8 week old hasn't stopped crying

[SpideyMom]

Hi

I am not sure this is the correct place to post this but I am asking on behalf of a friend.

She gave birth 8 weeks ago and he daughter hasn't stopped crying since. Almost turning purple. Every waking moment aside from feeding she is screaming. She cannot be consoled.

Both parents are showing signs of depression now. All doctors and health visitors etc tell them she is fine. That they can't find any thing wrong. But she cannot be comforted or soothed.

We all thought colic but doctors are adamant it isn't.

We are all really worried now. Can it really be the case that there is nothing wrong? You can hear her screaming up the road and she just gets louder and louder it's so sad for all of them. But if course we would all be absolutely devastated if something was actually wrong.

Poor baby. Does the baby ever sleep?

The screaming and arching definitely point to reflux!

How is baby when feeding?

Sorry for those thinking I am interfering. I am here because I do no believe they are engaging health professionals. When mentioned we are told why do we need to do that again. We have already been told enough.
We would love to support them. They don't want help. They are isolating themselves.

If baby is arching their back and wriggling around in discomfort it could be silent reflux?

It can be painful for babies so young and if silent version of reflux then no other symptoms so hard to diagnose sometimes!

If it is silent reflux then doctor will prescribe infant Gaviscon to add to feeds to help with the acid burning sensation and thicken up feeds.

Baby is feeding constantly

The constant feeding points to reflux too. It's a vicious cycle as the milk eases the burning but then it makes the reflux worse, so the only time they're not in discomfort is when feeding.

She's just been crying to me. She is feeding 12 times a day. That seems an awful lot?

If they’re sending you a video like that saying they don’t know what to do then presumably they’re asking you for SOMETHING though?

I would stick to practical suggestions: “go back to the GP” or “ask to see a different GP” or “ask for a referral to hospital.” Don’t give them combative suggestions like “refuse to leave until you get XYZ.” I don’t blame you for suggesting that at all, it’s just that if they’re very deferent to authority then they won’t do it.

Oh and yes to giving them the details for Cry-sis.

Although this does sound like baby probably had reflux and they should seek further advice, I would say that 12 feeds a day is normal for newborns. Also please research cranial osteopathy before suggesting it as it's not based in any actual scientific evidence.

Oh it's bloody silent reflux. I'll bet my life. Pay for a private ped appointment. They will give the meds and the gp will adjust the dose every 2 weeks (very weight dependent). Sod waiting.

You could be talking about my neighbours.

Their baby cries literally all day long. It's actually really difficult to listen too. They've had huge rows, it must be really stressful for them. I really want to help but don't want them to think I'm interfering.

I had a v hard time with my first (reflux, multiple allergies and various other things) so no judgement. It's soul destroying looking after a crying baby.

My friend had a dd like this. She slept well but basically, if she was awake, she was SCREAMING. For around 5 months. She was also an insanely highly strung child and emotionally unstable teen. She's very bright and now in medical school. Sometimes they are just hard work but it can all work out.

If they're sending you video saying they don't know what to do, they can't complain if you push them to do something and provide some ideas. FWIW doctors etc often don't engage because "babies cry" and they're busy. Reflux, milk allergy, something out of joint from labour, something else...agree with pp that camping out at the GP is an idea

She sleeps well but when awake it's terrible.
They live in a top floor flat. They are terrified about what their neighbours are thinking.

The dad has just called me nearly crying. I can hear her in the background screaming. I am really their only go to as I am the one who's had the baby most recently albeit 4 years ago now.
I said please speak to the gp again. Show them the videos. Tell them how it's making you feel. He said he is sick of them all saying she has an impressive scream. They only have to hear it for a few minutes. That's all they hear.
I told him we just want to help in any way we can. It's so sad

@aidelmaidel please can you explain about the labour?

Basically the moms pelvis is very small so she was told the baby was basically pushing on that and unable to get further. As I say after 3 day she ended up in a c section, which ended up getting terribly infected.

I adore them all so much. It breaks my heart what they are going through.

That actually sounds a bit more hopeful - it’s not so much that they agree with the doctors, it’s that they can’t stand being brushed off and not helped again.

Do they know how much you had to push to get your own child’s diagnosis? I’d remind them of that and say you 100% understand how soul-crushing it is when the professionals don’t help you, but it’s worth all the trouble once you finally get seen by someone who can.

Unfortunately they need to advocate for themselves and their daughter. There's nothing you can do other than keep repeating the same advice. They need to really push for help and do their own research to back them up.

I've just told him. He said they make out they are over worrying. I said to him a doctor sees many people every day, for 5 or 10 minutes. They switch off.
I kept being fobbed off. Until 1 day id had enough. I didn't care if I looked oversensitive or making mountains out of mole hills. That referall made me feel like I was being listened too.

I think you are right. It's the lack of getting anywhere.

They really are a wonderful family. I hope the pursue help via a referral

Sounds very like reflux to me, possibly CMPA.

Could they afford to see a private pead/ paediatric gastroenterologist? Would circumvent their useless GP if so. If they are in/near London they could do no better than to see Dr Neil Shah at GOSH.

Yes they are in London

Is it costly?

Colic basically means unexplained crying. So it is colic. Unfortunately doctors don’t take it seriously. We were close to calling an ambulance several times.

My daughter was the same. Screaming until her eyes were bulging and no sound came out. Arching her back. Wouldn’t be put down. It turned out to be a dairy allergy and as I was breastfeeding I completely gave up all dairy and soy (doctors fobbed me off loads and didn’t even suggest this). We also tried a lot of reflux medication (gaviscon, ranitidine which didn’t help). The giving up dairy worked and within a few weeks she was a different baby. There is a prescription formula you can get if the baby isn’t breastfed.

I think people who haven’t had a baby like this won’t understand. Even now DD still cries a lot but it’s ‘normal’ for us. I would say though as a PP said- stop saying how much the baby cries/ isn’t normal etc. to them. They already know the baby cries a lot and don’t need reminding. Just be there to support with household things and gently pass on some info. Try not to make a big drama of the baby crying- trust me it makes things a lot worse, as much as I know your intentions are good.

But failing the funds to go private they need to video her, make an emergency appointment and make it perfectly, if politely, clear that they will not be moving their bottoms off the Dr's chair until they have an urgent paed referral. Enough is enough. They need to gird their loins and push through their own discomfort at nagging. Their DD is dependent on them and, in the nicest possible way, they need to step up and advocate for her as hard as it takes.

Just seen your update with them asking for advice!

Actually the same issue we had with the doc. My guess would be cows milk allergy.