8 week old hasn't stopped crying

[SpideyMom]

Hi

I am not sure this is the correct place to post this but I am asking on behalf of a friend.

She gave birth 8 weeks ago and he daughter hasn't stopped crying since. Almost turning purple. Every waking moment aside from feeding she is screaming. She cannot be consoled.

Both parents are showing signs of depression now. All doctors and health visitors etc tell them she is fine. That they can't find any thing wrong. But she cannot be comforted or soothed.

We all thought colic but doctors are adamant it isn't.

We are all really worried now. Can it really be the case that there is nothing wrong? You can hear her screaming up the road and she just gets louder and louder it's so sad for all of them. But if course we would all be absolutely devastated if something was actually wrong.

Has the baby been checked for a tongue tie? It can make babies feed inefficiently meaning they end up hungry.

The only options I could think of are:
Tongue tie
Oral thrush
Reflux
Milk intolerance

I hope they find something that helps.

Baby was seen by the doctor again today. Doctor doesn't believe she is showing signs of anything and they just have a screamer.

How can a doctor not notice how reddened her skin is though and can't hear how she's crying. Her poor skin is patchy and dry.
I mentioned tongue tie a while ago but they say she's been checked for that too.
Her tongue though does seem large for her mouth. Her mouth is always open with her tongue out.

I think I need to stop worrying now. I personally feel that something isn't right but I just hope for her sake she isn't in any type of pain.

The dr sounds like he/she knows the square root of fuck all about this. Sadly, many GPS are woefully ignorant in this regard.

What exactly would be the risk of trying, for three weeks, a hypo-allergenic formula? Absolutely none, that's what.

If it made no difference, then no harm done. However, if it did alleviate the symptoms, then that would be life changing for all three of them.

Of course, the real risk is to the GP's budget, as they will have to pay for the expensive formula, rather than the parents. FFS.

That poor, poor baby, being left to suffer like this. I could wring the GP's neck.

Oh, and the skin thing is classic.

Fucking GP.

My DD with cmpa had the same rash as littleyellowpencils baby.

It's very hard for you because it's not your baby and you can only say so much.

How can drs not know she says. When my DD was born she had a clear rash on her skin. I knew it wasn't right (she was my third), but when I asked the midwife she said "she's only just been born, give her a chance to look normal". I mentioned it to another midwife on day 3 and she said it was newborn skin. By day 4 I took her to the doctors for something else and they said she was she was really ill with the rash (and looked like the photo above) with awful diorreah and other signs of cmpa and was admitted to hospital. The doctors never managed to identify the rash. I told them I suspected cmpa but was told it doesn't happen that young. She's now on special formula. Every time we trial her on normal formula she shows symptoms on cmpa (our proof). Doctors are woefully uneducated in this area.

I feel sad for any baby whose parents don't know how to advocate for them, especially ones in pain.

How long is the longest baby will quieyen for? Does baby sleep? What's her weight on her red book? When you say baby goes purple what do you mean, when does this happen. How are babies nappies? Solid diarrhea, liquid , smelly green end? All might help establish a cause. I had a similar situation which was horrific so know how it's exhausting. Finally what is baby fed on?

Id say wait until the baby is screaming like mad and go to a and e. We ended up there without my daughter after shexwent purple and stopped breathing. They diagnosed CMPA straight away and put her on a specialist milk which had an immediate magic effect. Unfortunately this milk only worked forcabout4cweejs until we were back at stage one. Appatentlyvshevis so allergic the protein the usual milks doontvwork meaning neocaye or nutramagin puramino are the only truly hypo allergenic milks available. We had the puramino and it was a miracle.was definitely whatx was needed.. unfortunately its £38.50 for a small tin and even though hospiral deemed it necessary we had to buy it forxa ges before our gp would start to presctibe which was a joje as the tins ate half normal size too.
Ultimately a and e was the rooutecyo a diagnosis so I suggest yo go for it.

My DS screamed for 12 hours a day. Everyday. Until he could walk, he was late at 19months but it tailed off.

I thought I was going to end up in a mental home. I'm also a single parent by choice. It was the WORST time of my life and no HP would listen. Just said I had PND.

Some babies do just cry. It does eventually stop.

And I have to say, DS has become the easiest toddler and child, now heading into Year 1 at school and thriving.

Like a PP I am still quite traumatised by those first 2 years.

Thank you for your replies.

I actually thought the photo posted was the baby at first – beautiful baby by the way.

I am feeling a real mixture of emotions now to be honest. I only offer my opinion as I have had challenges with my own child that I have had to overcome the resistance of Doctors. So why do they ask me ‘what happened when….etc’ and then say well the Doctor says she is fine, so we just have a screamer. Apparently she is not showing any symptoms of an allergy. I would disagree. My sons poos were bright yellow and smelt like vinegar. A doctor wouldn’t do anything for weeks. Kept telling me to persevere. That babies dont have allegies. Then one day he told me to continue, ‘baby will grow out of it’. I asked will he be in any pain, he answered yes, so I told him to not expect me to accept my baby had to live in pain. He was prescribed Enfamil and it honestly was lifechanging.

I cant help but feel abit angry though about all this. As a PP has said what is the harm in trying. I have argued this with them. They are worried about wasting money. I have said but you wont be as she can still drink the lactose free milk. There is no harm in trying and potentially a lot to gain. They have refused as as the doctor says she if fine, they don’t want to disrupt her digestion. They have now been told calpol is the answer. I am livid as if that calms her surely that could mean she is in some type of discomfort?

For the baby’s sake only, I do hope she is just a screamer. And I don’t wish that on anyone. But the thought of her little body feeling uncomfortable day in day out breaks my heart

I have just had another read of other poster experiences of their own children going through something similar. It is actually upsetting me how Doctors are brushing it off :(

They need to look at Lactose overload. I had a thread on here and it was a game changer with my lo. Not that he was anywhere near as bad as this little one but it sounds like she's over feeding dreadfully. 12 x6oz is 72oz, her body just won't cope with that amount. Maybe I'm reading it wrong but that sounds like a huge issue if I've got it right.
I'll try and find it and link.

"Lactose overload Many healthy, thriving, babies develop gastric symptoms, such as; excessive gas and frequent,watery bowel movements* due to lactose overload, which is associated with large, frequent feeds.These symptoms cause tummy pains. A baby with tummy pain can appear to be hungry because he seeks to feed in an attempt to relieve this discomfort, (which it does but only temporarily). However, the extra feedings could further add to the vicious cycle of lactose overload and gastric symptoms.

"Unfortunately, all too often 'lactose overload' is mistakenly diagnosed as lactose intoleranceor food or milk allergy or intolerance(to dairy foods or other foods in the mother's diet). A breastfed baby may beeither weaned from the breast onto a lactose-free formula or the mother feels compelled to make dietary restrictions. Both of which are unnecessary and unhelpful in this situation. This problem of lactose overload can be resolved simply by making appropriate changes to feeding management.A mistaken diagnosis may result in a formula fed baby being switched tosoy or lactose free formula"

Once we realised this was probably the issue it resolved within days. I had to work really hard to establish a feeding routine (6oz every 3 hours, 2 night feeds) and get naps in for an hour before each feed. It was exhausting but so worth it, changed all of our lives.
She's being drastically over fed, some babies don't respond to on demand, they need parent led routine and structure.

What I am finding is, if they feel in any way told what to do they kick off.

I have had to make a joke about they amount they are feeding her, telling them it is far too much. I suspect they are feeding her like that though as it 'appears' to soothe her.

The whole thing is making me angry now. Virtually every post has come from parents with real life experiences. I just wish they would try. As i keep saying no harm will be done from trying but it could change their lives

Sadly they are making her ill with that amount of milk. Is the gp aware of the volume?
I think you might need to be cruel to be kind and spell it out for them. The baby must be in great distress.

@bitchfromhell i absolutely agree. I think our friendship will take a massive hit unfortunately but so be it. I would be amazed if the doctor knew the volume. Its crazy.

Hopefully long term your friendship will withstand it. You sound lovely, wish I had a friend like that

I don't envy you here, Spidey, what a tricky position to be in.

Do you think there might be an element of PND in play here? I just wonder because they seem unusually passive and lacking in impetus. And having a newborn who screams all day long would increase the risk for this.

without a doubt! On both parts, Mom and Dad. Both have already said how much they hate their lives at the moment. But I know they adore her.

I just worry about the little baby. If she is in any type on pain I will be heartbroken, and I know they will be distraught as they have 'done as they have been told'

Oh dear, that is tricky. I'm not surprised they are both depressed. The thing is, as you know, as adults it isn't always appropriate to just'do as you're told'. Unfortunately, depression can cause disabling inertia. But as you say, there's a small helpless baby who is suffering.

If the GP is suggesting Calpol he obviously thinks she is in pain, so what is his diagnosis for the cause of it?

I don't suppose a HV could be helpful?

Apparently all they keep being told is she has a good set of lungs on her and is a screamer.

I was very angry about the Calpol because to me that would suggest pain. It has also settled her but she needs to keep being topped up.
I am pretty angry that that is the answer at the moment, to keep the baby on Calpol. Its absolutely f*ing wrong in my opinion.

I have to be honest though as I am not sure how much they are telling the doctors/HV. A comment was made by my friends family member that they were bad parents, and they were a combination of angry and distraught. I had to reassure them to take no notice as they are learning and go easy on themselves, but they really really really dont want to be seen as bad parents who havent got a clue. So they are more likely to just accept it as they are being led to believe everything is normal.

Of course she could just be a cryer. However that would not be my first and only opinion. I would have to explore other things before I accept she just cries. She thrashes about and is inconsolable. Her poor skin is so dry and red.

Mental health is awful. I suffer myself. But I had to force myself to get help. I knew I loved my baby. He was the only thing that kept me going. There were many days I was trapped in my life but had to drag us to the doctors for either help for myself and/or him. My point is you have to take the actions in a hope you will feel better etc. I dont think either will want to accept their depression though.

Screaming CMPA to me.

You can buy necoate over the counter but it's eye-wateringly expensive (£35+ per tin) and would likely take a month or so before it had a positive effect (if it was going to). Its a hypoallergenic formula. myneocate.co.uk/learn/neocate-syneo

You can also get soy/lactose free/goat milk formula, all of which might help too.

They need to go back and insist on being taken seriously.

www.nannycare.co.uk/our-milks

Goat milk formula.