 28/05/2019 20:00

Also why are they sending you videos but then not interested in your opinion or think you're interfering?

Original poster

SpideyMom · 28/05/2019 20:00

The video has really upset me to be honest. They have had 8 weeks of this now. Their relationship is in tatters. They are so overwhelmed.
I am crying for the baby. But for them too. If you heard it yourself you would be concerned

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